I've been in a relationship with a married man for 5 yrs. We a madly in love. He loves me so much he encourages me to do better and give me advice. He's older than I, but I've made it up in my mind that he's the one for me.
2007-01-27 12:14:33 · 48 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
not to cool to. but 5 years. how is any body going to stop you. no matter what anybody tells you you wont listen. so you 2 have a good life
2007-01-27 12:21:04 · answer #1 · answered by freeman3905@sbcglobal.net 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe it's wrong, but more importantly, I believe you are wasting your precious life on this man.
I think he's taking advanatage of you Dear. If he were madly in love with you, he wouldn't still have a wife. I know every extramarital couple thinks that they have extenuating cirmcumstances...but what is his reason for not divorcing his wife, if he loves you like he's led you to believe?
Kids at home? Nope...people with kids divorce all the time. Money? If he needed to pay child support, he'd find a way---IF he really loved you.
Please move on from this disfunctional relationship, and look for someone you can build a future with.
2007-01-27 12:27:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends sweetie. I don't agree with the others. Morally, after 5 years you're not doing wrong to the family and wife. That was an issue when the relationship began. Then you should have thought about it and not gotten involved with him. But now you did...
The problem now is you and your life. If he loves you he should divorce. But only you know all the details of this relationship and everything involved. Don't think he's using you, you seem very sure that he loves you.
I wouldn't get involved with a married man under no circumstance, but if you're already for 5 ys. just seems like time to push him for divorce. Else I would start suspecting.
2007-01-27 12:29:01 · answer #3 · answered by Clara 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Firstly, I answer this will no judgement or guilt. You cannot help whom you fall in love with and you two might have something genuine and amazing happening. Stuff happens and some folks on here are too high and mighty with their replies.
From the tone of your question you seem sure that this man 'is the one'. To me that suggests you expect him to leave his wife and be with you.
This is a tricky situation my friend. This man could indeed love you and end up leaving his partner (and/or family) for you, but he might not too. After all - it has been 5 years and you are still playing second fiddle to his wife.
How are you going to cope if he says he loves you (which he probably does) but isn't going to break up his family (which comes at an enormous social and economic cost)?
Guys often tell women what they want to hear, rather than what the situation really is.
Also you might want to ask yourself how his wife feels about all of this. I don't mean in a 'guilt' way, but more along the lines of "is she happy in the relationship?", does she even know you exist.
If you want a good grip on status of the relationship you probably need to talk to his wife. At least she will be honest with you, even if she may despise you.
If his wife is not happy her relationship and is going to break it off then you might get your man. Otherwise you might just have to be prepared to by Girl #2. Are you ok with that?
2007-01-27 12:25:51 · answer #4 · answered by darklydrawl 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hunny let me tell you from experience that being with a married man only leads to heart ache, believe me ive made that mistake. Ive been with 2 of them actually! They will never leave there wife for you if he did want to leave his wife then he would after 5yrs!!! i mean come on sweetie, yes i know he encourages you to do better but what is he really sayin? even if he did get a wild hair up his butt and leave his wife what kinda man do u think he is? dont u think that he is going to cheat on you also? I wouldnt go into a relationship knowing that he has cheated on his past lovers and his wife!
2007-01-27 12:20:45 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Ashley♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, let's see here. You are madly in love.... so that is why he is still married to his wife. So a guy who cheats on his wife for 5- FIVE- years is the one for you. I guess if you see that is a good quality in a person he must be the one for you. For many of the rest of us, I think we might say... wake up and get a life. Dump him!
2007-01-27 12:21:07 · answer #6 · answered by kilohotel68 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're madly in love, he's probably not. He is not an honorable person. You are both hurting his family and you are hurting yourself. You deserve to have someone who is proud of you and is able to treat you better. Don't tell me he treats you well, because I was there. If you really loved yourself you wouldn't need him. Save thousands on a counselor and leave him now before you have a child and he leaves you or you make that child have to live the secret life you have to live.
2007-01-27 12:25:59 · answer #7 · answered by hazel2000 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To answer your first question, is it wrong?? YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What if he was married to you and he was sleeping with another woman would that be OK with you? he is MARRIED!!!!! He has a wife. If he is so madly in love with you why is he still married? Why? because he is using you as his side poontang and goes home to screw his wife with no thought about you until he is with you, then he loves you because you will give him poontang. Wake up and smell the coffee, you are the "Other" woman. the third wheel. You will lose in the long run. He is using you as his ho. He cannot and will NOT be the one for you because he belongs to his wife. If by chance he breaks yup with his wife and marries you, will you ever be able to trust him????he messing with you while married, do you really think he tells her about you. You are a secret to his wife. His ho.
2007-01-27 12:22:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he does not respect you enough to leave his wife he doesn't love you. He just knows how to play you. I know because until lately I had been seeing a married man (25 years). It took me a long time to get a brain please don't waste your life the way I did. Find someone that will put you first, because as long as he is married you will always be second and if his wife finds out I bet he will dump you.
2007-01-27 12:21:33 · answer #9 · answered by Gale 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People make mistakes, but this guy has had a lot of time to correct his...to either end it with you or have the respect to tell his wife what he's been up to and ask to start over.
This guy is up to no good...he will NEVER leave his wife.
He is using you and he may say he loves you, but his actions say a different thing. On top of it, he is clearly wasting your life because you could be looking for someone available.
You aren't faultless and innocent, but I think you do believe that you are in love. This guy doesn't love you...don't be fooled.
Let me ask you this...even if you could be with him, wouldn't you wonder if he would eventually do the same thing to you?
Kick this one to the curb.
2007-01-27 12:23:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You may be in love with him, but i seriously doubt he is in love with you! If he were, he would be a man and leave his current wife. Trust me, you are simply a booty call for him and he's simply lying to you and saying all the right things so that he can continue with using you. If you think anything other than that you are simply lying to yourself! You sound like a sweet girl, so lose the loser and find someone who will treat you properly. And yes, contrary to popular belief, ther ARE nice guys out there, just be patient!
2007-01-27 12:20:22 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋