I met this guy, and we really hit it off. We became friends. One thing led to another, and I guess you could say we fell in love? He told me that he loved me, and I also felt that I love him very much, and we became a couple. We discussed everything, and we were happy. Then, due to gossip, he started to doubt me and he broke up with me. He realized his mistake and promised never to do it again, so I took him back, because, despite of everything, I do love him. I was willing to take a chance on him again. So I did. We were happy for a while, and again, due to gossip, he left me, and this time, he made up elaborate reasons, (age difference, religion, mother's disapproval, etc). They are possible reasons, and I thought it was really the reason he left me. Yesterday, he told me all those reasons were a lie, and the true reason was because of that gossip, and he is sorry, he made a mistake. He swears he is changed, but my heart is still hurt. I have never lied to him or failed him
2007-01-27 06:44:37 · 18 answers · asked by blondegirl2299888 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I ran out of characters before. OK, so he says he made a mistake, and begs me to take him back, and that he wants to prove it. But I have given him several chances, I don't want to get hurt again. I do love him, but I feel he is immature and "wishy washy", I don't know if I could have a future with someone who cannot be strong, take care of me, who cannot be loyal. He has good attributes as well. I asked my mom for advice, and she said, "a lot of people break up more than that" and that maybe I should give him another chance to prove himself. But I don't want my heart to ache any more. He came over to my apt. on my birthday last week, and it felt good to be next to him.. It always felt right with him. But I think I should be strong? Please help me. My roommate advised me, if I just enjoy his company, I can see him, but if I love him, I should avoid him as he will hurt me. I do love him. What can I do?
2007-01-27 06:47:35 · update #1
Also, it really hurts that he would believe some loser over me, the woman who has shown that she loves him.
I am in college, and he is graduated.
2007-01-27 06:49:18 · update #2
Let me explain : "My future happiness".
If I choose to be with someone who will betray me in the future, I will be miserable. If I miss out on someone who I really love and was happy with, then... I don't know.
I am not saying he is the only guy in the world for me, but we really shared a lot, future plans, etc., and if I make the wrong choice, I might come to regret it.
I KNOW there are other people OK! And I have no lack of suitors. But I really care about him, in spite of everything
2007-01-27 06:52:39 · update #3
PS: The gossip is not about me being unfaithful. It is about my past. A guy I used to be friends with but it ended badly (our friendship) is talking crap about me. Also, there was one girl, who out of jealousy was saying things about me. She wanted to set up her friend with a guy who liked me (over a year ago), and he wouldn't go out with her friend because he liked me... so she is seeking revenge? It doesn't make sense. But this girl has a lot of problems with a lot of people. I haven't talked to her in over a year but she started calling my boyfriend when she found out we were together. (I don't know what she said to him?)
2007-01-27 06:59:50 · update #4
I am not sure what the rumors are even... he hasn't told me. But the two people that I know don't like me happen to know him too. So it is a case of bad luck? Maybe it wasn't meant to be?
Regardless: whatever they are saying occurred in the past. Before there was a "We" there was an "I" and a "He". I have done things in the past that I wouldn't do today, but that is true for most of us. I would never lie to him or betray him in any way.
2007-01-27 07:07:48 · update #5
If he bails on you over a little gossip then how could he possibly be there for you when you seriously need him. You can do better.
2007-01-27 06:52:32 · answer #1 · answered by wbyrdie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you need to have a serious talk with him and tell him how your feeling. It is not right for him to just break up with you everytime he hears something that may or may not be true.
If a relationship is going to work you have to be able to trust in one another and have communication.
Who are the people starting these rumors? Is it the same people that started these rumors before? Maybe it is time for the two of you to confront the people causing problems for you both.
It sounds like they are purposely trying to keep you apart from one another. Look at the reasons that these people keep making up things in order to destroy your relationship.
I would not jump back into a relationship with someone who is constantly hurting you. First figure out if this relationship is really worth the time and effort.
Look at things to see if you can fix what is wrong and why is your boyfreind constantly beleiving other people and not able to trust you? Is there any truth in any of the rumors that are going around?
If you guys are ever going to make it you both need to be honest with one another and come to each other when you hear something and be able to stick together. good luck.
2007-01-27 15:02:35 · answer #2 · answered by hopefloats 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question is, why is he having any kind of contact with her?How can he listen to this gossip unless he seeks it out by being with the person who is doing the bad mouthing. Secondly, when that gossip starts, why doesn't he defend you? That is a natural instinct when two people truly love one another. If someone started in on my guy, my daggers would come out !! Third, he is an admitted liar. Why would you believe anything he tells you now. And last, he breaks promises. And this is love ???
2007-01-27 14:56:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is the constant gossip that you mention? If someone is saying that you are being unfaithful, then no matter how much he loves you, it will affect him. If he is constantly hearing it, then as much as he loves you and trusts you, he will start to wonder why he keeps hearing this. You need to talk to whoever is starting these rumours and see what their problem is, aside from that, just tell him that he can trust you and that you love him and wouldnt hurt him. If he has no reason to worry and cant stay, then maybe look somewhere else, but just be sensible and realise that between you, nothing has really happened to end a relationship, its all external factors.
2007-01-27 14:55:20 · answer #4 · answered by PleaseNoMoreNumbers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You and I have a lot in common. I was 13 when I met this boy who lived 3 hours from me. I liked him a lot. We dated and then he broke up with me because of the distance. I was heart broken. I found his email address and wrote to him and everything got started again. He broke up with me about 6 times in the 8 years we were together. Now, I am happily married to him. We have been married for a year and 2 months. Your mom is right, but I think you answered your own question. You said he was immature and wishy washey. Why waste your time on someone like that? I would give him anoter chance because mothers advice is the best advice in the world. Tell him you are giving him one more chance and that the next time he breaks your heart, he will be the one to suffer because he would want you back again and you wouldn't allow that to happen which would break his heart. You could have a fiary tale ending if it works out the third time. Look at me, mine was 6 times and I am married to him. good luck!
2007-01-27 14:54:54 · answer #5 · answered by ~M*a*N*d*Y~ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ignore the rumors..theyre the devil's way of breaking up. Find out who's spreading rumors, and place them n your naughty list, and don't hang out with them...They'll get what's comming to them one day if not from you. Keep being true to him as you have been, and this time if he leaves you...turn the tables, let him know he's lost a good thing, and if he was smart, he wouldn't have made a foolish misstake..I'll bet you he'll come back arround with roses and chocolates???
2007-01-27 14:53:51 · answer #6 · answered by white trash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok. it seems he will keep on doing that and leaving you each time he hears gossip. i had that problem with my gf because if i heard something i would flip out but then i figured out that someone liked her so they were making up lies. talk to him and find out where he heard the gossip. if you love him but dont want to get hurt, try out a friendship and hang out with him as buddies. if you see he has truly changed then go ahead with the relationship other wise finish this heart ache
2007-01-27 14:56:40 · answer #7 · answered by MAX 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have too many eggs in this basket. From your
letter you need to step back and take a real look at
the situation. Your future happiness does/t depend on
one person. Don't be silly, there are probably 1,000,000
guys in the US alone that would be perfectly compatible
for you and can make you happy.
2007-01-27 14:50:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hell naw dont take him back. He will lie again. That was that flobbergobble for him to use those excuses. Before you can love someone you must trust them. If he listens to the gossip and dumps you for it, he doesn't trust you. If he doesn't trust you, he doesn't love you. Simple as that. Take some healing time and come back and talk to me. Maybe I can find someone for you.
2007-01-27 14:51:01 · answer #9 · answered by slbeezie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he has proved something...he is very flaky. It looks like he is immature and doesn't know exactly what he wants. That doesn't make him a bad person, but you need to not let some boy determine your future like that. You two should agree to be friends and he can prove it to you then, but in all honesty, it's not working for you is it?!
just be friends for now
2007-01-27 14:51:31 · answer #10 · answered by Mel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋