I went through a couple foster homes then I got adopted. I never got along w/ this "dad". He was always mean to me and my brothers. My mom was nice though.
I never really had anything.. friends, a good education, good clothes.. anything.
I just want to be a happy strong person.. but i'm not.
My parents said they're counting the days still i'm 18. I've never had a b-day party.. and the friends I do have i'm losing b/c I never get to see them other than at school.
I tried getting good grades and staying out of trouble for my parents.. but everything I did was never good enough.
They wont even let me get a job or licence till i'm 18.
Me and my mom usually got along and she told me today she couldn't wait until I was 18 and moved out.
I feel so unloved. I feel like I have no hope. My bestfriend/ex is living w/ his new girlfriend and she hates me too. I'm always nice to everyone. What did I ever do wrong??? Someone please tell me..
2007-01-27 12:59:58 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Thanks.
My b-days in Feb actually.
only 15 though.
i can relate to a lot of these storys too..
& i live in wisconsin.
everyone helped a lot.
thanks.
2007-01-27 13:22:52 · update #1
I am so sorry. I also know a little bit what this feels like. My parents were abusive and after I got married I never contacted them.It has been 4 years with out my family. It sucks having no family. Well I have a husband now... but anyway.
Don't give up. Things will get better. My parents didn't really love me but I am sure there are other people out there that trully care about you adn you dont realize it. Also, since I have no family and you also don't maybe we can get together on holidays and you can be my sister? SERIOUS!
Where do you live?
Also, I never saw my friends except for at school and that is very hard. Do you have a school counselor you can talk to?
If you ever need to talk email me and let me know where you live.
2007-01-27 13:26:58 · answer #1 · answered by tina*21 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for you--I went through that and I wasn't even in foster care-my parents div when I was 8 and my dad was an alcoholic so I was with my mom. I went to 11 diff schools and finally felt okay in one and mom chose to move away. I couldn't handle yet another change in schools as I was shy so moved in with my aunt and uncle who lived in the school district where I wanted to stay--I will never forget overhearing my uncle say "Why do we have to take her-- her mom and dad don't even want her"
which was true--it is so hard I know.
You haven't done anything wrong--I am a great person and you are too feeling unwanted/unloved will harm all your relationships. You need to love yourself and find friends who love you--you are almost 18 so you can move out and get on with your life--but it hard being alone. I got preg at 17 because I thought I would finally have someone who loved me--she is a great girl now--17 herself--but please don't go that road. I also had sex with a lot of guys to try and find that love and that was also a huge mistake. I than got married to the first man whom asked me to get out and that didn't work.
I am now div with 4 kids--my last was with my ex-fiancee who left me when I was pregnant. I now have 4 kids alone--17, 11, 9 , and 5 months.
Don't fall into the pitfall like you aren't "good enough" because someone tells you or because of your feelings about you --"Believe in Yourself" You are good enough on your own. It took me til I was 35 to realize this. Where do you live? I may be able to help you out.
2007-01-27 13:12:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
oh honey... life is evil it really is its hard to get through it sometimes but there is always light at the end of the tunnel it may take a while but some day youll be happy. dont you worry about makeing all of those other people happy all you have to do is make yourself happy everyone else can go to hell. you go to school and get the best damn grades you can get and you go to college and be the best person you can be. you havent done anything wrong and there is nothing wrong with you some people just get **** on the by world more than other people do and if it would help you can start writing. ive found that when i think the world is against me that writing always makes me feel better. it doesnt matter what you write just write whats in your heart and itwould probably be best if you hid it being the way the family situation is. i wish you the best in the world and i hope everything gets better.
2007-01-27 13:14:14 · answer #3 · answered by Morganna 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well maybe what you did is get angry about every little thing. I can tell that each one of these things mad you unhappy, and it just made you more unhappy when you had to deal with the next thing.
My dad loves me i know, and im sure yours does too. its just sometimes you can't see it, I could tell that my dad loved my brother a lot more one time when he was a lot smarter, interested in what my dad was interested in, and he knew about more stuff.
Don't worry about people- people do stupid things. this is most likely just a one time thing, and it won't happen again until a while. you can't help it if there are a few people (out of billions) in the world that dont like you. just find someone else. I'm still looking.
It's great that your parents are setting some limits for you- it shows you that they care. My mom once just let everything go and she didn't care about anything. I was happy to be free, but she didn't care about me anymore.
and if your mom says that she cant wait to move out, say you can't either! im sure itll be great.
to tell u the truth i haven't had a birthday party with my friends in a about 5 years... but u dont need friends- its not their birthday...
im also the cheapest kid i guess.. my parents spend a lot more money on my other siblings, buying them $250 gifts... i didn't even know they had that kinda money. but i get all the cheap stuff still...
Ive had time like this too- all my sibling were mad at me, my mom got frustrated, my dad thought my bro was better than me, and I didn't really have any good friends. but I kept thinking and I realized that it was my attitude. Since I was so mad about the friends, I came home mad, and messed stuff up which made my mom mad, and my dad mad because my bro was doing better in school. and when my siblings made fun of me when i got into trouble i got mad at them, and I kept a bad attitude for a long while, until i finally cheered up.
I hope you can too :)
oh yeah and happy almost birthday! mines in february too. only its kinda early
2007-01-27 13:24:15 · answer #4 · answered by skateKad47 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get your attitude UP. Therefore, no matter what happens that is bad, it will not affect you in any way.
The most effective way to feel good ever day is to aerobic exercises every day. The easiest and most effective way to do this is The Step. You can buy it at Walmart. Or if money is tight, buy a concrete construction block at Home Depot.
Place it by your bed. Before you go to bed, step up and down 20 times. When you wake up, step up and down 20 times. This will speed up your metabolism, which will make positive emotions increase in your brain. YOU WILL FEEL BETTER.
I had parents. And so did my wife (our son is adopted). When we both turned 18, we had to get out! of our parents house. It was tough for both of us. We went to college, at age 21, 1 class per semester, 4 classes per year. Took us 9 years to finish. We have been married now for 30 years.
Age 18 is the beginning of a very long life. You can change all the mistakes that were made in your past. And PS, when you get older, be sure to adopt someone to give them the better life they need, too.
2007-01-27 13:17:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm going through something so amazingly similar...and you didn't do anything wrong. All this probably seems like hell right now, and maybe even impossible to live through, but don't give up. My life is almost the same way, not including being raped and molested for 6 yrs by one of my cousins. If your almost 18, then soon this will be over. But it sucks for me being only 15. Just try talk to someone you trust and don't think about all the bad things going on. Think about some of the positive and this'll all be over with. Good Luck!
2007-01-27 13:08:43 · answer #6 · answered by Boriqua Bella 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie baby I'm with you now. My life hasn't been a piece of cake either. Lots of ill-treatment from parents during my whole life. You may need therapy or a real spiritual inner change.
Please write me privately to share my email, we can be friends and I want to help you. Believe me, right now I'm 30, I still feel and look young, feel like in my 25s, but I have really walked through, survived such conditions in life and put together the broken pieces of my self.
However I can tell you this in advance: experiences in life help you make richer inside and more sensitive.
Put this in your mind: every, every single human being is loved fully by GOD. Every person has the right to BE.
It's not your fault, it's your parents who aren't able of loving.
Don't feel guilty about anything and don't blame anyone, things just happen and teach us lessons.
Read beautiful things that warm your heart.
Remember also that you are a teen and those are sometimes hard times.
Feel loved by... ME.
2007-01-27 13:20:24 · answer #7 · answered by Clara 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi, Hilary!
How'd losing 80 pounds go? If you are still battling it, look up 'systemic candidiasis'.
Have seen that your answers show a great deal of maturity and wisdom, so I really think you'll be fine. You're smart and young, and you write well. You're just down right now, and anyone who had just been hurt would be down. I'd be more worried about you if you internalized the pain and didn't work through it.
It's not what you did wrong. It just IS. And things change. So hang in there, bide your time, and PREPARE for when you can fly with eagles. Believe me, your chance will come. Best of luck.
2007-01-27 13:05:04 · answer #8 · answered by Dorothy and Toto 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OOps! Another one of us! I just gotta tell you that people aren't all they are cracked up to be. Sad facts are, most want something from you, don't care what you are. We're a pretty self-centered species. Even if your Mom and Dad had been married all your life, you'd still have "good girl" problems. The two conditions aren't really related. I'm a guy that's always been single, not rich, smart and never celebrate holidays. Its not as bad as it feels, there are a lot of things you can do. And you're welcome to check out my 360 page. Yeah, I'm 50, an old man by now, but hey, loneliness is everywhere.
2007-01-27 13:11:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Look on the bright side, when you are 18 you can find your own family. Do yourself a favor and get a good job. If you can't go to college, why don't you become a court reporter. A friend of mine became a court reporter and makes 90k a year. Don't let those people tear you apart and don't feel sorry for yourself. Be like Oprah, take those hardships and use them as determination to make yourself a whopping success--that's the best revenge. The best of luck.
2007-01-27 13:08:59 · answer #10 · answered by darkdiva 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋