Would you be mean to your own sister if you felt that she does not pay enough attention to your children?

Question

My sister will not talk with me because I only visit her children once or twice a year. I live far away and have to take a plane to get to her state. She never comes to visit me.

Answer 1

This is a tough one. I am in a similar spot, but I am wearing your sister's shoes. I have a child and I have two sisters who both live within 15 miles of us who NEVER come to see my kid.

It takes an act of Congress for either sister to come see a school play or a baseball game. Neither of them buy fundraisers and on gift giving occassions, they are usually both conveniently broke.

One sister is chronically unemployed...so it's half way understandable. The other sister will at least get a little gift.

I figure they don't have kids and don't know how important having an active Aunt is in a kid's life. Does this hurt me? Unbelieveably so. I can't even think about it without getting upset. And yes, I am mad at them for being crappy Aunts.

But I would never cut them off or not talk to them. I do take the opportunity to remind them how disappointed I am in them. They always come back with an excuse about how they don't have money or time.

I dismiss that kind of excuse because I have a house, a car payment, bills and a kid but I manage.

In your case....if it requires a plane to get to your sister, it would cost your sister a small fortune to fly herself and her kids to you. If you can't afford to get there, explain to your sis that you would like to see her and do something fun with the kids but you can't afford to get there. Then ask if she could help you pay the airfare.

I would GLADLY give my sisters the cash if they would just spend an afternoon with my kid and go out to eat and do something fun.

Good luck.

Answer 2

She may just be really missing you. Of course it is probably harder and more expensive for her to travel with her children but you should bring up the idea of her coming to visit you sometime. She will probably just give excuses why she can't but it's worth a try. If nothing else maybe she could help you with your travel expenses so you can come see her.

Answer 3

i wouldn't worry too much about it. there may be an explanation, like the fact that she might not be able to afford coming over. you should probably check to make sure, and if u feel comfortable doing it, ask her.
you should start something with her, like get a phone number and call her once a week. im sure youll be better families if you see her more often.
Sometimes people won't visit because they don't feel welcomed or safe. make sure everythings ok when you see them. it might make them more comfortable around you.