My 20 year old neice is getting married and I'm not interested in attending her wedding for several reasons. For one, I think she is way too young and I am 100% sure it will end in divorce within the next 2 years. Of course I didn't tell her any of this, but what is a good excuse not to show up.
2007-01-27 14:43:00 · 21 answers · asked by Kady 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Not a good situation, so sad.
Here's a few to consider....
-You booked an expensive trip that week and can't get a refund.
-Your therapist said it's unwise to see any brides for a while.
-You developed a rash which is potentially contagious.
-You have lice.
-Can't afford an outfit for the wedding and you don't want to embarrass her.
-Migraine headaches pop up when you least expect it you know... can't be around loudness or brightlights, not to mention the possibility of throwing up.
Hope they will get ya started.
Even though you don't agree with it... maybe you could go just to support her as a relative and enjoy a nice meal.
What if it does work out for her and you may regret not spending her special day with her and the rest of your family?
I'd go just to go. (My step niece was too young too but I went and had a pleasant night out). You have to send a gift anyways right? So why not get something out of it? She's still going to get married with or with out you there.
2007-01-27 14:58:10 · answer #1 · answered by Gigi 4 · 2⤊ 4⤋
Short of a serious illness or being near death there isn't a good excuse. Of course you can say you just don't want to go, or you flat out refuse to go, but is it worth getting the family pissed off at you? Then they will remember you for this rebuff and hold it against you for the rest of your life. Is that worth it too? As far as your views about the marriage that is none of your concern. It's all well and good that you do keep it to yourself. So you might as well bite the bullet and go. It's only for a short time and you can unwind at the reception. Just be a gracious Uncle and wish them both well. Be a smart mature person and don't make any waves. This is a big day for the family and everyone involved; especially for her. The last thing anyone needs is a wet blanket thrown on this important occasion. Just be remembered as someone who played a positive roll and who acted and contributed amicably toward everyone.
2007-01-27 15:21:10 · answer #2 · answered by quantumview 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm sorry your niece is making a big mistake, from your perspective. I would also have mixed feelings if i felt that it wasn't going to work.
The good excuse depends on the proximity. If you would have to board a plane to make it, it shouldn't be too hard to say that you are....like the other person said, needing to attend an important work meeting...if it's just a long car ride at most, honestly, you need to GO...and wish her the best...
Haven't you made mistakes in your life?????
Your niece is only going to learn to make better decisions for herself by exposure to better example, like yours...
So: if you need to fly to get there, i'm sure you can think of something to get out of it. If you could get there by driving, you need to go. Others have pulled for you in your times of naivette :)
2007-01-27 15:01:48 · answer #3 · answered by mickeymouse 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What if you're wrong and the marriage doesn't end in divorce? Would you feel bad for not going?
I think its a little wrong. You could at least pretend to be happy for her and try and think positive.
But as for excuses should you decide to do such a cruel heartless thing to your niece:
Tell her you have to work.
You're sick.
You could always tell her the truth as well. Don't worry about her getting upset with you over it. She'll be upset anyway if you lie to her and not show up at her wedding.
2007-01-27 15:19:27 · answer #4 · answered by Danielle 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
If you RSVP yes, then you really should attend...it would be very rude not to. If not, tell her you have a very important business meeting that weekend. You sound like a horrible aunt any way, and she should be happy that you wont be attending. I know Im glad youre not an aunt of mine!
2007-01-28 01:11:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should go - it is family. There will be no excuse that will work that they won't be able to see through. Buy a gift that is for her, so should they divorce, she'll end up with it (something pretty).
Bottom line - she is getting married - like it or not - and you wouldn't choose divorce for her, so unless you think the guy is bad news, support her in her decsion to make it work.
I know I've done things over the years that people haven't agreed with - but once I've made up my mind they supported me to help me make it work - and that support was invaluable.
2007-01-27 14:47:48 · answer #6 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 4⤊ 3⤋
since you know the date that she is getting married on you cant just go up to her and say that you have plans. It doesnt make sense. Just dont show up. With all the running around she is going to be too busy to stop and notice who showed up. I hope this helps.
2007-01-27 15:25:21 · answer #7 · answered by needanswers 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well gee arent you an old prune you should be happy for her no matter what you think its her life not yours and she cares enough about you to send you an invitation not going would be stupid, this is an opportunity for you to see her happy. and its not for you to decide if her relationship will last or not. so put your prune juice in the frig and go to the wedding. are you married do you remember how you felt when you got married and how many people may have been opposed to your marriage
2007-01-27 15:14:54 · answer #8 · answered by angeleyessly 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
go to the wedding...it is not your place to judge her youth or choice...our entire family believed that we would not last and so some did not come, some came without a gift and the grooms parents would not host a rehearsel dinner because it was hopeless and many of his mom's sisters would not come but when his brothers got married things were elaborate and the gifts were expensive and they got divorced and we have been married almost 25 years...we don't "told you so" but those who judged us...got to eat those words until death.
2007-01-27 15:45:30 · answer #9 · answered by Library Eyes 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think you should go to the wedding. This is your neice, you should support her. And if things turn out the way you think, she will need that support later.
2007-01-27 17:06:21 · answer #10 · answered by kalea_kane 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋