Do fences really make good neighbors? What does this phrase/idiom mean anyways?

Answer 1

Originally, it meant keeping your livestock out of the neighbor's yard.
Today, however, it can be associated with setting good boundaries in every relationship.

Answer 2

Bit_4 is right about Robert Scott's poem. And, as he/she says, a good fence will keep neighbours on good terms by keeping each other's livestock (such as sheep or cattle) on the 'right' side of the fence.

But it goes a little further as well, and that's in the sense that a good fence clearly marks the boundary between two properties, so that there is never a question about where the boundary runs. Arguments about 'who owns what' where territories bump up against each other is a cause of more strife in the world than straying cattle (when you start talking about boundaries between countries).

And there's further meaning that Robert Frost hinted at. That is that there are 'virtual' fences that exist between people, and that the quality of the relationship between people depends in part on how well they maintain these 'fences in the mind'. In psychological terms this is talked about it as 'having good boundaries'.

Remember we are talking about a 'good fence', not a barrier. So what we're talking about are boundaries between people that help them know when not to over-intrude, how to give people 'space', and let people 'grow' without smothering them. If you have 'good boundaries' you have a good sense of who you are, and what you stand for. You appreciate that everyone 'lives' in a slightly different world (separated by those fences) with different perspectives even though they are neighbours, and make room for that in dealing with people, and appreciate and value their difference. And finally, to get back to the straying livestock idea, a good boundary means that you keep the unruly livestock in your head on your side of the fence - meaning that you don't let anger stray 'across the line' to hurt others.

There is a 'balancing act' here though. A perfect boundary could mean that you are perfectly 'at peace' with the world, but you don't interact with it at all. You might seem to others to be cold or indifferent if you take it 'too far'. Robert Frost - as I recollect - hints at that problem, but doesn't suggest that there's any easy answer.

There's one last image in the poem (and I'm recalling it from memory from 30 years ago), and that is that the neighbours would each year restore the stones (it was a stone wall in the poem) that had fallen down during the winter storms. This acknowledges that maintaining good relationships requires constant effort and attention.

Answer 3

Personally, I don't like the term, but it is meant to provide each person with "Personal" space. Meaning that you do in your yard what you want, I will do in my yard what I want. Thereby each neighbor gets to use their own property as they wish and not intefere with the rules and regulations of the other, thereby maintaining the freindship.

The reason I don't like the term is that you can see exactly what happens when we put up fences. It not only does not make good neighbors, but creates bad ones. It not only locks out those who disrepect the property, but locks out any of the good ones that do treat it with respect. To quote another quote "One rotten apple spoils the bunch."

P.S. The one's who disrepect the property will climb or destory the fence anyways.

Answer 4

Good neighbors respect one another’s property. Good farmers, for example, maintain their fences in order to keep their livestock from wandering onto neighboring farms. This proverb appears in the poem “Mending Wall,” by Robert Frost.

http://www.bartleby.com/59/3/goodfencesma.html

Answer 5

This phrase means that a good neighbour respects the space and privacy of his fellow neighbours. A fence is a physical marker indicating that this area is distinct from the area next to it, thus that the house and its inhabitants are requesting their privacy and space with this symbolic marker.

Answer 6

It means that no matter how much people may like each other, we all have our own interests and 'space' which should be respected. We tend to like and respect people who recognize these limits.

Answer 7

Yes.

I would be happier to see my neighbours in their own yard than in mine, well not that they arent welcome over but, you know