What would you do??? guys and girls PLZ.?

Question

my freind has a 21 year old daughter who approached him with this. she has had a crush on me since 16 yrs. she told her dad about it today. i just learned about it from my freind today. he thinks that we would make a good match together. he told me that he'd be ok with us dating. he knows i'd treat her good. i need some advice from someone level headed as i'm mostly thinking with my d**k. i'm not really worried about age difference. (should i be??). we have more in common than most. and she is really pretty. i am more worried about losing a life long friend if it doesn't work out. he assures this wont happen, but???

Answer 1

well how old are you?
u are being rational, thinking about losing ur friend.
think about the pros and cons...is it worth risking your friendship over?
if you think shes just some other girl ud be with, then i say dont do it, but if u think it has potential to turn into something worthwhile, try it.
in the end, i think friends come over bf/gf....because u can always break up with them...but then u wont have ur friend.
idk, its a decision you have to make, what you are willing to lose.
anyway, it all could just work out in the end, you never know.
good luck :)

Answer 2

First of all, let me commend you for seeking advice first before acting. That shows you're actually thinking with something above the neck. ; )

If she's 21 and you're friends with her father, then I'm assuming you're somewhere in your 40s...at least. I'm not against age differences, per se. But you've to understand that the difference between you and this girl isn't just 20+ years...

You are established in life. You know who you are, what you want out of life, what you're willing to do to get it...I'm sure you're established in a career, and thus a locale. She, on the other hand, is probably just discovering who she is (even if she *thinks* she already knows). There is SO much growth that takes place in the early 20s. People in this age range are college students still wondering what the heck they want to be when they grow up! I guarantee you that in five years, this girl will be a completely different person...for starters, she'll be a woman. Do NOT be fooled by 21 being a legal age. There is a vast difference between a girl of 21 and a woman of 26.

Physically we go through changes every several years due to hormonal ebbing and flowing. Emotionally we mature from girls to women. Intellectually we become more rooted. We begin to understand who we are as women and what we have to offer. Believe me, this process takes time...and she's in a completely different place than you are. For these reasons, getting involved with someone so much younger is not a great idea. Expectations are vastly different for a relationship.

Now, putting all that aside, your instincts (the ones stemming from you brain rather than the ones "south of the belt") are good. Even though her father says it would be ok with him and it would have no bearing on your friendship, I find it hard to believe he wouldn't want to take you out back and teach you a lesson if his little girl ever suffered hurt as a result of your relationship. Take your ... er... "man toy" and find another sandbox to play in. There are plenty of wonderful, eligible, beautiful women closer to your age than this girl. This is just a disaster waiting to happen. And if you really are concerned about your friendship with this guy, then listen to THAT voice rather than your ... umm ... "thingy." lol this is a family site! ; )

By the way, the fact that she's "had a crush on you since she was 16" is very telling. Crushes are the stuff of kids...not adults. And the fact that she still harbors a school-girl fantasy of romance with you should indicate to you what her emotional maturity level is. Also, a 16 year old girl who has a crush on a grown man...that tells me that something's not right with her. I'm guessing she has daddy issues and is seeking a "surrogate" father-figure in her life, though I'm sure she has no clue that that's the case. Is her father genuinely and actively involved in her life in an appropriate way? (I don't mean to suggest any perverted stuff is going on...) What I mean is, is he a good father? I have my doubts if he's giving a man twice her age the green light to date his baby. That's just kinda weird. Helloooo paging Dr. Freud! lol ; )

Good luck to you.

Answer 3

Blood is thicker than water. Think with the head on your shoulders. You already know what the answer is...otherwise you wouldn't have even asked the question.

Honestly.....what are the odds that you and a 21 yr old will be together in 5 years?

What are the odds that you and your friend will still be friends in 5 yrs if you DON'T have this relationship with his daughter?

I'd go for the sure thing. Stay friends and stay away from the daughter.

Answer 4

im not so sure if you should be worried about age difference either, for one i dont know how old you are and i dont know how old she is. but i can say one thing how will you know you are going to lose a friend unless you try, what i mean is that you could gain more than a friend you could gain a whole new life from her. give it a shot, too many people are afraid to do the same thing and then they lose their chance and they will never know what could have happened if they woulda just tried. and if she likes you then i know for a fact things will work out just take things slow and try to ignore you d**k. trust me it doesnt have a very good head when it comes to relationships.

Answer 5

Hunnie, she's 21...c'mon. If your friend is her parent, that would put you in the 35-50 age bracket, right? As much as I'm sure you'd love a piece o' that, can't you find someone your own age, or at least that's not within your circle of friends? Secondly, if you persue this, you can kiss the friendship with the parent goodbye -it might not happen right away, but, it will happen. Thirdly....WHAT KIND OF A PARENT WOULD ALLOW THIS????

...oh yeah, lots, I just remembered....it's called patriarchal society...ask yourself what you have that the parent wants for his/her daughter ($$$??, arranged marriage???, cultural tradition??) My point is that it is highly unusual for a parent to pawn off their kid to someone who is at least 20 years older then them without some underlying motivation...

Anyway....keep your respect by keeping your d*** in your pants, that's all I can say...

Answer 6

When Aristoteles was asked what he thought the perfect age difference between husband and wife is, he said 17 years. When they asked him why 17, he said because that's the difference between his and his wife's age and they were perfectly happy.
There's so much more to this then age...
All it usually means is that you can't let your self go as bad as other men do and you have to be careful not to sound corny when trying to act younger.
And don't bow to her whims or let her run the show. She'll try that but she'll absolutely contempt you, if you do.
But if you don't go with it, you'll always regret it.
So roll up your sleeves and be the best guy you can, one more time...

Answer 7

You seem like a really nice person especially since you are keeping in mind your friendship. Take it slow with her. GO ot a few times and see how things work out. But keep your guard up and see if this is really working out or not. If you need to cut this off in the beginning then do that. Don't let it drag out.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

you probably shouldn't be worried about the age difference but if you are worried about loosing your friend if it doesn't work out then it most likely isn't a good idea. if you like her then try it and see what happens it might work out better then you expected or it might be kinda awkward since she is your friend's daughter (which I'm assuming it would be) but you will never know unless you try it.

Answer 10

Well, she is 21, and able to make up her mind about who she wants to date and also to take the consequences if it doesn't work out. I hope she is mature and can handle an @ss like you who mostly "thinks with his d**k". Bet if your friend knew that about you that he wouldn't want you dating his daughter.