Am i right to feel the way i do ??????

Question

My partner has had 3 one night stands in the 9 1/2 years we have been together.
But we seemed to get through it.
Just recently i found out that i am pregnant with our 3rd baby, and it has brought up all the worrys of him doing it to me again, he is imature for his age i feel more grown up than him ( hes 30 and im 25)
He says i treat him like a prisoner and that i say all the right stuff to make him go and do it again.I do let him go out its always me staying at home looking after the kids and him spending all our money.
He has gone away at the moment to premote a family business that hes not getting paid for.hes for 4 days when i need him the most as i am fairly ill due to being only 8 weeks pregnant and have a bad cold.
He doesnt help out at home either and its me who works part time for money even though he is looking for work but not much in our area.
Am i wrong to think that i have put up with alot ???

Please do not critisice me taking him back for the one night stands

Answer 1

I think that you need to have a very serious talk with your man, lady! He is not treating you the way you DESERVE to be treated! You need to tell him that he is not putting all of himself into your relationship and that it needs to change! I hope i helped!
BEST OF LUCK TO YOU AND YOUR BABIES!

Answer 2

This is the typical thing I would expect from a man who enjoys the benifits of a stable-ish relationship, knowing full well that you will forgive his "wanderings", and being able to off-load on you when ever he pleases. As for the "Saying all the right stuff", what bollocks! He is happy to get "stiff" and "do the business", but as soon as responsability comes onto the cards, he blames you!
I rarely say this, but you need to give yourself a slap! He goes out and spends all the money...Er, what a good role model for your children! "Gee, daddy used to treat mam like crap, so it must be O.K.!"
Do you honestly need someone to tell you the obvious?
In the long run it will be your children that will suffer...Think about it!
He can't get a job...more like he doesn't want to get one...This is based on the fact that you say, and I quote, "He has gone away at the moment to promote a family business..." and "...he is looking for work..."
I'm not a genius, but I would have thought he would work for his family if he was that interested in putting some money in the pot for the kids!

I, although some may disagree, would suggest looking into supporting yourself away from him until he has sorted himself out...and that means no more nookie for him with you!!!

Hope this helps!

Answer 3

You need to get someself respectand ditch this looser.
Youmight want to stay "for the children" but believe me,watching their father treat theirmother like this wont help them while they're growing up. Kids are amazingly perceptive and will pick up on things you wouldn't expect them to.

How can you stay in a marriage that is supposed to be based on love and trust when this guy obviously has no respect for you at all?

Itmight be hard tolet go but be strong. He's the type of guy who obviously doesn't know the meaning of consequences.
You have to let him know you won't put up with it and your better off without him. Blaming you for cheating is his way of justifying what he does to himself so he looses the guilt.

You've put up with too much for too long.
If you don't do something about it now you'll end up waking up realising you've wasted your life on a man who doesn't deserve you and it will be too late then.

This might sound harsh and I wish you the best, only you can stand up for yourself.

Answer 4

The situation that you are in allows for you to depend on him and feel as though you need him, but as you have stated yourself he isn't doing anything. It seems as though he uses you to excuse his behavior ie. you make him feel like a prisioner. You are not wrong for feeling that you have to put up with these circumstances, but you may be inncorrect by not realizing the other options that you have. Why do you need him? Why not move out if you are already doing everything on your own? Weigh the pros and cons of being in this relationship. The factor that he is the father of your children weighs heavily, but he is not acting as a father. Find what you can use from him. What are the things that he does offer you? Once you find those use them up until you are able to go out on your own.

I wish you the best of luck
Shiva

Answer 5

Absolutely you have put up with too much. Listen to what he's actually saying: he's saying he's going to do it again and that you're to blame. Oh really! You're not doing anything any self-respecting woman and mother of 3 of his kids wouldn't do! He's a total player and loser, trying to offload the responsibility onto you. If he's old enough to breed children he's old enough to get serious and settle down. I wonder if he really is away on "family business" or if he's just promoting his own interests! You're the one bringing in the money and doing all the chores on top of being pregnant! Unless you actually enjoy the feeling of his boot on your neck grinding your face in the dirt, start planning a future for yourself and kids that doesn't include him. He's using you, period. And you're letting him, and feeling bad about feeling bad about it.

Answer 6

I do think that you are putting up with more than you should. First you need to take a look at what you're allowing your children to see (it's ok for daddy's to not be with family and to mess around on momma's). That is going to stick with them into their adult life.....would you really want your son to do that to someone else? or would you want your daughter to put up with some man treating her that way? Second, you need to realize that you are worthy of love AND respect! If you let him keep running all over you like this, it will never stop! You deserve better and so do your children.

Answer 7

I think that as soon as your better you should start going out abit more with your friends. Treat yourself more. Sooner or later he will realise what he has so by taking my advice im hoping he will see this before its to late and you've had enough and walk out to a new life with your kids.
Just make him believe that you and the kids are the most important thing in his life.
Good luck :o)

Answer 8

Wow! He's ONLY had 3 one night stands?

How many one night stands does he have to have before you notice that this scum belongs on the bottom of a zoo keeper's boot?

***shakes her head***

Are you THAT much of a door mat?

Why is it that women like you make a bad name for women like me? Women like me don't tolerate BS from SCUM. Women like you do. Why????? Do you feel THAT sorry for yourself that you don't believe you can have better?

I just don't get it. Though, ppl are responsible for their own lives. It's your fault, Sweetie. I hate to give you tough love, but you told him it was okay to cheat on you just by sticking around with him. By now, he could be cheating on someone else only to leave you free and not the prisoner. You're making yourself the prisoner and he's turning it around on you saying that you're making him the prisoner. What a LOSER!!!!!

Grow a back bone, scoop up your kids from day care and take them to your parents and file for divorce. Once you get back on your feet, go back to school and major in something with future and forget him!!!
Once you've forgotten him, meet a dashing new man and have a healthy love relationship. You and your kids deserve better!!!

LEAVE HIM!!!!!

Answer 9

u must to see what is going on, maybe he disappointed that u having baby, but it's not your fault... so dear talk to him, and tell him truly what u think and what u want, if he really care and loves u, must to help u in everything and share with u the sadness and the happiness and everything.. go and don't wait for tomorrow to tell him how u feeling... good luck u will do great.

Answer 10

wow what a little crybaby..... he thinks he's a prisoner? i didnt know prisoners were allowed to walk out of the prison.... he kinda sounds like my dad was before the divorce when i was about 6... if you are married divorce him and make him pay childsupport.. you dont need scum like him hanging around... he will chance eventually but not any time soon