Anybody here have 2 kids while still in early twenties?

Question

I'm 21, my hubby is 22. We have a daughter who is almost two, and we LOVE being parents. We know we want more kids, and that we dont want them to be too far apart in age. We havent started trying yet because we would first like to have a bigger apartment or house, and a minivan instead of a car. But I'm having symptoms of early pregnancy, despite having an IUD. The test was negative, but it would be too early to tell anyway, since my period was only 2 weeks ago. As much as we would LOVE another baby, our logical minds keep asking things like: "How does one juggle a 2 or 3 year old and a newborn? Can we afford it? Is it even possible to love another child as much as we love our daughter? What if our next kid is a hellion? But... what if we dont have another child for a while, and our children never get along because of a big age gap?"

Any stories about how you cope and what its like? Are you glad you had 2 or more kids while you were still so young, or do you wish you

would have waited? Just curious about how other young-ish parents feel. Thanks so much!

Thanks :) After 4 years, we are still very happy together. I'm a stay-at-home mom, and my husband's schedule allows him 3 full days home a week, so our daughter gets great care. She LOVES babies too.

Answer 1

Well, I just had my first at 29, but my mother had me at 21y 2 days, and my sister at 23 1/2 years. If you ask her, she said she loved it. She's said she's glad she had us young when she still had the patience and energy to deal with babies and toddlers. As far as the age difference, your daughter will be 2 1/2 by the time the next baby comes. She won't be self-sufficient, but, she also won't need mommy every minute of the day. 2 1/2 year olds are very capable of amusing themselves for 10-15 minutes at a time, and can even be a help. I baby-sit for a family I used to work for. Their youngest is 27 months, and my baby is almost 7 months. Last week, it was soooo much fun. The 2 year old LOVED helping with the baby, getting her diaper, unfolding it, "helping" put her socks on, showing her toys, feeding her little pieces of food (with supervision), etc. Yes, the 2 year old got jealous every once in a while (wanted to be the baby), but, I'd just pretend *she* was the baby for a few minutes, and she was back to being the "big" girl again. Hard, yes? Fun, definitely. And, in a couple of years, you'll have built in playmates (the 2 year old has a 4 1/2 year old sister, and they play ALL the time together). It's up to you, but good luck whatever you decide.

Answer 2

I am 22 my hubby is 23. We have been together for almost seven years. We have a five year old and a new baby that is 4month old.

Our children are far apart but not so far that they wouldn't be close. I find it easier to have an older child with a baby so the older child can help out. They love to be part of taking care of the new baby.

A younger child such as two woudl probably be jealous and not know how to handle there anger and or emotions.

We are going to wait for atleast three years to have another one. You need time for the baby to be the baby i believe.

I went through the same thing with how can i ever love another child...even while i was pregnant i doubted it. But the second that nbaby was born i was in love again. And you can love anothe rchild and you will not loose any love for the first child.

It is a chance you have to take. All kids go through a hellion phase. It is life. That doesn't mean you should n't have another one just because you think that...

It is hard to handle to children. I work, he works. I go to school. It is nice that hte older one is in school too. And my mom watches the baby. But you have to make sacrafices now in order to provide for them well in the future.

Just be sure to always make time for the older one...alone time. They don't watn to feel like they are shoved off to the side.

Answer 3

I am 23 and my husband is 31 and we have a 3 year old and a 4month old. We had the same dilemma on whether to have another after out daughter turned 2. We decided that we didn't want our children to be too far apart due to having many friends who are 4 or more years apart from their siblings and didn't get along until adult years and even then it really wasn't a friendship.
We decided to go with the "if it happens it happens" route and went off all birth control. Well it took about a year for our son's conception. and I have to say I am delighted to have another child, especially since now I have a boy and a girl.
The juggling is difficult but once you get used to it, it really is just like you've doing all along.
Is it possible to LOVE another child as much as you love your first. I believe everyone is different but I asked my self this when I was pregnant with our son. I asked many parents "does the LOVE you feel double or Divide? No one could really answer it for me. Honestly, I don't know if I can answer it for you. When it was just my daughter, I had bursts of LOVE where I would just feel like hugging her and kissing her and never letting her go! Now... well, I don't want to say that I no longer feel those bursts, but they are no longer directed at one person, it is more like a silent contentment and peace; I can bring on the sense of LOVE to either of my children just thinking about them. I believe it is also different because one is a girl and the other a boy. For my daughter I feel a completely sweet, giggly, beautiful LOVE it almost feel like excitement & the LOVE I feel for my son is a very gentle pride and admiration. But there is not a doubt in my mind that I LOVE them both completely and neither MORE than the other.
"What if the next is a hellion".... IT CAN HAPPEN...!!
This is not trying to scare you out of having another child but we went thru this EXACTLY. Our daughter was always happy, slept thru the night after 3 months, never really spit up; we never had any real problems. Our SON! He is the complete opposite, he has been deemed a high needs child, I cannot put him down for longer than 10 minutes without him crying, he has reflux and doesn't have the ability to burp without throwing up on me. :) He eats all the time. We were feeding him 5-6oz of formula when he came home from the hospital with me nursing on top of that! And I’m still getting up in the middle of the night. But there are always the positive things, he starting laughing earlier than our daughter so there were always little bright spots in the day to make the stress ease some.
I obviously cannot tell you whether to have another or not. The only thing I can tell you is what I know and that is; that once my son was here, I never had a second thought about it. Money will be made and lost, I will have well organized days and days that are horrible and everything feels like it is falling on top of me but IT TOO SHALL PASS, there will always be another good day down the road.
One other thing, even if you decide to wait or not there is no guarantee they will get along not matter their age gap. So if you wait 3,5, or even 7 years they could still be the best of friends.
Good LUCK!

Answer 4

Well I am 24 soon to be 25 in 15 days. I have two children a 3year old and a 13 month old. I love that they are close together easy to entertain with the same toys, movies and ideas. I also run a daycare from my home and have 6 children daily. I love children and if I think they are closer when they are born together within 2-3 years if you can handle diapers and what not. I am also a surro mother- having a child for someone else. I think if you are ready go ahead girl have children. In money we found that it was better for me to be home with the children before we even had kids because of daycare costs so I now help parent's with their childcare delimas. My brother and I are 3 years apart as well as my husband and his brother. I think that was a great year span for all of us. Believe it or not it is always easier with your second. My son was first and he was amused with tv and never climbed or got into things and then my daughter came and was the complete opposite but I was prepared with my now 3 year old since that is all he does now. Also about the love yes you can love each of your children just the same. Each of your children will have different qualities that you will like more in each of them but you will love them as much as one could love their child. My advice would be make sure your husband is aware of his time with you. Once you have two children close together his time will be shorten. Thje baby will need you as well as your first born and they will tend to want mommy more. So make sure he is ok with that.

Answer 5

I am 22 with 2 kids we are married and our kids are 3 years apart in age..I LOVE being young parents nothing better then it at all. I always have so much energy and I am always willing to learn about new studies that are out there. My first a girl is amazing my second a boy well he is very hyper and it was a HARD adjustment. I would not change anything for the world . it is hard at first but all worth it a year later. My two are best friends and i love it

My family and friends are my support on my bad days my hubby works alot but yes if i could do it all over agian i would in a sec

Answer 6

I had my first at 21 and my second at 23. It didn't really seem to be a problem, and I loved having kids that were so close, because they have become each other's best friends.

I loved also that I didn't have any time where one was out of diapers before the next one came along. I got done with all of the diaper changing within 3 years and then I was DONE!

It is very much sure that you can love two babies just as much as you can love one. Not to worry about that at all.

Answer 7

We were 22 when our first was born and the other one 2.5 years later. It is difficult being young parents because yes, affording the finer things is difficult. You are a stay at home mom and that in itself is a luxury.

There is no right or wrong answer to this. You do the best you can do with whatever happens. You will survive.

The good news is that we are now in our early 40's and one kid moved out and the other one has one foot out the door. We still feel young and we are very glad we had our kids at the age we did.

((Some of our friends that are our age have kids in elementary school and they are jealous of our freedom))

Answer 8

Well I am 23yrs old and I have a 4 year old son and a son who just turned 1 in December, I am expecting my third baby (a girl) in April. When my second son was born I was worried about how my then 3 year old would react and he was so excited to be a big brother. My 4 year old understands that I am going to have another baby and he cant wait because he loves his brother so much, but my 1 year old does not understand what is going to happen so it may take a little time for him to adjust when she does arrive. I am glad that my kids are going to be so close in age and that I am a young mother. And dont worry about loving another child I think with each child born your heart grows bigger and you can love each one equally.

Answer 9

I will be 26 next month. My husband and I have two beautiful little boys, ages 7 years and 15 months. I love being in my 20's and having two kids. We definitely want another one, but I recently had a miscarriage. I love being a "young" mother though because it is great to be young enough to keep up with my kids and it is also nice because when our kids are all grown up, we are still going to be young enough to enjoy ourselves.

Sure there are people who judge you because you are young and have children, but honestly, who cares?? As long as you love your kids and are a good parent, who really cares what other people think. I do think however that people are becoming a little less ignorant about being young with kids, because its so common now.

Follow your heart. Do what is best for your family. If you want to have more children....then go for it! Having kids is the greatest thing in the world....and don't worry, you will definitely be able to love your next one just as much as you do your daughter.

Good Luck!!

Answer 10

I'm 24 years old. I have a son who is almost 4. Right now were trying for our 2nd. We didn't want the age gap to be as much as it is but I lost a baby 2 years ago. What made me want more kids was wanting my son to have family. I'm the youngest of 5 and my husband is the oldest of 4. Neither of us could imagine life without siblings. We did it more for our kids than ourselves. I think it's important to have siblings. I'd say you know what's best for your family. We also worry about affording it, but things will work out. Even if it means having a sibling of ours live with us for a while to help with baby-sitting. Good luck!