My girlfriend cheated on me one weekend with this guy who used to be her friend with benefits. She didnt tell me till 2 weeks after. She said he made out with her, but she didnt stop him because she was angry with me. We had gotten into an argument over that weekend. and that is why she did it. I dont know what to do, she says she is sorry, and she wont do it again...but i feel that it is going to take a long time to trust her again..., what do i do??
2007-01-27 11:38:04 · 43 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Me and my girlfriend have been going out for 11 months and going to make 1 yeah on valentans day, and we really love each other, so i am not sure what to do.
2007-01-27 11:45:45 · update #1
if she cheat once she will cheat again later so the best thing for you to do is to cheat on her in front of her and then tell her you are sorry.
2007-01-27 11:51:15 · answer #1 · answered by Annie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you choose to do so, you are a brave man. Myself, I am a woman and from this side of that line. My husband is in Iraq, has been there for nearly a year now. And I have refrained. But then we have been married sevens years to date. So we have trust and a history. We do not have a perfect marriage but still I'm faithful because I love him. I used to be the sleep around kind of girl but something about him opened my eyes/heart and closed my legs to all others.
Reasons to trust:
1) she did tell you right? so she felt guilty enough or shes smart enough to know that she will get caught eventually and wanted to curb that saving you the pain of finding out without her honesty.
2) what have you got to lose. Back your heart up a bit, be commited and just see where it goes. No relationship is a waste... you get friendship and sex...and maybe make her pay for a movie or two... When you know you can trust you will reinvest your heart. And dont be afraid to tell her so. If she's in it for the long haul (even if that is until summer is over for you), she will wait and trust that you know what you are doing.
Reasons not to trust.
1) this ex Friend with benefits is still around?
2) she cheated man, how can that be so if she LOVES you? actually ask her this question in a serious non threatening tone. Th answer may take a while, and may be rooted inside issues that have nothing to do with you. Be ready for the answer when it comes.
3) She cheated when she was mad, is this the way you want to solve all your problems in the furture? Ask her.
2007-01-27 11:53:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way u can have a relationship without trust...So everytime u guys get into an argument she is going to let some guy make out with her because she is mad at u? That doesnt make any sense. She is only saying she wont do it again so that she can have your forgiveness but the truth of the matter is she should have never let it happen the first time under any circumstance if she really even cared. Alot of people forgive the person who cheated on them but the main thing in continuing a relationship where one has cheated is to forget. Its hard to do and damn near impossible and that is why u dont trust her because u still rememer what she did to u. In order to move on u have to forget over forgive...is that something u are willing to do?
2007-01-27 11:47:15 · answer #3 · answered by JAY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look if she did it once she'll do it again. i shouldn't be saying it like dat but its true because she was mad its not really a reason if she says she really loves you she wouldn't of done it at all. Love is stronger than hate. And if you do take her back i'm gonna tell you its not gonna be the same. Theirs not gonna be the same kind of trust comming from you and her. She is not gonna trust you because she is gonna be expecting you to cheat on her since she did it. You know pay back isa bit*h. and you won't trust her because you gonna be like she did it once she could do it again. But either way i can just tell you go with your heart because you also don't want an "wat if". and like i say first is a mistake second its not and be sure theirs not gonna be a 3
2007-01-27 12:05:28 · answer #4 · answered by jbhennessy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok the way i see it , if a girl cheats on you , she doesnt love you or respect you , but you have two options ,: you could give her another chance and try to built the trust in her again , and risk getting cheated on again, or you could break it off entirely and break her heart and find another girl that wont cheat on you . The way i see it is if she cheated on you once shes more liable to do it again and there is a better girl out there for you that wont cheat on you adn will love and respect you
2007-01-27 11:47:50 · answer #5 · answered by strawberryskittle14 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will always wonder and it actually sounds pretty shallow that she was angry with you and didn't stop him. What are the chances she wil NEVER EVER be angry with you again (pretty slim) cheating is a profound betrayal of a trust.
Good luck what ever you decide. I cannot tell you what to do only you can decide (check in on you self respect and self esteem while your mulling this over)
2007-01-27 11:44:26 · answer #6 · answered by goddess 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Max, it depends on how old you are. If you are still in the teenage years, you have a long way to go. If you feel she cheated on you, keep her as a friend and start dating others, no reason to tie yourself up in an "iffy" relationship. Both you and she might find out you like someone else better.
2007-01-29 05:45:39 · answer #7 · answered by ARE BEE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well.... If you really love her you would have forgotten about it by now. Though, in my beliefe, she may not have the same feelings for you because once a cheater, always a cheater. This is a big deal. She is playing with your emotions, and by that she hurt you. You should move on hun. It will get to you the whole time your together and never get fixed unless she proves it to you. Good Luck.
2007-01-27 11:44:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well...itsreally up to you...but i would suggest for you to speak to her very calmly and be mature about it, be understanding why she did it....
ok..fine she made out wit a guy because she was mad at you..but that's just very immature of her...if she did care about you she wouldnt think of doing wrong just to get back at you...thats not how to resolve a problem..she just made it worst and now you cant evn trust her...if theres no trust in this relationship its not going to last that long..because in your head you will always think shes doin somthing that will ruin your relationship....
like i said...if she really cared about you ... she should've never done that...
im i a relationship(2yrs) and we argue a lot...all couples argue a lot...but when we argue we dont kiss other people and have sex with them...because its not the end of our relationship just because we argued..we just give each other space and then talk bout it and listen to each other....after that we just laugh bout it...after resolving our problem...our relationship got stronger...
if you give her a second chance..let her know that its going to take a while to gain your trust back....let her know that even tho she cheated on you you're not going to the same thing just to get back at her because you care for her so much that you dont want to hurt her...let her know that you are hurt, let her know if she really cares bout this relationship she better work hard to show you that she can be trusted again...but if she seems like she dont care or dont think she owns an apology..then she's not for you dude..she's abviously not ready for a serious relationship...you didnt deserve to be cheated on..because all you did for her waqs to care for her and love her....
2007-01-27 11:50:38 · answer #9 · answered by lovelylen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her she disobeyed your trust. The rest is up to you. I'm pretty sure she has gotten you upset before, so how did you react?? Did you cheat too? If you havent, then why couldn't she do the same?? It looks like she might be lacking a deep love for you as you have for her.
2007-01-27 11:44:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This girl is too immature and selfish to be involved in a serious relationship with anyone. It's time to break up with her and get on with your life. You deserve someone who knows how to remain faithful no matter how angry she gets. Every couple has disagreements but it does not cause this kind of betrayal.
Tell her it's over - and never, never look back.
2007-01-27 11:47:48 · answer #11 · answered by Bethany 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋