Will sex hurt?

Question

I know there are other people who have asked this question, but I have some extra information about em to add....

Im really worried it will hurt because recently when Im on my period I can no longer use tampons because it hurts so bad to insert them, that i get them not even half way in and I have to take them out because the pain they give me is unbearable. And i mean When I have sex I wont be on my period, but Im still afriad it will hurt, I mean my body is much more sensative and stuff when I am on my period, so i will have more pain, but I dont know I guess Im trying to ask if the pain of me trying to use tampons is normal, and if that will affect how having sex the first time will feel. PLEASE PLEASE help me!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

It can hurt girls and women to have sex - a lot of people will say that sex the first time will hurt, but for the most part it is myth.

It is amazing the number of girls and women who will perpetuate this myth, but in all fairness it is no surprise as so many people are ignorant about sex and the female body, and there are still a lot of taboos surrounding female sexuality and the female body that probably started off the ideas on anything to do with the genitals hurting – menstruation, child-birth, sex, none of these things need to be painful but people constantly tell girls and women that they are supposed to be painful.

People simply refuse to learn, or because they believe it will or should hurt they will think nothing of it if it does, some will even carry on having sex just to let their partners enjoy sex. Girls and women have the ability to stop sex if it hurts, try again later, demand other forms of sex prior to penetration and have every right to enjoyable sex – pain is your bodies way of telling you that something is wrong, sex should be pleasurable.

Sex the first time can hurt normally due to a few common reasons;

-Hymen breaking – this can be painful, but it is just as likely to be pleasurable or have no feeling at all, a lot of girls hymens are broken before penetrative sex so this is not an issue for them.

-Not being emotionally ready – a lot of girls and women convince themselves they are ready for sex when really they are not, they either feel pressured by friends or their partners, if not ready they will not enjoy sex and it will make sex difficult. If a girl believes sex will be painful it will be painful because they will tense up making it hard for the vagina to stretch as it should.

-Not being physically ready – only 30% of women orgasm from penetrative penis to vaginal sex, women's bodies simply are not made to be stimulated by penetration alone so need sex before penetration (i.e. foreplay) I order to make sure the vagina is lubricated enough, elongated enough, flexible enough and to make sure the clitoris is stimulated enough.

When it comes to tampon use pain can be common, tampons can hurt if they are put in incorrectly as too low down or put into the wrong hole it can be painful, pains similar to very bad menstrual cramps. Tampons can also hurt because simply your vagina is not meant to have a dry wad of material inserted into it, tampons can cause friction, irritation and splitting of the vaginal walls, they can also expand into your cervix causing pain and damage.

The above reasons for sex hurting can also be true for tampons, it may simply be that you are uncomfortable with your body or have something called vulvodynia that makes inserting anything into your vagina hurt, it can be purely psychological or it could be the sign of a medical problem - http://www.sexwithoutpain.com

If you are educated, wait till the right time and have sex with someone you love and trust who can turn you on and accepts that you need pleasure too then there is no reason for pain past medical or psychological problems.

When you have sex for the first time make sure you are comfortable, realise that sex is not like on TV as it can be messy, awkward and you may not reach orgasm, make sure the person you are with is right for you and that it is the right choice, and don't be scared to do what makes you feel good – these things will help stop sex for the first time being painful.

If you think it is going to be painful then you will tense up which will make things painful, learn all you can about your body and sex now to help you understand this for yourself.

One of the best articles on this ever written was by Scarleteen, the site is aimed at teen girls mostly however I know it helps a lot of women too, this article goes through in a simple and non-patronising way why sex could hurt and what to do about it, I seriously recommend you read through it - http://www.scarleteen.com/sexuality/owtowow.html - From Ow! To Wow!

Another very good page on first time sex is this page - http://www.the-clitoris.com/f_html/virgin3.htm - the web site it is from is fantastic, but this page in particular will help you understand what you need to about your first time having sex and possible problems.


Some more links you should check out;

http://www.scarleteen.com
http://www.the-clitoris.com
http://www.myvag.net
http://www.vaginaverite.com
http://www.sexinfo101.com
http://www.infosex.com
http://www.sxetc.org

Answer 2

Tampons take a bit of practice to insert properly, check and make sure they are correctly in place. You should not be able to see it if you check with a hand mirror. If you can see it at all, its not inserted deep enough. Also, not too deep, basically just inside the vagina, so that all that is showing is the string.
Young girls should use smaller tampons, not the regular ones. Sex will hurt a little but not a huge amount, enough to say "Ouch" but not much more. Most people bleed a little also from the hymen rupturing. Personally I was sore walking around the next day also, like I'd been riding a horse all day LOL.
If you can visit a lady doctor, I think she would reassure you about a lot of things. Good luck!

Answer 3

The first time, and perhaps the next two times, it can hurt to have penetration. This pain goes away quickly though, and then sex can be fun.
As for the tampons, I think you may not have them inserted far enough. They have to go all the way in with only the string hanging out. There are only sensory nerves inside the vagina right in front where the clitorial body extends into the body. The rest of the vagina really doesn't have sensory nerves, to you shouldn't feel anything from a Tampon that is completely inserted.
Do yourself a favor and get some library books on female anatomy as well as sexual anatomy. The better educated you are, the less fear and therefore the less pain. Insist that your first sex partner also inform himself and tell him you don't want some bloody amateur experimenting with you. You deserve better.

Answer 4

Sweetie
To my knowledge, it is not normal to be in pain from wearing a tampon. I think you need an exam at you OB-GYN's office.
One possibility is that you have an excessively thick hymen. If that is the case, I believe that it would certainly cause discomfort wearing a tampon, and even greater discomfort during sex, especially the first few times.
This was the case with a friend of mine when we were young women. She had her hymen surgically opened by her gynecologist. No, it didn't hurt!...just some bleeding for a day or two. This would also make your tampons comfortable when you wear them.
Please see a doctor about this.

Answer 5

Try using a smaller size tampon [Playtex Slim Fits] and check the directions to make sure that you are using them correctly. If that does not work, you might want to check with your doctor. Sex should not be painful, maybe a little uncomfortable your first time. Remember, it cannot be all that bad, look how over populated our world is.

Answer 6

It hurts because you're not 'excited'.

When you are with someone, and you are excited, you will find that sex will be just fine.

Don't compare inserting one thing with the other;)

Not everyone hurts the first time, and even if it does the first time it is more like a 'soreness' than a real pain.

Relax! When you are ready and it is right you will have nothing to worry about.

Answer 7

Sex for the first time is guaranteed to hurt, whether you do it tomorrow or 10 years from now. As far as the tampon situation, I'd talk to your Dr (if you're out on your own) or Mom if you're still in high school) about it. If it can only go halfway in before the pain, you may have a cyst (or, god forbid, something worse).

Answer 8

I have never had sex before but if you feel a pain in the lower area I suggest that you dont have sex. If you cant stand the pain during your period you are really not going to want to feel what sex is like then. I cant make the dission for you so you must chose what you feel most comefterable doing.

Answer 9

Seeing as I'm a virgin I don't really know, but i assume as much. But tampons are painful for me, so i'm a bit scared i'll have to go through more pain.

Also, it's not normal for tampons to painful.

Answer 10

No. It's not normal.

Also...are you ready to be a mother?

If you're going to have sex, be prepared to face the consequences of getting pregnant, even if you use condoms...nothing but abstinence is 100% safe.