I've been having an affair with a coworker for 11 years. I want him to finally leave his wife and choose me. What is the best way of doing this?
I'd appreciate answers only from women who know what I'm going through....
2007-01-27 14:02:18 · 22 answers · asked by Kady 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
get his wife to find out some how and then she will leave him and where does that leave him? with you. just dont let him know you where the one behind it all. on the other had she might not leave him they could be in love. i have a husband and if i found out his was with some one else i'd leave him
2007-01-27 14:07:24 · answer #1 · answered by boo_1313 2 · 1⤊ 6⤋
I'm sorry but that's really wrong. First of all I can't believe he's been cheating on her for 11 years and she's put up with it.. or has no clue that it's going on. But honestly, this guy is worthless. You knew what you were getting into. If he wanted to leave her for you, he would have done it long ago. He's taking advantage of the both of you.. And, if perhaps he did leave her for you.. what makes you think that he wouldn't do the same thing again? It's time for you to give up and work your way towards a real loving relationship with someone else.
2007-01-27 14:18:54 · answer #2 · answered by x__brand_new 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it hasn't happened by now, it probably won't.
Resolve yourself to that, and then tell him what you want and that until he decides he wants you as the one and only, you will not be seeing him, speaking with him, emailing him, etc...in other words, you're going to NO CONTACT.
Prepare yourself for a lot of emotional upheavals and tears - it can take up to three years or more (in some cases) to stop feeling as if you've abandoned the best thing that ever happened to you and get on with your life...but, it is the best thing you can do for yourself and for him.
Chances are good he's a Cakeman - has his cake and eats it too - and is happy staying that way....and down the road, when he can't have you and won't leave his wife because he's comfortable with being a cheating husband, he'll find another 'other woman'.
Find a good support group (look online!) and be strong! (((HUGS)))
2007-01-27 14:09:31 · answer #3 · answered by Johnna L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand that you are in love with this man, but I also think that deep down you know that it is wrong to have relations with a married man.
Sometimes love can blind us to what is right and wrong. You can't control how you feel about him, but you can control how you act upon it.
As others have said, he is not going to leave his wife for you, and would you really want him if he did? He cheated on her with you. What's to say he would not cheat on you with another woman, if he was married to you.
Do yourself a big favor and leave this man alone. You can't change the fact that you have committed adultery, but you can keep it from going on any further. Find a man who is not married, and pray that he will be faithful to you and you to him.
2007-01-27 14:25:03 · answer #4 · answered by Seldom Seen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let's see now you want a man who is married with a family to leave that and choose to live with a whore? Ten to one he'll say no. If you've had this affair for 11 years, he has no intentions of ever leaving his wife. You've simply been nothing more than his concubine, wasting your life.
2007-01-27 14:06:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
To be honest you are SOL what the hell makes you think he would leave her for you after all this time. You have put up with it for ELEVEN years. No offense but you will be lucky if he does not laugh in your face! Wow I dont know you but you deserve so much better, why would you put yourself into a situation like that? You should move on, he is not going to leave his wife and if he did, what makes you think he would not do the same **** to you that he did to her.
2007-01-27 14:08:35 · answer #6 · answered by *sexy mocha* 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
11 years? Women and men know what you are doing.
He aint leavin her for you because you already gave him all you have. Theres nothing left.
I think you are probably a little (lot) insecure based on something (looks?.....age?)
Just work on yourself and leave this alone. You will get approached eventually if you make yourself up and get involved in other things. Guys will always approach.
2007-01-27 14:06:32 · answer #7 · answered by Peter X. Long 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
WOW,
by the looks of things u r in a big trouble.
u know... he is cheatin on you all this time.
he goes home to his wife, cudle her, bring her gifts, etc..
and u is just gettin the ''stick... in the end... hes been cheattin on u 11 yrs already.
what is DAT U REALLY WANT?
open ur eyes LADY!
2007-01-27 14:24:26 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You had to know about this before you started or shortly after.
You chose to play the 2nd string then and play it for 11 years there is nothing you can do just dump him and get someone for yourself
2007-01-27 14:07:03 · answer #9 · answered by zen522 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
women who know what you going through.....that is so funny.
hes not leaving her.period.
if you ask get ready to be dumped.
he loves his wife not some who*re.
i am so blunt cause YOU ARE HAVING N AFFAIR WITH SOMEONE FOR 11 YEARS.
2007-01-27 14:06:39 · answer #10 · answered by The Brown Bomber 2 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Do what I did with my boyfriend who was having his cake and eating it too - dump him and get a life, and a man, of your own. If it's been eleven years, it's not going to happen. Ever.
2007-01-27 14:06:17 · answer #11 · answered by Bad Kitty! 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋