am i depressed?

Question

i am 21 and already it seems like life is becoming too much, even though i live quite an easy life compared to most. i feel like in many ways i have been lucky, but this luck is wasted on me. i have contemplated suicide, however can't go through with it due to picturing my mother at my funeral. i do have a lot of friends, but have never had a girlfriend. many girls make fun of me, the few i have gotten close with have then been ashamed afterwards, and i just feel extremely unattractive both inside and out. i have been feeling worse and worse since my father past away in 2004, however am too embarassed to seek help if this is in fact depression. i feel like i am a weak person for feeling this way, and maybe this is just the way everyone is? my lack of confidence has caused me to feel extremely nervous about any social encounter. i have met one girl who i liked and thought reciprocated this feeling, however have since found out she only wants to be friends.

so how can i not only get over her (ive felt this way for over a year) but also get over this feeling of always being down and so harsh on myself. i do know that i am quite ugly in society's eyes, but how can i start to feel that this is not the way to think. i have made changes in my life, learnt new things, got a new job, but still just feel like im a level below almost every one else.

Answer 1

You should talk to someone to get some help.
You do not need to feel this way with your life.
Everyone has problems and some times we all need some help so there is nothing wrong with asking for and getting it.
Please find someone who can help you get this going for you.
Good Luck and the best wishes to you.
I deal with this every day

Answer 2

My guess is that you *are* depressed. It wouldn't hurt to go and speak to a psychologist about it... they might be able to help you. I know it's difficult, and just accepting the fact that you need to go to a psychologist might make you feel even worse, but trust me... it's not a sign that you're weak or inferior to anyone else. You just have something holding you back... Just like somebody else who might have a limp or a foot problem has to go to a foot doctor to get it taken of, the same is true for people who have emotional problems. It's not your fault or a sign of weakness, just something you need to fix. You may need medication, and maybe not... but it's apparent that your life is being affected by it, so go and get yourself the help you need and deserve.

The feelings and thoughts you have are not "normal"... but it's not uncommon either. Millions of people deal with depression every day, and that feeling of worthlessness or wanting to go away or die is something a lot of people deal with. Just know you're not alone... and that there are support groups out there. Find a good psychologist and see what they say. You know what you feel isn't right, and today there are things you can do about it. You don't have to continue living like that.

As for the girl problem... You're 21... and still pretty young! Don't worry about it too much... one day you'll meet the perfect girl for you. When it's true love, looks don't matter. If you feel ugly (which I'm sure you exagerate) then make up for it by being beautiful on the inside. You might not be able to do a lot about how you were born on the outside, but you can certainly change your attitude towards life and how you treat others. Be confident, positive, and kind and you'll see that goes a looong way when it comes to attracting women. And be patient. :) The right one will come along when you are ready and when you least expect it.

Answer 3

You are attracted to a woman, and she rejected you? This has happened to you only once? I wish I could do that well.

Seeing a therapist for this kind of problem is no more shameful than seeing an accountant, because you're having some financial problems, or hiring a personal trainer to help you lose some weight.

You are not the first person in the world to feel this way, and whatever you aren't saying, it probably won't be the first time the therapist has heard it.

I wonder if there is any alcoholism in your family, or incest. If so, I would recommend finding a therapist who is experienced at dealing with that particular problem.

There are some psychiatrists who just specialize in writing prescriptions. Personally, I think they usually do more harm than good. Even if it does turn out that you need some kind of medication, I think you ought to see what you can do without it first.

Answer 4

well...you do need to get some kind of help. most people dont go through this kind of depression. dont commit suicide cuz that crap is messed up. you dont need a girl to complete you and make you happy. live life and be happy with what you got. you obviously have a mom that loves you and friends that care about you. if you atleast have girls that want to be friends then that is better then nothing. maybe after you are friends for a while then it will become more then just a friend ship. maybe go and get a make over or something. if you feel good about yourself on the outside you will feel better about yourself on the inside and that shows out as confidence to girls. just be happy with everything you have in life and if you are supposed to have a girlfriend or be married in your life then you will be. GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 5

Hey ... sounds like you are in a pretty rough patch. You want to consider going to see a counsellor from the family centre or church? I think you need to form a support group to be around you. I mean not just friends but close friends and confidantes. I know you are guy but still if you are feeling this way, I think think you should talk it out. Talking to a counsellor might be a good way cos you don't feel pressurized to say something that the other person expects of you. In fact I think they might be able to assist you from an objective point of you. Taking your life is not an option, you must remember that! It is a gift given to you but you must know how to receive it with passion. Try the Samaritans helpline perhaps?

Answer 6

you sound to be very depressed and almost nothing you can do to stop these horrible feelings except get help from a profeessional. trust me. i know what i am saying because i have been there. thinking that doing something "cool" is going to make you feel different about yourself is not really helpful because as soon as you do it, you don't feel like it is cool anymore.
a good advice i can give you is to talk to a doctor. i was also hesitant to talk to anyone about it for the same reason as you, which made my condition worsen. i decided to go to the doctor about 3-4 months ago and i've been on lexapro since then. looking back now, i wished i had gotten help earlier cos those feelings you get everyday are the worst feelings anyone can get. i used to think that it was normal too until i got help and felt the other side.
the girl problems that you have are also tied to your depression because they want a guy with higher self esteem and they probably see you as an "antisocial". most of this girls like you but they are worried about their social status and these are not the kinds of girls you want anyways.
Remember: the first thing you need to work on is your confidence, which involves talking to your doctor about your depression, because even if you got a girl it is not going to make you feel any better.
if you do not want anyone to think you are weak, you can tell the doctor not to tell anyone. this guys are trained proffessionals and he/she would never tease you about it/tell anyone if you do not want them to because they are one of the few people that understand what you are going thru.
make sure you get help cos i thought doing certain things would also make me feel better about myself but i was also wrong.

Answer 7

Take her friendship and see a doctor soon, ask her maybe to go with you if you dont want to go alone. You are depressed and with good cause, especially with the death of your father. Seek some help and start to push life back into feeling good. You will meet someone, but you need to be ok with yourself before you try and date others. Good Luck.

Answer 8

There is not one person on this earth that is ugly, one day..a women will see the good qualities in you, which i believe its easy to see..as long as you have friends and family in your life, you have no need to worry about depression...when a person is truly depressed, they normally would push the ppl that love them the most away...in your case you haven't, be strong...be well, once you get confidence in yourself, you will be fine.
All the best and heaps of luck ^*^

Answer 9

yes in fact i think you are depressed.you probly should seek professional help.but dont think your the only one.i get depressed too.
i know how you feel about your relationship problems.i go through the same thing.basically its like a cycle for me.
just do your best.try to find happiness in something.i get really sad and lonely so i write songs.and that helps for me.
find a passion...it will help take things off your mind.
and always remember that jesus loves you.
going to church helps me also.[im christian]

so good luck.

Answer 10

life is a packet of highs and lows.my dear friend u definitely need help so seek it out with a psychiatrist. dont hesitate ! we all need help at times. u need to meditate and learn self hypnosis. just be kind to urself u are the best and unique coz u are u .....just believe in this , there is no other u . all the best !