Parenting Licence?

Question

How many people out there think that expecting parents should attend parenting classes? Not the regular classes they have now, but like actually classes that give you a licence to be a parent? Why I ask is because I recently met a lady who has a little boy who is 7 months and she is not a very good mother. She yells at her baby all the time, she swears around him, smokes around him, leaves him wet diapers for long periods of times, and hes always dirty looking. The worst part is, she has no idea what he wants when he crys, she doesn't know if hes crying for food. My little one is 4 months and I can tell when shes crying for food, or crying cause shes just really tired, I know her crys. I think 7 months a mother should be able to tell the difference. Shes not being physically abusive to him but I really think she has no idea how to be a mom.

I have only met her in the mall on walks, and got a pretty clear answer that shes not very well with her son, but I just don't know her well enough to give her advice, or tell her where to go to get some help. I really think people like this should have to have a parenting course before giving birth. I mean she has no bond with her kid, its like she doesn't care about him.

Answer 1

What you suggest is a wonderful idea but it will never happen. It infringes on what people think is their RIGHT to procreate. They think that anyone should be able to have a baby and basically do what ever they want as long as it is not abusive.
I have for many years thought that having a baby should be a privilege and not a right. But, I am in the minority.
It does sound like the baby you speak of is being neglected if not actually abused. If I were you I would report the situation to CPS. When you make a report it is confidential, she will not know where it came from. If her behavior is as you say it is then I am sure that others have noticed also.
That poor little baby of hers needs someone to speak up for him!
Do the right thing.
Blessings
Lady Trinity~

Answer 2

it sounds like she doens't have an idea of how to be a good mom and isn't bonding with her baby. My boyfriend's grandson is 8 months old and even though we don't have him all the time, maybe a weekend or a few days every couple of weeks I know his cries already and can tell exactly what he wants, while his 19 year old mother can't tell what he wants and he is with her almost every day. Neglect is a form of child abuse, so if you know who she is, call it in to CPS and let them decide if the child is in danger. It is better make the phone call and nothing come of it than not make the call and the child end up severely abused or dead. If she is not bonding with him at 7 months and is yelling and stuff, you can probably bet that she will be spanking him soon and it might escalate from there. But yes, I think people should have to take classes and be licensed to be parents, that would prevent the millions of abused and neglected children in the world right now.

Answer 3

Call the child protection agency in your area. Yelling at a child, especially at 7 months of age is abuse. Not changing the diaper for long periods of time is neglect. Since she doesn't care for this child, you might want to consider being this child's advocate and doing what you can to protect him\her. At this point you shouldn't care about the mom. Once CPS gets ahold of her, she might think twice about what she's doing and want to change for the better. If you do nothing, then this child has noone and no hope. Good luck.

Answer 4

As much as there are terrible parents in the world, there should never be a "license" to parent. People would abuse it. I forsee a future when rich people get all the licenses and poor people don't. It would be used to "weed out" classes, races, economic backgrounds. It would turn into a terrible thing.

There are going to be terrible parents in the world. We do have resources for when terrible parenting turns into abuse. It's not the greatest system, but it's something.

We just have to be thankful that most parents aren't like that and vow to be good parents ourselves.

Answer 5

i know someone just like that. i know a few people like that. unfortunatly there's not much you can do. if you think she is being so neglectful that its harmful you could anonymously call children's protective services. they will check on her and decide themselves. other than that you could bring up in conversation how you take care of your baby. give her tips. she might not have been raised with a good mother to teach her to be a mother. i know thats how i learned, my mom.

Answer 6

It sounds like she is neglecting her child. If she doesn't change him and yells at him that is horrible. Are you sure she isn't suffering from postpartum depression?

Not knowing your babies cries isn't a sign that you are a bad mother. I didn't know the difference in my babies cries and I am the best mom I know!

Answer 7

it's very difficult to see, i know, it is clearly abuse, my only suggestion to you if you were willing, ask her to your home, spend time with her, let her see how you do things, if she should swear in your home politely tell her it's not allowed in your home near your children, but just being around you will help so much, maybe she is only surrounded by idiots, you could help that baby just by being an example

Answer 8

Maybe she doesnt care about him. Maybe she doesnt care about herself. Sounds like both statements could be very true. Maybe you could help her. Sounds like you know what to do and how to do it.

Answer 9

Actually I think people should have their dna checked for defects, and they should be given intelligence tests to determine I.Q. and common sense abilities.