How does the family dynamic change when one alcoholic quits? How soon into the recovery process should re-integration with the active alcoholic begin if ever?
2007-01-27 14:28:50 · 5 answers · asked by sweet_leaf 7 in Health ➔ Mental Health
No way in hell They have to separate.Not unless the sober one has ohhh about 20yrs under his/her belt.I am a recovering alcoholic/addict. I have been clean for 5yrs.I can picture me being married to an active user, or drinker.I know he could get me drunk before I could get him sober.There just no way in hell it can work.
2007-01-27 16:06:04 · answer #1 · answered by Leneki 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well my father and two brothers are all alcoholics. They all quit separately and were quite supportive of eachother during their trials. Since each could see the problems it was causing in the other! It helped that they were all adults and weren't living with eachother day by day but they did get together for all those lovely family get togethers where alcohol was present. So it is possible.
I guess a lot depends on if the other alcoholic feels "threatened" by the other quitting or not. A really relevant factor was that each made the decision for themselves and concentrated on healing themselves rather than trying to "fix" the people around them. I think that approach gave them a lot of peace about it. They also all attended AA.
2007-01-27 14:40:38 · answer #2 · answered by psycho-cook 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If someone is truly an alcoholic, as opposed to someone who has an alcohol problem, they should not be around active drinkers. Most drinkers don't realize that learning how to live sober is a lifelong comitment. You can't chill with folks who drink because sooner or later you'll have a "bad day" and having 1 drink can turn into a relapse. I've been surrounded with this for almost 20 years and can't count the number of people I've seen return to drinking. Sobriety is so much better......good luck.
2007-01-27 14:46:01 · answer #3 · answered by WhoMe 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I won't say it can't work. But I will also say, if someone chooses to live with an active addict, and is in recovery themselves, it is difficult to remain sober, however, if the one is in recovery, and is serious about staying sobe/clean, they will work on their own life and program, and stay out of the one that is still using.
I am a recovering alcoholic of 8 yrs., and my husband is a recovering addict of 1 year.
I had to think about "my own program, and make a life for myself," if I was going to stay with him. I couldn't fix him, I had to fix me! It was much harder fixing me, then it was fixing him!
Finally, I didn't fix him, he fixed him. We have been together 21 years. I am not going to say it was a "bed of roses" but I'm not going to say it was "hell" either. Financially it was difficult, and that was the hardest! I worked, he didn't. Then he got disabled, then he had a income with mine, then I quit. (I'm bipolar). So then it was just his income, and surprizingly, it got BETTER! Then we made a geographical move, and he has been clean for a year.
So I'm not going to say it can't work, but I'm not going to say it can either. It depends on the one that is sober/clean, and how much you want the relationship. How abusive he is or isn't? Mine wasn't! Do you have kids? I didn't. No one can answer that question but you and the alcoholic that is in recovery.
2007-01-27 16:49:00 · answer #4 · answered by Ikeg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i imagine you're a saint for having stayed with him. extraordinarily in view that he needs to stop. He ought to ability plenty to you so do not pay interest to others who're telling you to promote off him. i wager it is a lot a lot less stressful to desert complications than face them. recuperating alcoholics have it extremely complicated. it is in contrast to drug-addicts. Alcohol would properly be offered everywhere, in any quantity, at any time. Then there is the publicity to it. His acquaintances can drink, people drink at events, it is everywhere. Alcohol also kinds a heavy habit in lengthy time period drinkers. He can't beat it on my own if he's in too. He only can't. ultimately he will relapse. both he ought to bypass right into a rehabilitation software, or bypass to AA. he will be able to communicate with people superb in alcoholism and he will be with others in a help team. some people don't like the team component. He ought to bypass communicate with a specialist focusing on gestalt treatment. it is problematical and he's been doing properly for the six months like you reported. it is progression. Relapses take position on the line to fix yet logical people study from them and bypass on. he's in all likelihood feeling regretful (it is the m.o.) and in case you up and depart him he will maximum in all probability fall into the habit. he's on the route to fix. He knows he has a difficulty. you should assist him see what he has to do. i imagine in case you want the guy then you genuinely'll help him by ability of it. he will thanks.
2016-10-16 05:02:39 · answer #5 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋