Im having trouble understanding?

Question

any real thoughts on this would be great. ive been with my bf nearly 3 years now we r living together and i have a little girl who he has taken on as his own, about 2 weeks ago i found out i was pregnant we are both very happy about it, but when he was going out with the girl before me she thought she was pregnant and he went and brought wedding rings because they was going to get married because that was the right thing to do in his eyes, it turned out she wasnt she was just late. (they were together 18 months) i have been with him 3 years and im defenatly (excuse my spelling) pregnant took 3 tests before i told him and got it comfirmed at the doctors, yet he has said nothing about marrige or getting engaged or anythink. why do u think that is. does he not love me as much as her or does he just not want to marry me. any sussegtions comments anythink to try and make me understand just a bit better would be very grateful

Answer 1

First off congratulations! Second, maybe he hasn't said anything about marriage because of what happened before. You said he was ready to marry the other girl because he thought she was pregnant. Maybe he's just waiting to see for sure if you are. Of course, you know you are but maybe he just needs time. If you are worried about it, ask him how he feels about getting married. It wouldn't hurt. Good luck.

Answer 2

In the three years you've been together, has the subject of marriage between the two of you been brought up? Does he know how you are feeling about getting married? There could be a number of reasons he is not going the same route with you. She was a completely different person. Maybe she pressured him, or hinted a lot that he should take the high road, where you may be more subtle and not wanting to him to feel so obligated. Maybe he is feeling financially stressed and wants to wait until after you deliver. You know him better than I do, so the best solution is to sit down with him and start out by asking where he sees the future with you. A good way to start is to ask, "Do you want our son/daughter to have your last name, or mine, and does this mean you want to get married. If not, what are your feelings about raising a child without being married? Is that how you felt with your ex? How are you different now than how you were then?" Trust me. Ask all these questions because it will improve your level of communication altogether. Don't wait til your hormones are raging, and you burst into tears while accusing him of not loving you enough. Be realistic. And be heard. Good luck.

Answer 3

I don't think that its not cause he doesn't love you , marriage is a big step and maybe he is feeling different since his last relationship went sour on her being pregnant i understand that you definitely have it confirmed but how long has it been since you told him he might just need some time ? You can also talk to him about how you are feeling to .
Now when it comes to marriage just cause its the right thing to do I feel that its all wrong I got pregnant and was told to do the right thing and I look back and I think to my self what kind of person was I WOW I know better now . Marriage is about commitment not the convenience cause its the right thing to do its about spending the rest of your life with that person , please make sure that this is that right person and marry him cause he is your best friend and because you love him not because you are pregnant

god bless and gl to you and I hope you have a healthy baby

Answer 4

If he wanted to marry you - he would have! Baby or not, he would have taken that step. If you have been with him for that long and he has shown no intrest in marrying you, why are you still with him? He's obviously happy having the cow and milk for free. Why would he commit to you and marry you when he's already getting all the benefits of a family and wife - without a lifetime commitment? It's a good deal for him! You need to sit down and have a serious talk. If you are mature enough to have a baby together - he should be committing to something more then just being your roommate.

Answer 5

He has probably matured since the last time. He has realised that getting married because it's the right thing to do is not the answer. I don't think he loves you less than her, if anything he loves you more. He's in a real relationship not just going through the motions of what he thinks society expects of him.

Congratulations on the new baby.

Answer 6

You should probably ask him. No one here is going to be able to shed light on what's going through his mind.

However, when you bring it up with him, don't use the word 'marriage' and try to keep the conversation away from that topic. Just say something like, "I'm concerned about the fact that you have reacted to these two situations differently. Can you help me to understand why?". As most women know, bringing up marriage in these contexts just scares men. So try to keep the conversation focused on how he's feeling about your relationship and the baby.

Congratulations on the pregnancy and best of luck with this situation.

Indie

Answer 7

I thoroughly experience a similar. i'm bi, however the assumption of having 2 relationships on a similar does not look good to me the two. If I fall in love with a guy, I fall in love with a guy, if I fall in love with a female, then I fall in love with a female, yet i'm distinctly specific I won't locate myself yearning a relationship with the different intercourse on a similar time. i think of people who experience they want the two it is by technique of the fact they see themselves as getting something distinctive from a relationship with a guy or a relationship female and hence can't get an entire passable equipment in the event that they form a relationship with only one or the different. It does nonetheless annoy me each and every so often in that they do look encouraging the parable that we are all only grasping!!! yet you be attentive to, if everyone's happy and open approximately it, despite floats your boat!

Answer 8

At the time he thought it was the "morally" right thing to do, but as you said he's had three years of "growing up" that he's done since his last girlfriend before you. He probably just realizes that he doesn't have to marry you to love you. If he's still there...count your blessings ring or no ring, because a man who wishes to be active in your child's life is one you want to hold on to. :D

Answer 9

hi''''',...i don't know if i have the right to say these to you,,,but its for your own good... first is that your by might having difficulties in choosing you and between that girl you said....maybe he fell in love with her and he is stupid enough to to leave you hanging, you're pregnant and he should supposed make an effort to make you feel more happier....,not just leave you with these girl pretending to pregnant......you have to make a choice to its either you'll continue your relationship with these guy or move on with your life and find someone much more better than him.....,yes your pregnant and his the father....but the question is those he really love to with you, is he still happy when your together.... and pray to the Lord that he'll give you straight to go thru all of these trials and pray for wisdom in having your right decisions.......God Bless always........

Answer 10

To get married for that reason is wrong, also he may feel that he has been taken for a ride once and does not want to be taken again.
Why not ask HIM about it and see how HE feels. You know he just might feel insecure about it all.