It's not like its the 1800's where women have very few opportunities to make a decent living. When a girls insist they I pay on the first dates, I tend to think it's because she is financally irresponsible and can't hold her own. Ladies, many guys in the world today want a partner, and not a parasite. Enough of this sexist gender bull crap.
2007-01-27 06:55:42 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I totally agree with you. It's a shame that so few men (and women) understand the importance of financial equality. You sound like the kind of guy even I'D be willing to date. You get the Rio Madeira Seal of Approval!
2007-01-27 13:03:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think it depends. Ive been on Dates where we have spit the check or even picked up the majority of the bill. I dont think that you should judge someone as financally irresponsible just because that they dont pay for a bill at dinner, specially if you are young or dating someone younger. For me Im 22 so most of the guys I would date are still going to College and may not be able to afford it, that doesnt mean they never will they just cant now. Also women want partners too....so if you want to be a partner then when you and your wife get married and have children you need to do your share of taking care of the kids, cleaning the house, and making dinner. Also you will have to wake up every 3-4 hours with a newborn...if your already married and do this then you are not like most. But I agree with what you say somewhat but just remember the responsibilties you have to share with your partner besides money
2007-01-27 15:05:37 · answer #2 · answered by ga_lynn84 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it's just tradition. It's one of those things about being a "man." I'm sure the female could afford both, but part of being a good guy is being a gentleman and part of being a gentleman is to pick up the tab at a resteraunt.
Now, before a Gentleman paid for everything when a couple went to a store like Macy's. Now, this isn't the case, if the female wants something from a store and doesn't ask her b/f to pay for it, she's on her own.
Besides, there's nothing wrong with her picking up the tip. :-)
2007-01-27 15:08:38 · answer #3 · answered by matthaumschild 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I myself am very in to gender equality; and I firmly believe that women can and should do anything men can do (and vice versa). I am entering into a male-dominated profession and am alway quick to correct anyone who makes an off-handed sexist remark about anything. However; I still enjoy being treated like a lady. While I know that I am fully capable of paying for myself on dates, opening my own doors, etc.... A man who is willing to do these things for me earns extra points in my book. Little gestures like these make me feel more feminine. I definately think that the couple should go dutch after the "courting/honeymoon" period. By the 4th date, they should be splitting the bill or she ought to pay. But as far as offering her your coat, and opening doors, etc..the man should still offer to do this.
A lot of these "rules" are just traditional. Eventually things will change as the world changes.
2007-01-27 15:06:16 · answer #4 · answered by angel 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You're just finding girls who are taking advantage of you for this. I don't work this way at all!
I think when you are on a date, you should talk about this with the girl beforehand. Ideally, you will decide that either the one who initiated the date must pay, or that you will split the cost. This may mean that occasionally, you have to pay, but at least there's a more valid reason behind it.
If you insist that you pay on first dates, stop doing that! Doing that and then complaining here makes you a bit of a jerk.
2007-01-27 15:03:31 · answer #5 · answered by bisous148 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have a good point about wanting a partner, an equal to share life with, not a "little woman" who needs you to look after her. A woman worth your time feels the same way.
However, whoever asked the other out should pay for the first date. I asked my boyfriend out for our first date, and I paid because I had invited him. That's what I call equality.
When he and I go out nowadays, he usually pays for dinners and such, unless we agreed it would be otherwise beforehand - like if it's his birthday. This is because he has a job and I don't (I'm a student) so he has more cash on hand than I do. Plus, when he takes care of the bill it reminds me of how much he does to look after me. I look after him in return, but in other ways, like cooking for him, or helping him shop for himself and others.
If there is an uneven income, then arrangements have to be made to honor the abilites of each member in the partnership.
2007-01-27 15:09:01 · answer #6 · answered by Mysterious Gryphon 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well honey, from an "Old Fashioned Girl" to a "Modern Day Man", a word of advice to you....... A Gentleman pays the bill, on the first date!!! Now, on the second or third date, shoud things get a little bit more intimate with you & her, then you mention what you just told us!!! And if she sticks around to continue being your girlfriend, then she's "Cool with the whole "Too cheap to spend your money, on women thing" and you two will do just fine together!!! But, if she doesn't stick around after you mention that to her , than I would be careful not to mention it again, unless you want to be "Single" the rest of your life, that is!!! No offense, but some old 1800 rules, still apply!!! Smile!!!
2007-01-27 15:06:58 · answer #7 · answered by Hmg♥Brd 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I will agree but on the first date i like to pay my own food since i don't know him or them very well. i mean after a while on dating i will pay for all, i like how the guy reacts as if i can'r open my door, as if i can't pay for this, or do this they same way. but honesty some girls think it's respect and knows the guy is not cheap, or they like it the old fashion ways. Like alot of my latino amigos they always pay becuase it how the men were raised to respect a lady. but then again i like i am independent. so it depends on the girl...
2007-01-27 15:02:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Theoretically it can be dutch anytime. It just "feels" more like a "date" when the guy pays. And the first date is the most important for this feeling. But, everybody feels differently about things.
2007-01-27 15:01:08 · answer #9 · answered by kj 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Honestly I've never dated a man who couldn't afford to pay for the date.... But if a guy is poor and doesn't have that much money, a girl would understand this... However the guy will have tough competition with all those men who are willing to provide for the woman... I know guys who have it tough and they can't date as much as guys who are financially secure...
2007-01-28 04:26:01 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋