Anyone got any good reasons that aren't nasty to send my aupair back home. she's good with my daughter, but she's really irritating me. she follows me around like a lost puppy = I went in the kitchen and made some toast, she stood next to my, as if she'd never seen anyone do it before.same when i washed up!
2007-01-27 10:54:37 · 23 answers · asked by carmen1509s 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
just finished my maternity leave.haven't started work yet. was looking, but no luck so far.
2007-01-27 10:59:51 · update #1
i've worked as an aupair (a long time ago now) and i didn't know anyone. still i was no lost puppy. i asked her to answer the phone because i had to go out. she said no one rang. when i checked 1471 there was a missed call! It's one of those things that is important, specially with a husband in Iraq.
2007-01-27 11:02:24 · update #2
She doesn't follow me around when she's supposed to look after my daughter. it's when charlotte's in bed.
i'd rather have 4 kids and my husband home than an aupair mommaliss. my husband has been away since october and he won't be back till june!
2007-01-27 11:07:43 · update #3
she's from Germany, and being German myself (living in uk) i know there's not any difference in culture :)
not much chance of her having bonded with my 5 month old daughter. she's only been here a week. and my daughter likes everyone at the moment.
2007-01-27 12:41:29 · update #4
I'm not stuck up or selfish. what's selfish about liking to go and make myself toast without someone starring at me???
she even sits on the sofa looking at what I'm doing on the internet. even when i'm writing e-mails!!! not right now obviously.
2007-01-27 12:44:12 · update #5
Tell your other half (sorry maybe a bit presumptuous of me) that you are not comfortable with this person. If you don't feel good about the person who is looking after your kids, even if you
can't put your finger on it, you are probably right. Always trust those niggling doubts when it comes to others watching your pride and joy. They are too precious!
2007-01-27 11:01:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
maybe you can advetise for a different family for her to go to ? If this is the only reason you want to send her home, then consider the fact that just coz u werent like a lost puppy, doesn't mean she is as confident as you were at that time. Maybe ask other people with au pairs if they feel the same, and if so, maybe its a good idea to arrange for them to all to get together when not needed around the house? Either that or you need to adapt to having a stranger around the house. Maybe get your baby looked after for the day by a friend, and take the au pair out for the day, show her around etc. In a place where she doesnt know the area or people, she will probably appreciate this alot. Also you can explain to her what her role is, and what is expected of her..she may be following you around because she is not sure what you want her to do. It is better to lay down the ground rules, but the problem may simply be that you are finding it hard to adjust to you hubby being gone, and someone you dont know in your house. Good luck!
2007-01-27 23:52:22 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You stated you're having a classic being pregnant. this isn't a reason on your husband to be despatched abode. women human beings have children each and every of the time, without their husbands. in case you've been in misery, or there turned right into a danger both you or the youngster would no longer live on the beginning, he might want to be on a plane abode. I witnessed an E3 Engineman contained in the US army get a F14 experience off the deliver to Pearl Harbor, then a private jet (The Admiral's) to San Diego, Then a police escort in an ambulance to Balboa health center, because his command become advised that neither his spouse, nor the newborn can make it. the US army made effective he become there. It seems, both mom and infant survived and were in difficulty for somewhat, yet ended up chuffed and healthy. So, if there's a reason on your husband to be there, he might want to be. My Brother and that i have been born in a military health center, at the same time as dad become in Viet Nam. He did not get to go back abode both. He received a telephone call and a telegram. I want you, the newborn and your husband properly.
2016-12-03 03:12:23 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about growing some gonads and just kindly giving her a bit of instruction? Tell her you need her to stay with the baby not with you. Mention the incident and tell her you don't need an aupair for yourself but for your child. Maybe let her know that you enjoy solitude and prefer that she not follow you around during routine tasks. That seems to me a lot less harsh than sending her home for such a minor issue. Oh, and congrats on having an aupair to begin with! I have four kids and have never had any help except from their dad.
2007-01-27 11:03:42 · answer #4 · answered by mommaliss 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your child has likely bonded with her and you said she's great with the baby. Why would you not be wiling to work out any differences with her? Many cultures observe much less "personal space" than others... Give her suggestions as to what she should do with her time when your child is asleep. Put together a list of small things she can do around the house, and when she starts to cling, ask her to do one of them. Buy her some yarn and a knitting book for a "thank you" gift for all she does for you... and encourage her to take up that hobby...
Do ANYTHING but make up a lie just to get rid of her. And you want to get rid of her because she's lonely and a little bit socially inept?? In SPITE of the fact that she is great with your baby? Shame on you for being so selfish.
2007-01-27 12:00:16 · answer #5 · answered by Amy S 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell her that your mother or mother-in-law is coming for a prolonged visit and her services are no longer needed.
OR
Tell her that while she's doing a great job caring for your daughter, you would prefer it if she didn't follow you so closely.
Tell her that you are a private person and need some space.
If she's from a different country, especially if her family wasn't well off, she may just be curious about things and how people do things here.
I'm sure she doesn't mean any harm or know that she is bothering you. Just talk to her.
2007-01-27 11:04:39 · answer #6 · answered by devils'littleangel 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi, what a shame for you both bet she is lonely and with a hubby in iraq I bet you are lonely too! ( I bet you are used to having your own space, with a husband in the forces) bet this is driving you mad! Right, say that you have decided to continue your mat leave and so don't need her. give her a couple of weeks to four weeks notice and then if you do go back to work put your baby with a minder or in a nursery, and get a cleaner to help with domestic stuff. It will be much less intrusive for you. All the best!
2007-01-27 21:38:18 · answer #7 · answered by Dianne S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps it may be best to sit her down and try to get a bit more of an understanding of who she is what interest her etc. Tell her to go and relax in the living room and you'll take her a nice drink it or something or even suggest that she should go out one night and let her hair down. Introduce her to some of your friends people who she may get along with. Thats all she may want anyway some company its a new life for her so she is probably still getting used to it. Because I think that it will be unfair if you just sent her home everyone needs a chance in life and she has her's and you could possibly ruin that for her.
2007-01-27 11:19:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
no your not selfish that would do my head in to, did you tell her she was on a trial? if so just tell her you are going to be looking after the kids and you dont need an aupair give her a little time to sort things out tho try and if you can give her a bonus payment to show there is no hard feelings
2007-01-27 17:16:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
So the 'help' wants to befriend you but you don't want to befriend the 'help' classic with our maids and nannies and chauffeurs. **sticks nose up in air** I bought them all a TIVO to put in their chambers and they no longer talk to me. Thank god too cause daddy threatened to fire them all if they didn't leave me alone.
Have you tried talking to her maybe? Is she lonely? bored? Ask what sort of things she likes to do.. maybe buy her way to a movie every now and then as a bonus to get her out of the house and give you the alone time it seems you would much prefer.
2007-01-27 12:20:03 · answer #10 · answered by Gig 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋