is this essay ok.. please read it.. someone. tell me your honest opinion..it it's written right n makes sense

Question

the topic is something interesting abou you..



To Be Shy Like Me
I’m (my name) and I am a shy. It’s not necessarily positive but it is pretty interesting.
Shyness is probably the main reason for my troubles. I can’t greet a stranger, have a good time at a party or even show affection to my loved ones. Shyness doesn’t come alone; it comes with lots of other characteristics. The worse thing about it is that it forces me to be something that I never wanted to be and that is lonesome.
My Shyness is interesting because it makes me unintentionally mysterious. It gives the attention I try to avoid.

your only allowed 100 words or less..

Answer 1

Good start now keep going......of how you can change this way about yourself , to get up and meet people and not be afraid* Why can you Not meet people? You don't want to or you don't know how to??

GoodLUcK*

Answer 2

I was terribly shy, but I never felt because of that being mysterious or interesting.

An essay should have a logical structure and a bit more content than what you write. But with 100 words that's hard...

Answer 3

I thought it was good. It get's to the point quickly. And it has a suprise at the end; gives me the attention I try to avoid.

I was extremely shy in school. I took up weightlifting and aerobics, stretching. Now I am the center of any party.

Answer 4

I think you have a good start. But its more like an outline. each section needs fleshing out. It is not the type of work a person wants to use their own imagination on, overly much.

Answer 5

It is a tricky situation but a few added words will do it: Also, the fact that Baba trusts and believes in Hassan more makes Amir jealous. As he says on page ___ "(I) wanted Baba all to myself" Hosseini 13) You put the word /I/ in brackets to show that the actual book does not say /I/ , (or does it??)

Answer 6

Shyness doesn’t come alone; it comes with lots of other characteristics.

what other characteristics?
maybe you should list a few?
(if being mysterious was your only example, try adding atleast one more?)

Answer 7

i love it, it sounds like me in a way. i just love how you have the last line as it gives the attenition i try to avoid. That makes me really think about what i am reading and it grabs attention. you'll have to email me the rest if you are going to add on to it.

Answer 8

Yea! it makes sense. But, you don't need to fret over what you r not capable of controlling. Don't worry, a lot of pple out there are like you. And i happen to be one of them. So keep your head up. You'll be fine.

Answer 9

I really like it, and the only mistake I saw was the word "worse" should be "worst"

Answer 10

very interesting, very good. A few punctuation errors. but good. Im shy too:)