My brother makes fun of me in front of my daughter (l find that immature, but whatever), it embarrases me and makes me feel stupid and silly. He rough houses with my daughter and won't stop when she says 'ouch' or 'stop'. He argues with me about things I want to do or my life decisions and tells me how wrong I am. And when I confront him he gets angry with me and finds it all my fault for being sensitve or serious. I emailed him and he emailed me back really rude. He refuses to admit that my feelings are valid and won't stop. So I told him that he is out of the family. I refuse to take myself and my kids to family gatherings where I feel helpless to protect myself or my kids from feeling bullied. Now my family is upset. "Your kids will miss easter with the family' or 'your grandma only has one 80'th birhtday'. I just tell them that I should not feel guilted into putting me or my kids into a situation like that. Why when you do what is best for you, others get mad at you?
2007-01-27 16:05:58 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I should add that other than that we get along great and have alot of fun.. but these incidents happen alot and every time we see him. I am wondering if this is an emotional gap from his using dope heavily for over 10 years???? Just a thought
2007-01-27 16:10:15 · update #1
it's not worth calling the cops.. their is alot of fun and laughs inbetween these things.. and he doesn't stand there and scream at me... he is successful, handsome and funny... he just picks on me and can't stop when we say no
2007-01-27 16:23:22 · update #2
just do what is best for you and make a more respectful family for your kids... really what he thinks doesn't matter.. what matters is that you are happy and treated properly in your life
2007-01-27 18:51:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl I have an Uncle just like that! It's not something he will grow out of since he's an adult and set in his ways. It's easily diagnosed but something you can't tell him about or he will blow up. Any attempt at discussing the problem will only result in more bitter responses and maybe a cessation of speaking all together! What is it he has? "immaturity!" He's a big duffus! Unfortunately if he is an adult, you can kiss the attempt at confrontation goodbye! Nothing good can come of this. Best to keep yourself and any kids you may have away from him. My Uncle hurt my son so bad we had to take him to the E.R. His attitude was aaaww he'll be O.K. we were just rough housing. Then slapped him up side the head (in jest) to show no harm had been caused. Unfortunately I lost it and it was a good thing we were in the E.R. He'll never talk to me again, or anyone associated with us. I consider that a blessing now!
2007-01-28 01:41:52 · answer #2 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brother is a bully and a creep. He knows the family isn't going to do anything about him. He shouldn't be invited but they will. If you go and he starts up leave, if he really starts call the cops. Your children do not need to see you disrespected or emotionally and mentally and verbally abuse. He is abusing your daughter by not stopping, and I have serious concerns about his morals. Keep him away from your kids!
If the family doesn't help, then they don't deserve your time. Spend it with people who truly care for you and your kids.
2007-01-28 00:17:54 · answer #3 · answered by Pantherempress 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i cant say that i have that exact problem but i know where your coming from. i also dont think that you should take yourself out of your family activities just because of him, because if you stoop to his level it wont make anything better. plus you dont want your children to miss out like she said your grandmas 80th!
a few things to always remember about your brother or anyones brother
men dont listen
they dont get feelings
brothers dont think of there sisters in any other form that someone to pick on.. prime suspect on top of that.
he will always want to bully you!
your children will either get bullied or will be rough-housed.
my brother doesnt argue with me only because he will just shut his mouth sometmes but my brother is younger than me he just turned 18 a couple days ago and i am 21 he has always tried to over power me and ( he does these days) and he is very rough with my children and he have fought a lot and yes the yelling drive me nutz too... i would just suggest that maybe you tell him hey if you cant respect me and not treat me like this dont come to my house. at family gatherings please leave me alone unless you are willing to be normal and not irriatate my children and myself.. please and thank you
hopefully he will leave you alone. some days if my brother wants to he will leave me alone but he comes over at least 5 times a week and maybe 4 out of those 5 times he will do something that bothers me either from a mothers view or sisters but mainly from a mothers point. they seem to think teaching your children these terrible things are what there supposed to do!!
good luck hopefully you dont miss out to much on family stuff
2007-01-28 01:34:17 · answer #4 · answered by rymmomma2815 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to let him and the family know what going on he has
not right to do things that may be harmful to your daughter,
she your first concern and if he and the family have a problem
then stop all converstion with all of them, you have a right
to live your life with out all the drama with this man, does not
matter that he your brother enough is enough.
2007-01-28 01:32:33 · answer #5 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i guess its life but you did the right thing your in a point in your life where your familys opinion dont count. remember you have your own family to look after and you being one of your familys member didnt feel welcomed neither will your kids. so dont worry for them theyre all grown up look out for the kids and their well being ...
2007-01-28 00:13:20 · answer #6 · answered by luby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Screw what others think. Knock your brother upside the head with a frying pan and tell him you will always defend your daughter. If others get mad, they can scratch their *** and get glad the same way they got mad.
2007-01-28 00:12:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋