Is my friend wrong?

Question

Since her aunt passed away, she has to leave city to attend furneal. She has been out since yesterday and will be back on Sunday.

She have her boyfriend and me stay at her place. Her boyfriend is there to take care of her three dogs and to watch her 6 years old daughter for two or three hours after school when I'm at work. Also she want him there for in case her daughter's father tried to take her way.

Last night, her daughter woke up and cried due to night mare. My friend says this happen often and she'll usually go back to sleep in 15 or 20 mins. So I ignore the sound of her crying. However her crying stop suddenly so I went down to see what is up. I found her room door open, the boyfriend was sit on her daughter's bed rubbing her back. I gave him a dirty look and mouthed "get out" He glare at me and whisper "good night sweetheart" to her before get up and leave to go back to bed.

Today I asked the girl what happened. She says he came in

and hug her, talk to her, kiss her on the head and rubs her back until she fall asleep.

I called my friend and told her about this. She told me I was wrong and to apologize to him. She says he would never do anything wrong and treat her as his own daughter.

They has been going out for about seven months. He have known her daughter for about three or four months. He's 24, my friend is 26.

Is she out of her mind or not?

Answer 1

How would you feel if you was the one sitting on the bed rubbing the little girls back because she was having a nightmare and this guy walked in and gave you a dirty look and said get out?

In my opinion he was only comforting the little girl. If he was assulting her I am sure he would have closed the door for one!

Why did you ignore the sound of her cries, why didnt you go in and comfort her when she was crying?

Answer 2

Not every man is a pervert, and he would have to be an extremely stupid one to molest a child with someone else in the house with the door open! Especially since she was crying loudly enough to be heard by you in another part of the house. Sometimes a guy sitting on a little girls bed and rubbing her back is just a guy showing concern. To the girlfriend, you probably look like a bit of an overprotective person right about now. You should apologize to him, unless you have some other reason to think he is some kind of perv!!!

Answer 3

I think you are over reacting.. He is being a good dad. Ruing a kids back when they have a nightmare is a way to calm them down and he has probable seen her mother do it. he just wants the child to feel safe and comforted. Children have nightmares for all kinds of reasons. My husband gets up with my kids at night more than I do and they are his stepchildren too. He gives them kisses on the cheek and rubs their back until they go back to sleep all the time he has been with them for a long tim and they know him as their dad since their dad isn't in their life. He is a great father. I think you have nothing to worry about. The child told you that he came in gave her a kiss and rubbed her back until she went to sleep. There is nothing wrong with that. i would apologize.

Answer 4

While I'm personally not that trusting it's not fair to believe that every guy's a pedophile. You should probably tell him that you're just protective and didn't know how your friend felt about this. If he's trust worthy he should understand, he woundn't want anyone to take advantage of the baby either. Not quite an apology just a polite explainatoin of your reason. I think you were justified in acting that way ubtil you had her word on it. After that it's her choice right or wrong.

Answer 5

If your friend feels that she can trust him then it is her call since she is her daughter. After all the little girl didn't say he did anything bad. Besides you would have known if something weird was going on. The little girl would have acted strange towards him in a way that woul have let you know something had happened. So i suggest you take things a little easier and just look out for the little girl, regardless.

Answer 6

I guess I don't understand what's so wrong about him comforting the daughter as long as the daughter is comfortable with it... I mean, he's not like taking advantage of her and raping her right? And maybe she wants him to be a father figure for her, seeing as to how the mum doesn't want the real dad to come get her I assume he isn't a great dad... I think it's all right.

Answer 7

Personally I think your passing judgement upon the boyfriend too soon. It could be totally innocent. Personally I think its sweet that he cares so much, and at this point without more information pointing to that he is a bad person I feel that is all there is too it. You have to think your friend is around her boyfriend and daugther more and if she trusts him then you should to. I think you might be over reacting unless you have further information that he is a weirdo. Maybe he has younger siblings so he is use to this type of thing and was just trying to help.

Answer 8

Not every body is a sex offender. He sounds like he was just trying to comfort the child. Age doesn't matter. You probably should apologize to him and explain why you did what you did. He will more than likely understand. Being a dad is more than donating sperm

Answer 9

that was a nice thing for him to do, i have 4 kids and when they have nightmares i do the same thing and it works every time. if the little girl starts to act weird towards him in the future then maybe you could ask her some questions about it, but until then i think he seems to be doing the right thing.

Answer 10

So what did you see? You saw him sitting on her bed rubbing her back...what if it had been her father doing the same thing what would you think? If you walked in and saw her mother rubbing her back what would you think? YOU were wrong. Apologize.