We started out as friends, have never met, and fell madly in love.
we are 2500 miles apart. she had plans to fly in but cancelled the last minute. she said she is confused and doesnt think i would be happy with her. we have suffered from the distance and it has been real hard at times. we are human. she has lots of guy friends. i have thought about going out with and getting to know other women. i have doen things with other women but not in a romantic way. just to have friends. i am a single father and seem to always find single women to hang out with..my long distance girl friend has never left my mind. ilove her like no other..i guess my question is...what are the odds that this will work out..?? any input will be very helpfull..thank you!
2007-01-27 07:29:33 · 16 answers · asked by saugeye 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I totally understand. My boyfriend and I are about 3000 miles away, and it definitely sucks, but COMMUNICATION is numero uno. We have had a couple issues arise and when times get tough it strains the relationship, but you have to be open and honest with each other to make it work. If you're concerned about something, talk to her. Find out why she thinks you wouldn't be happy with her. You have to try and ease each others minds from a long distance away so you need to talk. I cannot stress the importance of talking with each other enough. My man and I have been through the whole opposite sex as friends thing, and it does suck, and I don't know what kind of woman you have but sometimes we are just friends. Just like you said you've been out with other women as just friends... but I hope you didn't mean you've been out on dates with these women and it ended up as just friends. Anyway, you need to talk and tell her how you honestly feel... if neither one of you is willing to make a sacrifice and move to be with other other this relationship realistically may not last... but you have to be honest with yourself and each other to determine what is best for both of you. Good luck!
2007-01-27 07:37:58 · answer #1 · answered by smurfette 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it sounds as though there are alot of odds working against you in this situation. It takes alot to keep a long distance relationship together especially sence you've never met in person. Long distance relationships need a strong first impression which helps create a good foundation for the relationship. The fact that she cancelled at the last minute to come see you and said that she doesn't think you would be happy with her could mean a few things, Either she lacks self confidence in herself and is scared that if you met her that u would reject her is just one possibility, You said she also has lots of guy friends this is not always a good thing often times it is pretty easy to live a different life online and then a separate life offline and without ever being with her you would never truly know what kind of life is she living when shes not online. Thats just something u need to think about. I thing the bottomline here though is if you want this relationship to become a reality then one of you has to step up to the plate and close the distance otherwise my friend is time to move on to something more concrete and more realistic...
2007-01-27 07:48:00 · answer #2 · answered by Steven K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it, but I think this relationship will not work. You are very far apart, have never met. If you are going to make a LDR work, you do need to see each other as often as possible. I have been in a LDR for almost two years, but we live about 3 hours away and see each other several times a month until I am done school and then one of us will have to move. I think unless you two can get together you will never truly know one another. You should just stay friends with her and try to meet new people.
2007-01-27 07:39:31 · answer #3 · answered by DEENIE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At best, I can see a weak relation between the two of you....
Never met before falling in love tells me there is not much to connect you both...aside from a friendship that I do not find helping much...
Maybe there is a missing circle that I cannot see, or maybe you haven't explained a bit more on how and on which basis you have such high hopes...
Not always one anticipates to end up with a marriage relationship with an ex or current but far away girlfriend...
You seem to be deeply in love with her, but on which basis and which anticipations for the future ??!!
I think she feels the same way as I asked the above question...That's why she is confused & has a feeling she is no good for you...
How come she thinks that way, while at a time you had such an intimate relation ??!!
You had your way of life just like she apparently had it...
Both of you away from one another and nothing serious between the two of you, BUT
YOU NEED TO LET HER KNOW YOUR HONEST FEELINGS TOWARDS HER...
YOU NEED TO GET A STRAIGHT WORD FROM HER ON "WHY" SHE THINKS YOU WILL NOT BE HAPPY WITH HER !!!!!!!
Answering the above will tell you the odds that it will work out, BUT WHAT IS IT THAT YOU ARE AFTER AND WANT IT TO WORK OUT... Is it marriage like I assumed above ?or what?
Moreover, I feel she has nobody in mind due to the fact she never TOLD YOU she had one....
But "WHY" she can celled her trip back....is she avoiding you, or is it someone else around...
Distance is surely no good for you since you declared how much you love her and wish to be with her, but most importantly YOU NEED TO GET A WORD FROM HER BEFORE YOU GO DEEPER INTO THIS VAGUE SITUATION...
If I were you, and I was capable of travel ling to her, I would surely pay her a surprise visit where things could surely be materialized firmly, once & for all...
Take care...
2007-01-27 08:06:21 · answer #4 · answered by FOREVER AUTUMN 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is alot of distance!! I have a feeling she might not be too interested or she would want to come see you. You should go out with other women as more than just friends and see what happens, the girl of your dreams could be right around the corner while you are pining away for someone half way across the world.
2007-01-27 07:35:51 · answer #5 · answered by Stuck in the middle of nowhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm sorry to hear that your gf is deceiving you :( the same thing happened to my brother actually and he was furious. they're not together anymore btw. the gf decided that she would show the status to only a few selected ppl. aka, me, my bro, his close friends, and other family members. anyone outside that circle didnt see that relationship status. and that is really really cruel cuz you're hiding the fact you're taken and pretending to be single. i hide my relationship status depending how well i know them. like.. if i've only seen them once, then i dont think they have any business with my relationship lol. so yeah, it's all about intentions. if she's doing it cuz she wants to look like she's single compared to my intention which is about privacy, then it's different. and i really hope you get this cleared up with my gf. cuz that is not a thing to hide.. it really hurts a person when they find out cuz it's deceit. and there should be honesty in the relationship. my bf knows why i hide my status from ppl, but my brother's ex didnt bother telling him why, though we all found out later on anyways. [which was to look single so she'd be able to hang out and get to know other guys.] sorry to make this so long for you to read, but the main thing to do is like what you did in the past, confront her about this and ask her why she's doing what she's doing... and it's really important to know the reason. if she's making up excuses then that is not ok. make sure you get to the bottom of this cuz if this continues, and you left her off, she's going to do it again.
2016-03-29 05:15:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You won't be happy with her? probably more like she's been tellin some lies about herself...and now realizes that if she goes there, you'll find out. Or else, she's just a fraid that once she goes you'll dump her...so she decided to dump you first.
Long distance is hard..... but 2500 miles is nearly impossible.
2007-01-27 07:35:07 · answer #7 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what if she really wanted to see you she would of came in that's wrong it's not like you guys live 5mins away i am sorry to say but i don't think she doesn't feel the same for you any more or Else she would of came or she already has someone
2007-01-27 07:41:24 · answer #8 · answered by Sexy Eyes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like she has low self esteem, and you shoudl re-assure her and tell her how you feel, and see what happens, on the other hand, she may not be as interested as you are and you may need to move on.
2007-01-27 07:35:22 · answer #9 · answered by PleaseNoMoreNumbers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If things don't work out, consider her a "best friend" but long distance, maybe someday you can meet her & things will get better.-good luck.
2007-01-27 07:37:38 · answer #10 · answered by strange-artist 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋