Im 21 years old Im at a very confused point in my life. I feel as if im wise for my age, I dont feel 21 I feel like im in my 30's. I really different from women my age im more mature in some ways than others. My dating life, well lets just say i never had one. I have my own apartment I do admit that I get lonely alot. Its not because I live by myself, but its because i feel like there is something missing. I dont have a boyfriend I had one before we broke up 4 months ago we was together for 2 years. When I lay in my bed at night sometimes I roll over and dream that im cuddling up to my "husband" and waking up during the night to nurse my old year old and newborn baby.For one thing I want the family life, I dont drink smoke. have sex or go clubbin, I have a christian life that I lead. I have prayed for god to help me with my loneliness, I feel ike its gonna eat me up inside. I have been thinking about getting myself pregant when i finish college in 16 months. I would feel complete.
2007-01-27 07:47:56 · 20 answers · asked by Merie h 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Slow down!!! You are only 21. I am sure you are tired of hearing that but it is sooo true! If you are a Christian then you know God will answer when the time is truly right for you. So do not feel that it is an unanswered prayer. Even if it is a couple years from now it will be worth the wait. I would think real hard about getting pregnant when you finish college, cause if you meet a real good Christian that will be a deal breaker.
2007-01-27 08:09:59 · answer #1 · answered by Z 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Hun. I'm sorry you feel that way. However if you have true faith in God then you know that things will work out for the best. I think that you need to get out of yourself and be of service to someone else. You are too much in the future, in the past, and you need to stay in the present and understand that nothing happens in god's world by mistake. You are exactly where you are supposed to be right now and even if its not everything that you want, its everything that you need.
It says in the bible that NO HUMAN POWER CAN MAKE US HAPPY.
Abraham Lincoln said "We are only as happy as we allow ourselves to be".
And the fact of the matter is that you are comfortable being miserable in yourself. Go help someone else that is miserable and shed some light in their life and see how it will work for you. Suddenly things will not feel so bad and you will have answers for yourself. Also the energy that you gain from helping another person will glow around you and people pick up on that. Men will see that. Stop dreaming about what you could have tomorrow and realize what you have today. Because today is all that matters. Good Luck.
2007-01-27 08:00:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
be patient!!! if your peers are too immature for you try to find settings or people at an older stage of life. you sound like me in some ways when i was your age, be patient, find older people to do things with, talk to someone about your relationship issues, even your preacher, one thing though enjoy the age you are at right now, you will never be 21 again and you should explore your world and yourself at this age. a baby is not the solution to loneliness, not fair for the child, will not help with loneliness, find an interest, hobby, or cause that you can get into, try something new, you may meet new people. just remember that nothing stays the same and that this feeling will pass. stay true, you sound like a diamond, and some guy will realize what a gem you are and if they are smart will make you happy
2007-01-27 08:01:56 · answer #3 · answered by onlinedreamer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a Christian male and I occasionally feel the same way that you do. But I keep my mind busy. I go to the gym regularly. I play the piano. I own hundreds of books. I read books which are very helpful. I also like to read biographies. I like to learn about certain impressive peoples' lives. Sometimes solitude can be a blessing. I am so busy that I honestly don't have time for people. I don't have a girlfriend but I do have a little crush on a coworker. I am very shy, but most people don't know it. I think most people think I'm arrogant, which I'm not.
Your name isn't Michelle, is it? Because you sound very much like someone I broke up with recently. Anyway, do what you know is right. Don't allow bad behavior to give you a guilty conscience. There's a peace that comes from doing right. One thing that I would recommend for you is prayer. Set aside some time daily to pray for the things that you truly desire. You can be honest with God. He knows everything anyway. One last thing that I recommend for you is to read "The Fascinating Girl" by Helen Andelin. She also wrote "Fascinating Womanhood"
2007-01-27 08:05:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely don't get pregnant until your happily married. I'm 25 live alone also and I love it most of the time, but yes it gets a little boring sometimes, bored-um is what causes loneliness I don't believe in that whole loneliness stuff to me its straight up bored-um, so I get involved in martial arts the gym tennis and visit friends often. I don't drink or club either but you gotta find other things. I don't know why a man hasn't picked you up but you gotta fix it, I'm thinking maybe your over weight or some kinda problem because woman with nice bodies can't get the men off of them. I'm doing this whole Internet dating thing and i have had some dates so maybe try that and step into the gym and get that body working. Just don't go for the first guy you date unless he seems right for you. Good-luck.
2007-01-27 08:03:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm glad to hear that you are a Christian. I would encourage you to continue to pray that God would show you how to fill the void of loneliness in your life without having to have a husband or a baby. Believe me - the feeling you are experiencing will NOT go magically away when another person comes into your life. That is why so many relationships don't work out. People expect the other one to make them happy, but that doesn't happen. You have to bring happiness to yourself. Why not try volunteering, getting out and finding a new hobby. Being cooped up at home does not help the situation. When you are praying, ask God to come into your life and fill the void. Ask him to bring healthy people into your life who you can build relationship with, and ask him to help you make smart decisions for your life. Getting married quickly or getting pregnant are not smart decisions for you right now. Trust me, God has a good plan for you and things will work out!
2007-01-27 07:57:26 · answer #6 · answered by TwinkaTee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell ylourself that you are in a training period until you finish with school, and remember the divorce rate of those who marry while one of the people are in college is very high because your life will change when you are done. If you feel lonly now, perhaps you could get a group of friends to go out with. You do have to be careful when you do graduate that you do not get into a relationship too fast for the sake of being in a relationship but wait for the right person so that it lasts when you find the right person.
2007-01-27 07:57:19 · answer #7 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no other human on this planet that can or will make you feel complete. The only person that completes us humans is God. Only when our relationship with God is good and healthy, then we feel complete.
A baby or a husband will not complete you - Never. If you are not happy and full on your own, no other human will or can do that for you. If you feel like you need to meet some new people, try to join a club - dance class, or a hobby. Other than that, try to pray and get a relationship with God - because it is only God that can really make you fully complete.
2007-01-27 07:53:28 · answer #8 · answered by fancyface1 l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting pregnant is not the answer. You are doing great. Believe in God and have Faith that he has something better in store for you. It's funny when I pray and don't get what I want then I try to do it myself to no avail. When I pray, have faith, let god do it and wait it works out the right way. It is all in Gods time not mine. Maybe that will help. Good Luck and God Bless
2007-01-27 07:59:48 · answer #9 · answered by kellyfl59 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need not to worry about feeling lonely just enjoy life to teh fullest and also get a dog to fill in the viods for now. ANd never can tell who you might meet when your walking your dog. Also you need to relaize that been lonely is just a feeling and do stuff that make you happy and forgt about been lonely. You took for granted your relationship and now you are feeling it. But hey If you need a friend to make you froget teh lonelyness just IM me anytime and we can chat about all the stuff you should be doing.
2007-01-27 07:56:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋