My husband likes to listen to rap. He doesn't understand why I have a problem with him cranking it around our two year old. Just as an example he was listening to the speakerbox cd the other day, and in the 10 minutes I was fighting with myself to ask him to turn it off.... the N word was said over a dozen times. Among numerous "cuss" words. What would he do if he had our son in the store and that word flew out of his mouth?! I don't like it. And I don't know how to get the point across to him. Any suggestions?
2007-01-27 08:50:37 · 14 answers · asked by cabinfeverjen 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Why is this a racial issue? It's a parenting issue, to me. If he was listening to acid rock and they were screaming b**** over and over, it would be just as harmful and denigrating to your son.
Buy him a cheap mp3 player, tell him to use that. You don't have to listen to kids music, but switching the station or CD when your son is around to less angry and abusive stuff is appropriate. Kids do what they see, they say what they hear, and it is totally not appropriate.
I have to say stuff to my husband, he doesn't 'hear' some of that stuff, he's just listening to rhythm and beat. When i point out, "Did you just hear them say they're going to X someone girls Y? I don't want the girls thinking that's okay, they'll be pregnant by 12!"
2007-01-27 13:00:09 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is awful. I don't know what I'd do if I was in your situation. It's just a terrible place to be.
I think I would make a point to remove him from the room whenever your husband plays music like this. If your husband can't act like a grown-up, then honestly, I'd do everything I could. Remove the radio from the car if you have to.
Most importantly, teach your son NOW that these words are not appropriate and that even though daddy does it, it doesn't make it right. Tell him that you expect him to behave properly and not use swears and racial slurs and while you can't punish daddy, you will most definitely be punishing him if he ever uses words like that.
As a last resort, you could mention to your husband that any judge would likely agree with you should you take the matter to court. It's extreme, but if it's something that is really bothering you that much, you should play all the cards you can.
2007-01-27 21:18:10 · answer #2 · answered by Jen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, you have the answer to your question right there, in your explanation!! Should the child repeat what he's been hearing on those songs in front of relatives or other people, your husband would feel ashamed, wouldn't he? This is what you need to ask him, and if he says that wouldn't be a problem for him, then it's time for you to take further action. Sometimes you need to take some things out of your intimate circle, to others who would also care and worry about you and your child, like for example, your in-laws. The better solution would be for him to understand that he's not doing good, but if the first option doesn't work, well, there's another!! Now, before you tell his parents, advise him of your intentions, so that he won't be caught by surprise, this is not the purpose, and I would not want for you to get into a deeper problem with your husband because of this. Good luck.
2007-01-27 17:12:47 · answer #3 · answered by gaban24 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
wow, that's horrible, I don't understand how he can not see the harm, I'm not sure how to advise you without seeming cruel, It's just so clear why not to let any child listen to such trash, it's hard to believe you need to explain it to him, why not print out your question and all the answers and show him, also maybe buy some childrens rap cd's that way he can listen to rap yet it's made for children with positive words and messages, there are many out there he can listen to the other stuff when he is alone
2007-01-27 17:34:59 · answer #4 · answered by melissa s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
theres a lot of rap that isnt all swearing and saying N words. He loves rap, thats ok. Music of all types is good for kids. It teaches to hear tones and get rhythm, etc. Anyways ask him to put the swearing albums on his mp3 player to listen when hes out walking, going to work, church, clubs, whereever he goes. Then at home listen to the cleaner rap songs by cleaner artists. Ensure he understands your concerns and why this is important.
2007-01-27 17:24:54 · answer #5 · answered by flyer 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I could say 'bxtch-slap him' but you don't need that kind of humor here.
Your toddler will have exposure to more that bad words, if the habit goes on. Talk to him again about the fact that babies' brains grow to, what, 75% or so of their adult size in the first 4 years of so of life. Baby is absorbing much more than is realized. Parenting means we can't be the babies, the spoiled or catered-to ones in the family, we're the ones who make sacrifices for the benefit of our kids. Buy him some headphones and give him LOTS of joyful positive reinforcement for cooperating.
2007-01-27 17:03:05 · answer #6 · answered by Zeera 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My suggestion is that you remove your son from the room when your husband is doing it. It is a pain and a hassle, but the damage you worry about is real. Since your husband is not sensitive or mature enough to care about this (will he watch R rated movies in front of your kid, too?), you must be proactive and take your son away from the offending music. You don't have to speak angrily, or punitively, to your husband. You've already explained to him that it is not appropriate as an atmosphere for young children. Now you must act on your beliefs.
"Hey, we'll see you when the album's over. Enjoy." Or get him headphones.
You must stand up for your child now and you will have to continue to do so for decades.
2007-01-27 16:56:37 · answer #7 · answered by t jefferson 3 · 10⤊ 0⤋
No offense, but your husband sounds like a moron. I don't have kids, but I have 3 nieces ages 6-11. When they come over, I don't play my punk rock CDs that are full of profanity and negative social commentary ("screw the system", etc, etc), I don't play movies like Terminator, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, or Aliens, I hide all the old Playboy magazines at the back of the closet, and I don't let them go on the internet unsupervised. It's just common sense! Would he let your kid watch a movie that was loaded with violence, profanity, and sexual references? Sounds like he would...wow, what a "great" dad!
2007-01-27 17:02:00 · answer #8 · answered by The Man In The Box 6 · 8⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs to grow up. He is a parent and what he decides to do is governed by the fact he has a kid. If he wants to listen to that crap then he needs to do it away from the kid. Switch to country and teach the kid some good ole fashioned values. No kid needs to be listening to racial slurs and swear words. Unfortunately it so prevelant in our society that keeping it away from our kids is pretty difficult. Stick to your guns and give Daddy a reality check.
2007-01-27 17:07:48 · answer #9 · answered by HiTekRednek 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Tell him you don't want him listening to rap around your son because you don't want any of those bad words coming from his mouth.
2007-01-27 17:00:20 · answer #10 · answered by Momof1 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋