I have been with my boyfriend for 10 yrs, we fight all the time, he's cheated in the past, as have I, but now that he's older he's starting to be nicer to me for some reason.(Probably age-he's 38 now)We have a lot of issues that will probably never be resolved and i think we stay together out of familiarity. I have close friends that live out-of-state that constantly offer me the chance to stay with them and their family(good,wholesome,country-folk)by myself of course. they want me to be happy for once in my life and I want to go badly but i am filled with guilt at the idea of just leaving after 10 years when things are rough.I'm 29, I have no family and no job right now.So should I just go for it and do what I want for once or stick it out with my boyfriend knowing that we will probably end up hating each other in a year?I'm afraid that if i go and things don't work out there, I'll miss my boyfriend and it'll be too late to change things back. Please help!
2007-01-27 17:38:32 · 15 answers · asked by ? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Leaving a long term relationship is very hard, i speak from experience and waiting is worse. You have developed a soul tie with this person and the longer you been with them its like leaving a marriage. But if you leave before your ready, it will be mess, and youll just come back. If your good and fed up then a good clean break is best, and moving around a support group of friends is the best. A man that wont comment is stealing your life!! and chance to be happy and maybe with someone else. Your twenty nine and have so much ahead for you, it takes courage to do this and your thinking about, so it in your heart its what you want to do. So what if things dont work out with your friends, get a job first off and save something and get on your own and enjoy being just you for a while. You can do this if your ready, think about if he takes another ten years from you!!
2007-01-27 17:57:03 · answer #1 · answered by Bought & paid for!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you mentioned that you are not working at the moment, I would suggest, if you can afford it, to first take a trip out-of-state and visit with your friends. First see if you feel you would like that city, the climate, the people, check out the available jobs in your field, the housing costs, etc. And see if you miss your boyfriend while you are visiting your friends.
It is important that you are sure you are really ready to make the move, and not just looking for an excuse to run away from your problems, and your boyfriend. Problems will follow you no matter where you go if you don't resolve them. You may need a change and this just might be the ticket for you! But you want to think it through first, so you don't become too dependent upon your friends and become a burden for them.
I do feel that you may have a better chance of meeting someone new in another state, because people are different and more down-to-earth, and not quite so materialistic.
If you and your boyfriend of 10 years are meant to be together, this trip and your move will put it to the test, and trust me, you will know!
Good luck to you.
2007-01-27 17:53:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have issues that will never be resolved, and you're only staying with him out of familiarity, then you already know the answer. You stay because you're afraid to leave. Nothing in your life will change if you stay. If it doesn't work out with your friends, then you get a job and move out. You should get a job anyway so you're not financially independent on others. You have the chance for happiness now, seize it. You will be lonely sometimes, but you will also have the possibility of something new and better. Go for it!
2007-01-27 17:46:01 · answer #3 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah i have had a close friend move away to another state, It was really unexpected too. I was very lonely afterward because we did everything together. When she left i felt a little betrayed since she didn't have to leave but she chose to leaver her family and friends over some loser. I wasn't the only one who missed her. I would talk with her almost everyday and beg her to come back but she didn't want to. Over time we kinda fall apart. We still talk to this day but it'll never be the same. I know your situation is totally different from mine. But I would suggest you keep in contact with him by talking on the phone or emailing. Whatever communication you choose just remember that you're aren't promised tomorrow so you should cherish everyone that God has blessed to be apart of your life.
2016-03-29 05:58:04 · answer #4 · answered by Loretta 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you just answered your own question, but if that didn't sink in, I'll say it again. YOUR NOT HAPPY!!!!!! and life is way to short not to be happy or at least around people that make YOU smile. i bet if you go with your friends far from this guy put a time limit on it (say a year ).then focus on the things that are important to you friends,pets, career before you even talk to him again (or never ) then im sure that you and friends will be better for it. ask your boyfriend! if he tell you to stay then i think he is not thinking of your needs (not good ) and if he say go, then what more do you need. pack your crap, call a friend, and enjoy life for all that its worth. hope i was able to motivate you? cuz I've been there. good luck.
2007-01-27 18:10:21 · answer #5 · answered by z 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for it. It's never worth it to stay in a bad relationship. You are only hurting each other. You can always find another guy. I'd rather be with good friends than with a bad boyfriend.
Your boyfriend doesn't really seem to appreciate you, since it's been going on for so long. And u have probably gotten used to this abusive relationship. This happened to me. I had a really abusive boyfriend and I just got used to it, and he got used to taking me for granted and treating me like crap.
So I decided to let him go, and I found a Prince Charming, who treats me SO much better! You are still young, and still have a great chance of finding the right guy to settle down with.
Be brave and take a chance!
2007-01-27 17:48:37 · answer #6 · answered by chocolatecupcake 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
where is the delima? already wasted 10 years. life is very short and is not meant to be spent unhappy. do you really want to spend another 10 like the last? go for it get a life you can be happy about. dont be the one who regrets the chances they didnt take. take a chance you cant be any worse off than you are now. be brave have some heart for your self
2007-01-27 17:46:03 · answer #7 · answered by Special Edition 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go. It will never really be good with him. You are still young and can find a great man that will treat you like you want to be treated. Also, you will be surrounded by people who really love you. And you can start doing all the things you have been missing out on.
Which sounds better to you?
2007-01-27 17:47:57 · answer #8 · answered by A dad & a teacher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make the move before you find yourself age 38 and regretting you didnt risk it. At that age itll be harder to find someone new. Life is risks. Be glad you have friends that care. Some women are stuck and dont even have that. Someday itll be too late.
2007-01-27 17:42:32 · answer #9 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best answer is inside of you Why? because you alone know the whole story, sitdown in a relaxing place and start thinking bout the good and the bad both have to offer, if you dont get me look other prespective, only you could answer thta question.
2007-01-27 17:51:52 · answer #10 · answered by daneris f 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋