I am 36. I finally told my parents that I only spend time with them out of a sense of obligation. I have always felt this way. They make me miserable. I always feel depressed after any conversations with them or any time spent with them.
2007-01-27 09:09:17 · 12 answers · asked by ahhihello 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Because they are my parents, I still plan to call and visit at least once a week.
2007-01-27 09:16:45 · update #1
You know, our parents are our parents and we are stuck with them. They gave us life and raised us, so we owe them simple respect for that fact alone. Beyond that, if they treat us badly or we feel that the relationship is toxic, there is absolutely nothing wrong with scaling back or cutting off time with them. I had a wonderful relationship with my parents. They are both dead. Died 2 years ago. I miss them terribly and would give anything to have them back. My ex-husband, on the other hand, had a terrible relationship with his parents. His father was married to his mother but was never there for him, and his mother is a psycho and a very manipulative and controlling woman. For a time, we didn't speak to either of them for a year because of how poorly they treated us. You have to do what is best for you, but seriously, if your parents leave you feeling miserable after spending time with them or having conversations with them, it is perfectly appropriate to respectfully tell them that you love them, but that you have to limit your time with them or not have contact with them because they are hurting you. As a parent myself, if my kids ever felt that way about me, it would make me take a long and hard look at the way I am treating them. I would want them to want to spend time with me, and if they didn't want to, I would do what I could to repair the relationship. If your parents aren't willing to do that, you are not being a disrespectful or ungrateful child to cut them off. As parents, we have an obligation to nurture and love our children. If our children aren't feeling that we are doing that, then we have to expect they won't want to spend time with us. Good luck.
2007-01-27 09:18:22 · answer #1 · answered by Chimichanga to go please!! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you, I've never worried about CPS here, have never done anything to either of my children to warrant someone calling CPS on me. And I've spanked my kids before too, and still don't worry. The only time I ever spanked my kids though was when each one of them ran out into a parking lot (like at the grocery store.) It was the only way I could think of to communicate to a 2 or 3 year old that you DO NOT do that, it's a safety issue. My spanking the child then didn't hurt them nearly as much as if they had been hit by a car. Of course, they're 16 and 12 now, so we're just a bit beyond spanking. We're now in the removal of priveleges phase of disipline.
2016-05-24 06:28:42 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well arent we a bit snobbish when it comes to your parents. YOU are obligated to them for the fact that they raised you. consider yourself fortunate to still have your parents alive. You really need to get the "spoiled rotten child-like attitude" out of your head and act like that of an ADULT. So they may have some problems-maybe they feel they can talk to you about them. Just be kind and sit there and listen---so you get a little depressed-----dont we all?
2007-01-27 10:07:09 · answer #3 · answered by nickle 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't but I have a good relationship with my parents. Sometimes they want me to be around a little too much but I enjoy my time with them. They have problems but we don't get depressed when we talk about them. Sometimes they just want someone to sound off of. It helps them feel better. I don't what your relationship with your parents is like or what they talk about that depresses you but you might want to tell them how you feel. They are the only ones you get and they don't stick around forever. I hope mine do though.
2007-01-27 09:17:18 · answer #4 · answered by HiTekRednek 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes--but not for the same reason--I feel guilty a lot--they want me to spend more time with them, and I don't want to--it's kinda depressing for me to go back where they live, since I have so many negative associations with my hometown. They know this--but it does not stop them, especially my dad, from trying to guilt me into coming home more often....
how did your parents react to this, when you told them?
2007-01-27 09:16:01 · answer #5 · answered by colbertcm61 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how are you going to feel when there dead? Will you be happy? Or willl you be sad there gone and you did'nt spend enough time with them? My parents are agravating sometimes but I know the time will come when they aren't around anymore and I will miss them and be sad because I did'nt spend more time with them.
2007-01-27 09:14:35 · answer #6 · answered by little3nikki 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yeah, im incoming college and I already feel bad. Maybe its because they always nag me to get high grades. Sometimes I get so pressured that I leave the dinner table and slam my door shut... and they don't even get it that I'm mad already.
2007-01-27 09:14:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
always try to make time for your parents. if it were not for them you would not be here. and yes when they are dead and gone how you going to feel?
2007-01-27 09:44:31 · answer #8 · answered by sbwest63 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are an adult, until they can respect you as one, I would limit my visits and contact until they do respect you and show it. advise them of what your demands are,
2007-01-27 09:19:32 · answer #9 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no, i wouldn't because there are those people that cant share that type relationship with there parents.
2007-01-27 09:19:17 · answer #10 · answered by bubba 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋