My friend was rape.d and her b/f and I have talked with her about turning the two guys in. She says that she won't do anything b/c she gave up fighting back when she knew it was hopeless and in the eyes of the law, that makes it legal.
Is she right??
The second reason why not is b/c the two guys were old friends of hers. She tried to fight back but ended up with a broken wrist and broken ribs.
2007-01-27 07:17:34 · 24 answers · asked by Hott Gymnast 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
She doesn't want her parents to know b/c she thinks they will blame her for not fighting back.
Would a parent feel this way??
2007-01-27 07:18:18 · update #1
Just because she stopped fighting back does not mean that it is legal to rape her. The minute she says no and they force themselves on her it is considered rape, plain and simple. Of course turning them in at the time it happened would've been the best thing for her as the police would have had her checked out by a doctor & seman samples would've been taken.
You said she ended up with a broken wrist & ribs, did she go to the doctors regarding this? Did they not ask her any questions as to how she obtained these injuries? I would be really surprised to hear that the doctors didn't ask how she got the injuries. I'm sure she probably had bruises as well from fighting in the beginning. Am I right? At least I'm assuming she obtained bruises as well as the other injuries.
As far as being a parent, and I am one, if she were my daughter I would not blame her for giving up on fighting back as sometimes you could end up worse than with a broken wrists & ribs, you could end up dead. You can only fight back for so long, and sometimes it is better to not continue fighting especially if your life depends on it. As a woman and a parent, I would insist that she still go to the police in regards to the rape. If she doesn't do anything these 2 guys will be getting away with their crime and could possibly continue raping other women or come back to your friend and continue to torment & abuse her. Plus, it will just eat her up on the inside, as she will probably continue to think that it is her fault when it isn't. And if her parents are any type of decent parents and human beings, they won't blame your friend at all, they will be there to stand by her and support her. At least I would hope they would do that and much more!
Tell your friend that she needs to go to the police and turn these 2 jerks in immediately. Whether she tells her parents or not is up to her, though it would probably be for the best if she did. She will also need to get some sort of help, counseling as to what happened to her. There are organizations that deal with rape victims and they can help her out. If she does not know of any or if you don't, then the police or her doctor can point her in the right direction. But she needs to take the first step which is turning them in.
I hope your friend will turn them in and get the help she will need to cope with this terrible ordeal. I'll think good thoughts for your friend!
2007-01-27 07:32:54 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Me-Just Me♥ 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
First off it is still illegal because in the eyes of the law if they say no or it is unwanted sex it is rap no matter what. Second she needs to tell her parents becuase unless they are unblanced they will not see her as not fighting back since she has a broken wrist and ribs. Third they have to be involved to help but she does need to do this becuase if she doesn't she will regret it for life. Also most people that are raped are raped by people they know and trust.
2007-01-27 08:04:43 · answer #2 · answered by Toni T 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She does need to find the strength in herself to report this, and her parents will be there for her I am sure. No means no, and many rape survivors think that since they gave up fighting then it was somehow their fault. First get her to realize that she is a survivor, not a victim. She may have saved herself more injury or even death by not fighting them anymore. She needs to talk to and see a rape counselor and join in with other women that have been through the same thing. She does not have to talk unless she wants to, but she needs to know that she is, unfortunately not alone. These evil people need to pay for their crimes. Encourage her to speak out and turn this awful thing into something which she and other women like her can draw knowledge and strength. I sure hope that she seeks some help so that one day she will see herself as a survivor rather than a victim.
2007-01-27 07:29:55 · answer #3 · answered by tryin4freedom 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Put them away !! She had the right to say no and she apparently did. This will affect her in so many ways for the rest of her life if she doesn't acknowledge it now. If it hasn't been too long ago and she has proof of her injuries it will be easier. If not, she should still pursue it. She needs to tell her parents. I know...my daughter kept this from me for a couple of weeks before she got courage enough to speak up. These "worthless" men will continue to do this if they know they can keep getting away with it. Please make her do the right thing. Even though she's afraid of the humiliation they may try and put her through she will survive it much better than if she lives with the "what if". Good luck.
2007-01-31 03:23:19 · answer #4 · answered by chelko 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shes probably scared and in so much emotional pain. I would urge your friend to tell her parents and seek counseling. Unless she got a rape exam afterwards it will be her word against theirs, it would be up the DA to seek charges, which they may or may not do. Right now though she really needs counseling to help her through this. It will tear her up if she keeps it a secret. Try to help her understand that just because she gave up fighting doesnt mean that she gave consent and under no means does that give someone the right to continue raping her. Try to help her understand that her parents are not going to blame her, and they can provide a great deal of support while she is going through this diffcult time. God bless her and you and her b/f for supporting her through this.
2007-01-27 07:30:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter that she gave up fighting. She has bodily injuries that is sugnificant evidence. She of course should have had a rape kit done right away but. She needs to turn them in now. She needs to know that she is not the only girl in the world and how is she going to feel when it is her fault that they do it to someone else because she did not do her part.
2007-01-30 22:51:22 · answer #6 · answered by Shelly t 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is legal to have sex with anyone who is fighting back. Just because she gave up fighting doesn't make it legal. She probably did the right thing in giving up cause people who rape usually do it for the power trip. She should turn the guys in cause they might do it to someone else. As for her parents they should be understanding and not blame her if they really love her.
2007-01-27 07:25:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
First of all there is no way in hell she is right! Just because someone takes advantage of you, and you don't have enough strength to get away, doesn't make in consentual. She needs to tell someone, It maybe her word against theirs unless she can prove it somehow, i do think she has a case however, because of the broken ribs and wrist. Please tell her to go to her parents and the authorities. Sounds to me like these two guys will do it again to someone else if they know they can get away with it. It doesn't matter if she was friends with them, my sister was raped by her best friend that we grew up with! He got what he deserved so shall those 2. Please tell her to suck up her pride and tell someone, before it happens to another girl, it maybe to late for that as well, but if all these girls keep these secrets, they'll get away with it forever, and it will be their fault as well for not saying anything, no one should or deserves to live with guilt like that!
2007-01-27 07:27:28 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs. Novak 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
No means no!!! Although, even though it IS NOT HER FAULT; she still feels guilty.
As far as the law: sometimes the LAW IS A JOKE!! Reporting the rape means going through the court (having HER entire life on trial) as well as having to go through a physical exam. I still don't believe that it should be that way!!
As far as I'm concerned, they should just HANG THE MEN who do such things!!
2007-01-29 11:43:35 · answer #9 · answered by ilovepoison2820 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. If she says no, even once, she was raped.
2. If she had injuries from fighting, they will be charged with rape and physical abuse.
3. She needs to go to the hospital (talk to them and they will send for the cops for a police report), and then to a therapist to deal with her feelings.
Lots of girls have been in that situation and she is lucky to have people like you and her boyfriend to support her : )
2007-01-27 08:09:19 · answer #10 · answered by bpbjess 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋