My brother in law is getting married soon. My husband and girls are in the wedding, I am not (thank goodness). Apparently, my girls will be going with my mother in law to get dressed & have their hair done on the day of the wedding at my future sister in-laws sisters house. I am not invited. Does this make sense to anyone? I am the mother of these young girls, I think I should be there while they are getting ready. Help!
2007-01-27 06:14:31 · 27 answers · asked by wlmrp11 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Depending on the girls ages of course you should be going with them to help them get ready. Get your hair done before hand then assume that you will be going with them. Someone's got to drive them there afterall and your mother in law is going to be busy getting ready herself so you couldn't possibly ask her to pick them up. So of course it's absolutly no trouble at all for you to make sure they are where they are suppose to be on the day of the wedding. See, by turning it around so it's you that's doing the entire wedding party a favor by helping out with them then there is no way even the meanest bridezilla can say no. (And if she tries to just keep pointing out all the benifits of you being there.)
Good luck!
2007-01-27 06:24:03 · answer #1 · answered by cookie 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it is very rude of them to not invite you to be there with your girls. Most likely you had to spend the money on their dresses and the accessories and you can't even be there to help them get ready. I think it is very rude!
I am not sure how you can handle this. You didn't mention when the wedding was... you did say soon... but do you have time to maybe to go the bride and let her know that you would really like to be there with YOUR daughters. Tell her that you are excited that your daughters are in the wedding and excited for her and your brother-in-law and would really like to be there. You can even try to explain that it will take some pressure off of the the hairdressers and your mother-in-law if you are there to help.
But I agree with you completely! They are your children! You should be asked any and all details about them. I have 2 children of my own and I would be highly upset!
2007-01-27 08:25:44 · answer #2 · answered by melodi_jean_99 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having just gotten married a few months ago, I can tell you this much: people get insane about every last weird thing when weddings come around. So many old family wounds and other nonsense comes up, all while you are trying to form a new bond with both new families.
I would speak to your sister-in-law to be. Explain to her that you are happy and honored that your girls will be included in her wedding, but you would like to be at the house the day of the wedding to help them get dressed. If they are young girls -- add in something like you'd like to make sure they behave and cooperate and it's best when their mom is around. Make it seem like you're offering to help her, not that you're offended not to have been invited. It is stupid that you weren't invited, but it could also be she's got so much on her plate it didn't even occur to her.
Good luck!
2007-01-27 06:20:51 · answer #3 · answered by FKC 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You do what you think is best. If you don't feel comfortable with the girls going without you, then just go. What are they going to do? However, I am sure that they are in good safe hands (hopefully) with your mother-in-law and they will be just fine. Maybe let them go with her and then come in a little bit later and take pictures and be with them. Use the time to get yourself ready and feeling confident and then go be their mother. I'm sorry that does have to be really awkward. I would probably go towards the middle or end of their getting ready time. Just say you wanted to keep an eye on them, so they stayed out of the way! Good Luck!!
2007-01-27 06:23:42 · answer #4 · answered by Claire 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you should be there, too. My daughter is in my husband's cousin's wedding. My sister-in-law will be there as will my mother-in-law because they are both in the wedding so I'm not really needed there (my daughter will be 2 and a half by the way). Because it's my daughter, though, I was invited to be there and even ride in the limo with everyone else.
2007-01-27 08:56:25 · answer #5 · answered by Amy Lynn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your daughters will be there, you should. It's difficult enough to get the bride ready, much less 3 small little girls. When I got married, my husband's 3 nieces were in our wedding. It didn't matter to me who was there helping us get ready, I was grateful for the help.
I would simply ask what time I should bring my girls over and then just stay and help get them ready. Operate under the assumption that they did not expect the children to be there alone with all that your mother-in-law and the bride have to deal with. You're being considerate and overlooking their rude behavior. :-)
Good luck!
2007-01-27 06:26:33 · answer #6 · answered by turnerzgirl101 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do you have an issue with your girls being with or going somewhere alone with grandma? If not, let it go and let grandma deal with the situation. She'll want the girls to look good,right? Enjoy the couple of hours of relaxation and getting yourself ready in peace. There isn't a doubt in my mind that things wouldl go smoother getting the girls ready if you are there but hey, go with the flow and make a mental note about what you will do different when the time comes to plan your daughters weddings. Just have grandma phone you on her cell when they are leaving for the church and meet there ...you'll still have plenty of time for last minute checks.
2007-01-27 06:29:52 · answer #7 · answered by mups mom 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are your girls considered old enough to take care of themselves, especially for this important event? If they are, perhaps there will be a lot of people congregating at the venue and the in-laws thought that they'll be okay on their own.
If your daughters are not able to care for themselves then I would approach the in-laws and say that perhaps it would be best for the girls to have you with them to help them dress and look absolutely great for such a momentous occasion for the family. This should lessen the stress and the work on those who would be assigned to look after your girls at a time when everyone else will be extremely busy.
2007-01-27 06:22:59 · answer #8 · answered by JADE 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
That's crazy! You should definitely be there! Maybe you could approach it like this..."I think it would be a good idea for me to be there with my girls while they are getting dressed and their hair gets done, so I can make sure they behave and take over helping them if everyone else is running short on time." If that doesn't work you or preferably your husband needs to tell them you are going to be there for the simple fact that they're your children and you want to be with them. Good luck to you!! What a pain...
2007-01-27 06:23:19 · answer #9 · answered by Mum2Boys 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, tell your future sister in-law's sister that you would like to be there. Really, it is her decision, considering it is her house. She is not totally obligated to have you there, however, yes, you are the mother of the girls and if you want to be there, I don't see any reason of why you shouldn't be. You will just have to speak to her and tell her you would like to be there. Offering to help out might be a good point, too.
2007-01-27 06:19:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋