My partner of 10 years just admitted to cheating three years ago-a one night stand. Where do I go from here?

Answer 1

If it meant anything to them, it would have been more than once.
However, that doesnt make it right.
You have to ask yourself if you can forgive and forget. If you can, then salvage the relationship if its a good one. which after 10 years, there has to be something good.
I dont know why they would even tell you, unless their conscious was just bothering them. but 3 years later? Long time to have something bother you if you ask me.
This is something you will either be ablet o forget about and move on or you will dwell on it and it will consume u.
You guys need to talk. All out in the open for sure.
And if you do decide to stay together.....u must not ever mention it again or throw it up in their face during a fight or arguement.
Make that promise to each other.
Good luck.

Answer 2

Sounds like he may have had another one night stand just recent and wants to see your reaction incase he gets caught. You would be suprised at how many woman stay with a partner that cheats. Maybe he wants to clear his mind of this. I won't tell you to leave him. Don't leave because someone on here says get away from him. I just hope he used protection at the time. Both of you should get tested as well. As the days, weeks and months go on you will know in your heart what to do. I'm gathering you are both not married. If so and you decide to stay tell him he has to go for help. If he refuses then he does not care about you or what he has done. I had a friend that was with someone with for 15yrs. She was so faithful. Then one day she found a condom in his pant pocket. They were not married and no kids thank goodness. It was her choice to boot him out. She may be alone but she is very happy right now. She felt he was cheating but just needed the proof. Woman who have these feelings are always right. She may be alone right now but she said she would rather be happy then miserable if she were to stay another 15yrs with him. They say once cheater always a cheater. Some might change with the proper help.
Good luck on your decision. All the best from here on.

Answer 3

He told you of his own volition, and he wants to go to counseling. This gives your marriage more chance of being repaired. He has a lot of issues, it seems. The prostitute describes him as disorientated and a wreck, the psychologist describes him as being very needy and co-dependent on you, he also used brothels before you met because he was unsure around girls, he has started drinking, resulting in mood swings. This isn't a man who is balanced within. He may never be whole psychologically, however lovely he is most of the time. Both of you need help, really. I would get an honest assessment from his psychologist - is there a permanent personality disorder underlying his character? You can get a better idea then of whether you can fix and enhance the marriage, or whether it will always have a weakness at the heart of it.

Answer 4

It's going to take a lot of work between the two of you for you to able to trust your partner again. You'll need a little time to cool down, step away from the hurt and decide what's right for you. I wouldn't either forgive immediately or break up immediately. Talk it over with someone you trust (not your partner) to see if you want to spend the time needed to get past this. If so, I'd insist on couple counseling. If not, get on with the grief and goodbyes.

Answer 5

Sit down and have a open conversation, evaluate the stage of your relationship. Only you can decide if this relationship is worth saving and if you can forgive him. It happened 3 years ago(why did he tell you at this time), and maybe he realized that he made a mistake, and is loyal to you. Again, only you can make the call as if you want to stay or leave.
Good Luck.

Answer 6

Where do you want to go? 99.44% of men cheat so if you are going to break up with him does that mean you are planning to do without men the rest of your life? Unless he wants to go, if I were you and I wanted to stay, I'd keep him. If you have been with him 10 years and he hasn't married you, obviously he has a problem with commitment. Just tell him the next time he wants a furlough to let you know so you can take one too.

Answer 7

All depends on where you want to take that relationship.
He was honest enough to tell you. He waited 3 years, so that it is clear that "this is a past thing". Tell him how you feel etc. Speak with him to understand what it meant for him to cheat and what it means to him to tell you. A one night stand is far less than an ongoing relationship. You are the one who knows how you want to react to this... Good luck

Answer 8

Get counseling if you think it might help you forgive him. Give the relationship about 6 months to a year. If you still feel horrible and hate him after that much time for it, then move on. It will take alot of patience from both.

Answer 9

Thats a hard one. I always say that lifes too short not to give second chances. If you love him and he seems sincere, then forgive him. Don't give up a good thing cuz you might never find another. But make it clear that if it happens again, it's over.

Answer 10

decide if you want to forgive him or leave. We all make mistakes and you have to decide if one mistake 3 years ago is going to ruin a great thing. Good luck and I hope that whatever you decide you make the decision that is right for you.