My sister dated this guy for about two years and he used to beat her alot. She left him before Christmas 2006 but I think she is sneaking off to see him again and she came home the other day with a black eye. Is there anything I can do? We have a restraining order against him but it obviously isn't helping. Please help.
2007-01-27 13:16:45 · 24 answers · asked by lockheartpurple 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sit down and talk to her. Say that you don't want her to keep getting hurt. And that she might not ever get out of the relationship if she doesn't end it now.
2007-01-27 13:20:59 · answer #1 · answered by Lulu 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Counseling is the best.
It's typical of many abused women to go back to the abusive partners. Due to the long time abuse they think they don't deserve and cannot have a better and normal relationship and partner. They think this what is normal for them and no normal partner would accept them, this develop the fear of being alone forever and going back to the abusive partner as the only way to get some of the life everyone else is getting. Some also think this abuse and beating is the price they pay for being not normal and for having some of the life.
So counseling is the best and possibly there is something wrong with her brain neurotransmitters they are the main reasons for depressions and other wrong behaviors and misconceptions.
2007-01-27 21:29:53 · answer #2 · answered by M. Shaaban 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that youre in a tight spot because as we know luv is blind.But I guess youre choices depend on the type of person you are.Any man that stoops to a level of physical abuse to a woman is a man that needs help.If possible the #1 thing to do and trust me this works. Call, write or find some way and tell his mother no matter how old he is. A mother's wrath is more powerful than a restraining order.And no mother will tolerate such behaveor exspecially from her son. It sounds awkward but I would do it for my sister.
2007-01-27 21:36:57 · answer #3 · answered by maluvsbluecarnations 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The restraining order isn't going to do a bit of good as long as she sneaks off to see the guy. Aside from tying her down or locking her in her room, there's not much you >can< do to stop her. She is suffering from an addictive behavior, and she's the only one that can stop the pattern. It's sad, why women feel any degree of gratification by getting the crap beat out of them. If they chose to go back, then I say, she deserves what she has coming to her. It's cold, I know .. but, she chooses to go back, she chooses to be with the jerk, there isn't a law in this country that will back her up, as long as she consents to be in his presence.
2007-01-27 21:23:52 · answer #4 · answered by restless_nymph 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The restraining order won't "help" unless someone reports him for violating it. You CAN do that.
Other than that, there's nothing you can do about your sister. She has to get to the point where she can make the decision to break it off completely. That's hard on you and the family, but you can't make her do anything she doesn't want to do. I hope she survives this guy.
2007-01-27 21:21:10 · answer #5 · answered by Bad Kitty! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I survived an abusive relationship and many times went back. I don't understand why either. My family was very supportive but I know they became very frustrated with me. They never turned their back on me though and eventually I realized I had to really get away. Just pray for your sister and be there when its over. If he comes near your home though, definately call the police. He will try everything he can to get her to turn against you all. Try not to confront her because it will only make her more secretive. My prayers will be with you and your family. I hope she sees soon how destructive this person is. Leesa
2007-01-27 21:24:41 · answer #6 · answered by mike j 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do is to be supportive. It appears that she is not ready to give up on the boyfriend. Stay in constant contact with her and talk to her about the dangers of abusive relationships. Give her the telephone number to your nearest battered women's shelter. Also, give her a cellphone that he does not she has so she can use it to call 9/11 if she ever needs to. (In many states it does not have to be activated, just charged up).
2007-01-27 21:24:52 · answer #7 · answered by Ti 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's ashame but honestly and truly there is nothing you can do but be a good sister and listen... It sucks sooo bad but the more you try to push her to leave the more she'll probably go against you and it could ruin your relationship w/her...
I know it hurts to sit and watch someone u love be abused, been there but the very BEST answer is to try to be supportive and eventually she'll come to see her boyfriend for what and who he really is and we both know the answer to that.. hope this helps !!
2007-01-27 21:20:22 · answer #8 · answered by sunny 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You can't do anything. Be open and kind to your sister. She will need you later. If she thinks you are judging her, she may not ask for help because she thinks you will say I Told You So. If she is a minor, tell your parents. She needs counseling, but it will only help if she wants help and realizes she has a problem.
2007-01-27 21:26:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your sister an adult? If she is, there is unfortunately, not a lot that you can do. Short of being able to prove that he is violating the tenets of his restraining order, legally you have no action. You have no control over your sister & her poor choices -- just tell her that you love her & that you are there for her... once she leaves this loser.
I wish her luck.
2007-01-27 21:22:05 · answer #10 · answered by Diet Coke Lover 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Restraining orders can be broke especially if she has contacted him and is seeing him no court of law will enforce it if your sister is back in a relationship with him.
2007-01-27 21:20:44 · answer #11 · answered by Denny O 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋