My wedding plans with my fiancee keep changing, mainly because there is so much going on in our families this year. Initially, we were supposed to go to city hall with our parents this November and then have a bigger ceremony in a year. But, my brother, who is in Iraq, will be coming home in April and we're not sure when he'll be back again. I want him to be there to see me get married, so my fiancee and I decided to move the city hall wedding up to April. However, his parents won't be able to join us. They live in the south and their daughter is having a baby around that same time. So, to include them in our plans, we are planning to fly out and stay with them the weekend we get married. Do you think they will be upset that they weren't at the ceremony even though it is only at city hall?
I should add that we are no longer having the second ceremony because my fiancee thinks it will be a waste of money since we will already be married and we are on a very tight budget.
2007-01-27 12:49:34 · 9 answers · asked by Galoshes 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
We will get a hotel room if the baby comes at that point, though they do not actually live with the baby and may not have a problem with us being there. They always tell us that when we come down, we can stay with them. Though of course, we would be considerate and offer to go stay in a hotel if the baby was born while we were there.
2007-01-27 12:58:26 · update #1
I don't want to wait because I don't want to risk my brother not coming home at all - either because his homecoming is delayed for a long period of time (which is a possibility considering the call for more troops) or something worse.
2007-01-27 13:00:01 · update #2
I have talked to my fiancee about all of this - I wouldn't make a decision on my own. He understands that it is important to me to have my brother there and that the date he is coming home is unknown - it could be this year or next year and we don't want to have a 2 year engagement! My fiancee likes the idea of going down south to see his parents and knows that they can't afford to come up and see us and wouldn't want to since the baby will be coming.
2007-01-27 13:28:20 · update #3
It all sounds reasonable, except the part about staying with them when the baby comes. I think they'll have their hands full.
2007-01-27 12:53:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I do think they will be upset. They may not tell, you, but yes. They will care. And that is no way to start off a relationship with in-laws or your husband. It's his wedding too - and in his effort to please you, he may keep quiet on what he REALLY wants.
It does sound as if you are placing more importance on your brother than on the parents of the groom. I understand your emotional concern - especially considering the danger that he is in - but to tell you the truth - I'd be devastated if my child got married without me, especially when plans had been made that I was going to be there, then changed for someone else!
You might want to sit down with everyone, lay out your problem, then get them involved in the solution. That way no one can be mad.
Can you all fly to the south and be married there? With your brother? A small destination wedding? That way his parents, and even mom-to-be sister can be present as well. That would be my first choice given this situation. You can get married in City Hall in in the south as easy as in your hometown.
Seems like if you are moving things to accommodate your brother, you should be flexible enough to accommodate them as well. It just doesn't seem quite fair.
Then you can have a larger reception later with extended family and friends.
2007-01-27 22:34:14 · answer #2 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have your wedding when you want! Who do you want there most? Once that is decided then you have your answer. Is your brother being there the most important and then you could send a video and photos to his family, or could you do it the other way and send the bideo and pics to your brother? Either way, it's up to you and your fiance! This is a day for the two of you, and you shouldn't be worried over pleasing everyone else in the process! That is what pictures and videos are for!
Good luck and enjoy this time! And hope your brother is safe!
2007-01-27 21:14:41 · answer #3 · answered by jen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to city hall with any family members who can be there when your brother is home and plan to spend time with his parents and his sister as soon as you can after the ceremony...the new baby will be a special time for them too and it sounds loving for everyone to have such a special time at the same time of the year
2007-01-27 23:52:30 · answer #4 · answered by Library Eyes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your wedding...it's the one day you both will remember forever. Do it whenever & however you want! Whoever will be there will & whoever won't, won't. My husband & started out planning our wedding the way everyone else wanted & then decided that didn't make us happy. We ended up getting married out of town & no one but our friends came. We had a fantastic time & have no regrets. We always think back on it fondly.
2007-01-27 20:55:52 · answer #5 · answered by itsjustchris1968 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a mother, I would be upset if I couldn't be there to witness my child's marriage. Consider your fiance's feelings - after all, these are his parents.
2007-01-27 21:24:31 · answer #6 · answered by weddingqueen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why not wait until the begining of next year and all the focus will be on you not everything else
2007-01-27 21:24:42 · answer #7 · answered by baby number two on the way 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN!!!!! it is your wedding not theirs be strong you won't be able to make everyone happy focus on yourself
2007-01-31 15:11:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HMMM WEIRD SITUATION ALL ROUND. wHY NOT WAIT ALL TOGETHER.
2007-01-27 20:54:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋