can anyone help me with my problem cuz im addicted. i really need help.?

Question

im addicted to my relationship. im not happy and i keep going back. it wasnt my fault that it got messed up. he broke my trust and now im the bad guy for complaining, crying, and fussing. i break up with him and go back. this has been going on for 2 1/2 yrs. ive lost my sef esteem. i leave him and then he sweet talks me and i let him back. knowing deep down inside what he is capable of. i see what im doing and for some reason i keep doing. all i have to do is ask him to go and he'll go but i hate the fact that he is willing to leave me without a fight. it hurts and i dont know what to do. ive prayed and i cant afford counseling. is there anyone that can give me some encouraging words. i feel real bad and emty inside as a woman. im begining to wonder if all men are like this. he doesnt take anything that i say serious, i guess cuz i keep taking him back. plz anyone what can i do?

Answer 1

Though it may not be the best way, I want you to try this.
Eat healthy every day. Exercise at least 20 minutes 5 times a week). When you feel good about what is going on with your physically, it helps our emotion. And if you fail one day, start again tomorrow. Then find someone at work whom you trust (or a family member) and tell them what you are experiencing. Often times when we verbalize our problems and set small goals, having others know and ask/talk to us about them holds us accountable for doing better. I lived with a man for 25 years who made me feel like a piece of sh!t with his words. I got out. You don't want to waste more time with him, but if you take one small step in backing permanently away, good for you.

Answer 2

That makes me sad to hear that a woman is letting this happen to herself. NO MAN is worth losing your self esteem over. I understand that even though things can be bad you can't seem to let go because there is still deep down an attachment to that person. Whether it be emotional or the physical aspect of them just being near you. I feel that you need to move on and better yourself. The fact that you are aware that the situation is a negative one that tells me right there that it is time to get out of it. I'm sure it hurts to know that he will leave you without a fight but that also shows his disinterest in you. NO all men are not like this. I am getting married in June to the most amazing man in the world. I feel that there is someone for everyone and some things take time. You need to find a man who will treat you the way every woman deserves to be treated like a queen and someone that will respect you. Keep your faith strong and praying helps everything. God will help you through this you need to get away from this so called man. I hope everything works out for you.

Answer 3

The good news is that you realize that there is a problem with you being addicted to this guy. That shows that you are not in denial and that there is hope for you.

The hard part is breaking away.

Perhaps if you could take a vacation from him. Go some place without telling him where you are going. Go with a friend or by yourself. Have fun. You don't have to go far. Just get away and allow yourself to relax and think about other things.

This vacation would allow you to get away from the situation for awhile and might help you to get a better view of just how bad your relationship with him is.

If you are not able to get away, then you might want to go out with friends or family and just have some fun, enjoy yourself, and relax. You need to see that there is life beyond this man.

Ultimately, you need to end this relationship with him, and I know that you realize that, but maybe if you just take a temporary break from him you will be able to see things more clearly and finely once and for all move on with your life.

Life is short. Don't wast all the precious time you have with someone who is toxic in your life.

Answer 4

Well what is the point of the relationship if it doesnt even stay?
You need to tell him that you're not going to take it anymore. Tell him very clearly that you will give ONE last chance and if he hurts you again its over FOR GOOD. Honestly i dont even think hes worth it but if this happens so much 1 last time wont make a difference. turn to your friends and family for support. Don't whine cry or fuss. Think about how great your life would be if you didnt have that constant cloud of that bad relationship hanging over your head every day. Sweet talkings cheap but love isnt. Talk to him and tell him how you feel about his awful behaviour and if none of that works... just walk away. Theres nothing you can do with people like that. If theres something you dont like you can do 3 things: Ignore it/ walk away, live with it, change it. since you cant do the second option try the others and good luck!!!

Answer 5

Sounds to me like your self esteem has been beaten up a bit, every time you went back and it didn't work it made you weaker, you have to walk away, 2 1/2 years is long enough of your life.

What you need is a man who knows how to appreciate a good woman, they are out there if you are looking there are trusted sites you can join that are free, but in any case you have to make the first of many last steps towards regaining your independance, there are many places you can access free couselling.

Best of luck, own your life then you will be able to change it, you have to realize you are where you are because of choices you made, so now you can make the right choice and don't change your mind because there is no need when it is right and for your best interest. You, think of you.

Answer 6

Not all guys are like this. It's not a healthy relationship and he clearly does not care enough. He knows that you are always going to come back to him and that's why he doesn't take your break ups seriously/lets you leave without a fight. The longer you let this go on, the more you are going to hurt yourself. Tell him straight up how you feel. You're the only one who can solve this situation, you said yourself that you know what you're doing.. now you just need to gain some courage and leave him for good. You'll be much happier in the end. Sure, you'll miss him and you'll want to go back but it takes time.. and eventually you're going to realize that the past 2.5 years with him have not been worth it. Some relationships aren't meant to l ast.. they're meant to teach you things about yourself. You'll come out of this a much stronger person once you finally stand up for yourself. Good luck!

Answer 7

Being addicted to a man is like being addicted a drug the only thing that I can tell you is to pray to the lord and ask him to take this addiction that you have for this man away from you and the more more you pray the less you will have to deal with.Stay focused,keep your head up high and try to stay away from himif he calls don't answer,If he comes by act like your your not home don't answer the door.I know that it's going to be hard for you to do.If you want to get your self esteem back you are going to have to leave him alone.as long as he knows that your self esteem is low he is always going to get the best of you and treat you the way that he does.Because he knows that you are to weak move on. think about everything that he has done and ask yourself is he worth the pain that he's causing you.He doesnt put up a fight with you because he really don't care about you .If he did he would be trying to conveince you other wise.

Answer 8

I have been where you are. I was in a bad marriage for 9 years. There is a wonderful book you need to read, called "Co-dependent No More". It was hard for me to accept that I was a co-dependent, but once I started reading this book, I realized how I could begin to take control of my own life again...regain AND enjoy being independent again. And no, not all men are like that. After a couple of years, I found a man who does not allow me to become that dependent on him, and encourages my own independence. Read the book. I think you will see that it helps!

Another book that helped me was "Something More: Excavating Your Authentic Self". One quote from this book, was by the poet Wendell Berry, who wrote: "Be joyful, because it is humanly possible." You don't have to be miserable. There are much better things in store for you! Be patient though, it could take awhile. I am willing to bet though, then when you become more comfortable with yourself, and are beginning to enjoy your independence, you will find true love, without even looking!

Oh, and keep praying. You should pray for your happiness though, not the relationship.

Good luck!!!!

Answer 9

First, if you can't afford counseling, get your friends involved. They can help you in keeping yourself from going back to this guy.

Second, not all guys are like this, trust me. You are missing out on so many amazing experiences by staying with him. Your relationship is not healthy. You need to make a clean break, and don't take him back, no matter how much he sweet talks you. It sounds hard, but if you conquer this, you can find a guy who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. Let yourself get into a relationship where you can be happy. Or, after you get out of this relationship, take a break from guys and find out who you are without a man. your too dependent on your boyfriend, and it's keeping you from finding yourself. Once you are happy with yourself, you can be happy in a relationship.

Answer 10

I was in a similar situation, and the main reason for my 3 1/2 year battle with this? ROUTINE. This has become a habit and a way of doing things for you. It is so hard to quit something that feels like home. Does that make sense? I can't think of a better way to put it. I eventually moved and met a new crowd... including new guys to focus all of my time and energy on. Once you meet someone that sparks your interest, eventually you will just snap- and move on. I promise. My friends were ready to give up on me, saying I would never be done. Good luck!