Foster to adopt requirments?

Question

I have asked alot of questions. My husband and I are looking at adopting from foster care. I have a M.A. in Clinical Psychology and am currently in Graduate School to attain my PhD in Pediatric Clinical Psychology. My husband is going to School to become a Pastor with ELCA Lutheran. I have four years of providing direct therapy services to children in a varity of settings. We would be a great foster family. I have a few misdemeanors as does my husband. We both have minor's in possion of alcohol that date back to our college days. We are talking before the age of 20. My spirits have been crushed by a few responses from previous questions. My husbands misdemeanors happened 8 years ago, mine 5 years ago. We have nothing else in our past or future that would come back to haunt us. We have wonderful and supportive friends and families and our supported by our church. I have not found any law stating that we would be disqualified. Anybody have any experience out there?

Please email me at [e-mail]

As far as the details on the crimes, My husband never failed a breathalizer he just always was in circumstances where there was alcohol, never was intoxacated! My self I passed two breathalizers never was intoxicated, however with the no tolerance for underage drinking I was cited. So all the minors prove is that we were in a situation where we could have drank. I just had fines and my husband had fines and two days jail. It was really dumb kids! We did not get them together we didn't even know each other. I don't know if they are even on our record, since it has never been brought up as a concern and I do alot with children and have had my background checked numerous times. My husband has had his pulled to be a sunday school teacher and too volunteer as a camp counselor. Nothing was ever brough up? How do I go about checking too see what is on there?

Answer 1

Hi, I'm the person who has been scaring you..or being honest with you....but here's the thing you never said they were MIPS (unless that is what an MIC is) all we knew is there were 7 misdemeanors between you.

Concerns will still exist that you have three, that is a lot and your husband has four....one I could say...dumb (or unlucky) kid....but SEVEN between two of you is a big deal and it really isn't all that long ago...you were under 20, but you're only 25! One main concern would be to prove that you are not an alcoholic....you have a family history and were caught three times drinking, disregarding the law (like all college kids do), but we all know there were more you weren't caught for!

So....your mom is not an issue...except it points to a family history......no big deal a lot of my foster parents have drug users as parents......

BUT there are a lot of strengths, your education, your experience, your support systems. I personally would be willing to work with you and I'm pretty sure my supervisor would approve it if I could explain it as dumb college kids who learned their lessons......I'd need to know if you were tested and what your level was, the terms of your probation (rehab, education, AA) and how you were discharged. Michigan looks at date of discharge NOT conviction.

The social worker will look at your home, be sure you have a smoke detector one each floor and a carbon monoxide detector, also a fire extinguisher. You should also have proof of rabbies vaccines for any pets in your home.

Know things like the elementary, middle and high school the children in your neighborhood attend. Nearest hospital.

Have a reliable primary support person and a daycare plan in place...do not use your mother though.

Have references that can speak to BOTH of you, your references need to speak about BOTH of you it can't be all you or all your husband....unless you want to get one from your employer and one from his.....it would be helpful to have some speak of your education and work experience since it directly applies....also people who have trusted you with their own children.

Give details about your church support and your activities with children.

Give any AA sheets or certificates that you completed education or rehab.....if you still know your probation officer ask her is she would write you a letter...she may not be allowed to recommend you, but she could say that you were cooperative and such.

Provide the worker with what you learned from the experiences, what is different now, why won't this happen again.

The SW will also assess your marriage, what is good about your marriage, strengths, how do you settle differences, what do you do together?

Have all forms and medical exams done ASAP....nothing irritates a social worker more than people who take up time and then stall on the paperwork!

Knowing what I know now, I'm more hopeful for you. The key will be proving that you guys were dumb kids and that you are not alcoholics, and that you are law abiding citizens. A good social worker should be able to do that.

You may be able to get your records expunged.....GET WORKING ON THAT...

There are many variables...the worker may say yes, her supervisor may say no, the supervisor may say yes, the state could still say no (not usually if the agency says yes but they are cracking down), the agency and state could agree and a judge (for adoption) could say no......or everyone could say yes.

Anyway, like I said, with this information I have more hope for you, but it could still be a long haul....or not. I wish I knew what state you were in.

I'm going to try and send you my email so you can ask me anything specific. Good luck!

EDIT: I can't send you my email and don't want to post it....but one more thing if and when you adopt you and your husband will have to have a designated person to care for the children if something happens to you, so you might want to work on that.

Agencies also look at financial status....you don't need to be rich (I have parents receiving assistance) but you have to be living in your means and meeting your obligations.

Answer 2

you need to check with your local adoption agency or family and services every state is different when it comes to adopting were i live if you have had a felony you cannot adopt but your state may be different good luck to you