okay.. so i went out to dinner with some friends tonight, and i've LOVED my best friend since i was like 14, and he knows, but my friends that are his friends too say he's always liked me but was too shy.. and he's REALLY hot.. but he's kinda shy around girls, and hadn't had many girlfriends.. many girls like him though.. so now my bffl [whos a girl].. decides she's "in love" with him even though she knows i've like loved him for a while.. and i mean love.. but i don't think she does.. because how could you fall in love in a matter of a few days?? i mean come on.. so now she's like all over him, and i don't even know what to do.. i don't wanna look desperate and obnoxious by having all the attention on me.. so i'm not gonna do that... but i'm afraid he's gonna start to like her.. and i know if he does, i should feel happy for her.. but just the thought of it makes me feel SOOO hurt... i kinda feel like he's forgetting that i love/am best friends with him.. she's like taking him over
2007-01-27 13:06:00 · 11 answers · asked by beach blondie xox 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i'm almost 17..like ughh i'm just so like torn right now.. i really need advice.. but i can't really talk to anyone, because i don't wanna keep things from my best friend.. AHH i know it's complicated, so thanks for reading.. but what do i do!!?!
2007-01-27 13:06:37 · update #1
It's puppy love and not real love. Why is it that all teenagers think they must have a boyfriend or girlfriend? You need to complete your education, enjoy life and have a good time without tying yourself to one person. Wait until you're out of your teens and everything will fall into place with the opposite sex.
2007-01-27 13:15:16 · answer #1 · answered by notadeadbeat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, I'm telling you right off that you are going to hate what I have to say...but I want you to take into consideration that I am a mom of a girl your age, and she has come to me before with the exact same problem...and I'm going to tell you exactly what I told her...
At your age, most of you fall in and out of what you consider "love" every other week. So quite frankly, your friend could have easily developed some type of strong feelings for your male friend...that is what your teenage raging hormones do.
Regarding you, okay, this is going to hurt...but your male friend, the one you feel you are in "love" with. Has already made the choice of what your realtionship is going to be with him...a friend. It has nothing to do with being shy, or not having many girlfriends as to why he hasn't chosen to return your same feelings. He just DOESN'T feel the same way, and never will. He values you as a friend...and it is a tough pill to swallow but you really have to wrap your mind and heart around that fact and move on.
Due to being hung up on a guy who doesn't share the same feelings, you are probably missing out on opportunities with other guys...and at your age, you should be dating..as that is what helps you figure out what you want for your future.
At 17, you are just starting into the wonderful (and painful) world of dating...you have a good 10-20 years more of experiences ahead of you. This guy won't be the only person you ever have feelings for (as hard as that is to conceive right now)
You don't own this male friend, so you can't treat him like territory, he is free to date and associate with whom he pleases, and that may inclued your friend. He doesn't answer to your friendship first...just because you want him to treat you as more important due to your feelings for him...you can't expect it, or demand it.
My advice to you is to work on being a better FRIEND to him. Because that is what you are...a friend. Nothing more. And that means supporting him with anything that happens in his life. Even if he develops feelings for your friend...
this is not a gut wrenching life ending experience, it's just life...and sometimes it sucks...but he is the first of many guys you are going to have feelings for...don't let it get the best of you...there is a lot more to your life, so don't let a relationhip you don't even have....get the best of you.
2007-01-27 13:34:13 · answer #2 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell this guy how you feel about him and ask him if he likes the girl or not.
If they start going out with each other I'd dump them both as friends because your friend (girl) is very wrong for doing that knowing that you like or LOVE this guy. With friends like that who needs enemies?
2007-01-27 13:21:48 · answer #3 · answered by K-E-G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be really honest with you, if he "loved" you in that way he would have let you know or made a move by now.
He will gravitate towards whomever he has those kinds of feeling for. You can't make someone love you, and by you I mean either your or your friend who is also a girl.
Neither one of you controls his feelings or actions. Only he does.
2007-01-27 13:14:03 · answer #4 · answered by BoomChikkaBoom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been in your shoes before. And all I can say is..you really need to tell him how you feel. Otherwise that ship might sail. I know it's a scary concept, but in life sometimes you have to take risks for something that means alot to you.
2007-01-27 13:11:54 · answer #5 · answered by JustMe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know he likes you make a move before she does.Have some confidence.Plus if she knows you like him she needs to back off because she's your bestie and that's what best friends do.if she gets mad she's probably not a very good friend.If you like him take a risk,it's worth it.
2007-01-27 13:13:55 · answer #6 · answered by LO 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea well i mean its up to him, if i were you i'd do the same as your friend, be all over the guy. but you cant hold it against him if he chooses her or some one else, i mean you love him of course its hard to see your friend like him mainly fo rthe reason that you love him, but like i said do what your friend is doing, be all on top of him then he chooses who he chooses
2007-01-27 13:17:29 · answer #7 · answered by hatebreed55555 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry!it hurts you to see this,but,the good news is if he really cares for you he will not bother the other girl. why don`t you play the game,go after him,see who he likes best.
2007-01-27 13:14:53 · answer #8 · answered by julie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first talk to your friend. just ask her if she really likes him and explain to her how much he means to you and maybe she'll back off. then talk to the guy. tell him wat's going on and just go with it from there
2007-01-27 13:13:00 · answer #9 · answered by snorfgoogle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Swallow whatever fear you have, and simply just tell him. Be blunt. Either that, or let your "Friend" take him. Don't crave attention. Get it upfront, and it'll be easy.
2007-01-27 13:12:00 · answer #10 · answered by StreetPunk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋