Should I be talking to his ex?

Question

Okay so all day I have been chatting with my boyfriend's ex girlfriend through myspace e-mail. I have been complaining alot about my boyfriend and asking her alot of questions about how she delt with certain things he did and what not.. But I have also been asking around and is it wise to do that? They do not speak to each other but myspace is not something you can delete. There is a change she could show him the e-mails... it doesn't seem like she would but how should I approach this? Should I stop or keep continuing the e-mails? Thanks

Answer 1

You're an idiot. I hope she doesn't show him because if I was him, I'd be furious. What's between me and my girl is between me and my girl, not between me, her, her mother, her sisters, assorted neighbors and friends and CERTAINLY NOT between her and my ex.

Grow up.

Answer 2

Damn! You have to stop straight away...

There is no good that can come from getting advice from a person who didn't want to be with or that your boyfriend didn't want to be with. You can pretty much assure that you are not getting honest advice, and all it would take is for her to want to damage your relationship and it is all over for you and him.

Exes have a lot of great information, but it is not the way you want to find out about your significant other. Complaining about him will only get you into trouble and if it is actually a relationship you want to hold on to - then talk to the guy - not his ex...

You've gotta stop and come clean to him - otherwise it will be right there just waiting for an opportunity to come up and ruin what you have going.

Answer 3

Well there are two answers to this. First you have to remember she is an ex and everything that comes out of her mouth might not be the truth, depending on how their relationship ended and her feelings for him now. Secondly she MIGHT show him the emails then what?

I actually had a situation similar to yours. I was at my bf's house and answer the phone and guess who was on the other end..That's right his ex. She was very nice we got to talking and I found out things about him I never dreamed {because after all he had told me different} so the question was who do I believe. She told me once he had attacked her, I asked him of course he denied it claiming he'd never hit a woman. Then one night as we were driving home out of no where as I sat in the passengers seat of my own car I heard a pop and things went black. He had punched me 3 times in the side of the head knocking me out. Why? Because like she said he had a personality disorder and all his anger was taken out on her,that night he had fought w his best friend and I guess he felt the need to take it out on me. So I guess what I am trying to say is if she is telling you things which he is denying you have to truly sit and wonder whose telling you the truth. looking back I should have listened to her but I thought "shes the ex and mad she'll make anything up"

Answer 4

I can tell you feel it's wrong.
She probley is amused at you for asking her advise.This might bring them back together if they're not already,sorta.
Although....hmmmmm
If you asked your boyfriend how he would feel about it in an around about way then take it from there.I don't even know of an around about way to talk about it.
I just remember I discovered my girlfriend talked to my ex when she said things my ex would say.Like in a fight my ex would say something I hated and only she would say that.Well one day my girlfriend tried it on me.I knew she talked to my ex.
She knew she was wrong for what she said and even said Uh oh.
It's probly best to let the conversations with her just fade out of the picture.You are different then her.Just remember that he left her.Or if she left him it was because she couldn't make it work from the ways she tried.If you are her he may leave you.Be yourself and work things out yourself.Its the only true way to learn.If you try to learn how to work things out from an ex you may and up learning how to be one too.

Answer 5

If you are with someone, regardless if you know a hundred people that know him, you should always keep your business between you two. If the shoe was on the other foot, how would that make you feel?

She may have been in a relationship with him, but you are two different people and are going to handle things differently. That's why she is the ex. She had to have handle things wrong or she wouldn't be in his past.

Answer 6

Your asking for alot of pain that doesn't belong to you. Plus the fact that ex's don't always tell the truth, for one reason or the other. What issue prompted you to contact her? Perhaps you should have discussed that issue with your BF first. I hope all works out well for you.

Answer 7

whoa you are treading on thin ice dear...messing with a guys ex girlfriend. Especially on email or myspace where there is a trail. And I would absolutely not be surprised if she tells him. Be afraid, be very afraid.

Answer 8

You should graciously tell the ex that you have a bad conscience about talking to her about him. Then ask her to forgive you for meddling (this is all documented on myspace!).

Answer 9

The ex will always feel supirior to you...and this just super amunition for her to blab how pathetic you are...(not that you are...just that is how she would spin it)
so in answer to your question....YOU SHOULD STOP RIGHT NOW TALKING TO THE EX!!! Can you imagine what good could come from your boyfriend talking to YOUR EX!?

Answer 10

Your bf's ex-gf should be the last person you complain about him to. Their relationship is different from yours. Next thing you know, you're gonna be comparing your sexual activities and wonder which one of you he prefers in bed.

STOP it before it gets out of hand and it's foolish.

Answer 11

You know what's so sad about your question, is that you seem to be concerned ONLY with getting caught by your boyfriend.

Maybe your concern would be better served by trying to become a better person than a manipulative gossip.