Whats wrong with me?

Question

I have been dating my girlfriend for about 8 months now, and we spend most of our time together, out, or at my house, im 18 years old and in highschool. I can never seem to get enough courage to go over to her house and hang out there, she has 3 siblings, all older, 2 girls and one guy. I'm just wondering if I'm just really shy? Or is there somthing physcologically (spelling) wrong with me? During the christmas seaon, I did goto her house for a large party where her whole family was. And tommorow she wants me to come to her Oma's for brunch, but i just always make excuses to get out of these things, I dont know whats wrong =( I want to be a good boyfriend.. Am i just to bloody shy? Lemme know if you have the same things to ^_^ Thanks in advance.

Thanks mrdg, Your a big help pal.

Answer 1

everyone gets shy from time to time, so don't worry and you will get over the shyness and be able to go to her house some day.

Answer 2

There could be a lot your afraid of. As a girl, i know that a lot of guys hope they know what they're doing when they get into a relationship in the first place-let alone meet the girls family- and as u say they are older and hence will definitely want the best for her and would probably be protective and therefore ask QUESTIONS about your relationship with their baby sis. I think this is a good point to evaluate what exactly you want out of this relationship and if your gonna be around for a bit Coz if your not and your not serious about your relationship then you shouldn't go over to meet her family.
On the other hand, if you do care for her and are willing to see how far things can go with you guys, then you should go over and see her family which i can assure you is very Important to her. Otherwise she'll notice your stalling and that might put a strain on your relationship and lead to other problems. So my advice to you essentially is that you should go with her to meet her family and get to know them and im sure after the first time it won't be that scary anymore-but one thing is sure; if you want to continue in your relationship with her, you have to go see them sometime and so you might as well get it over and done with! That's what i think!x

Answer 3

I will tell you what, I think meeting and spending time with a g/f's family is one of the most embarrassing things in the world. Every self doubt you have is magnified. I think it out there for three reasons, maybe understanding those reasons behind your feelings will help.

1) They didn't pick you...she did, they don't have to like you...and what happens with this girl you really like/love if they don't.

2) I think every girl I ever dated that I REALLY liked, I occassionally felt that I was not good enough for. Families by nature want the BEST for their members. This is nerve wracking.

3) The media portrays this as a scary, awful thing...before we have a ton of experience with it, that is what we draw from.

Suck it up...you gotta do it or she will think it is YOU that doesn't like her family, and it is done. Breath deep, don't get drunk, and come armed with some funny but tasteful jokes or stories to break the ice. One of the best ways to do that is to tell a modestly embarrassing story about yourself...that will almost always make you and them more comfortable. Good Luck.

Oh yeah, you mention Oma...which means she is Dutch...read up on the Dutch as much as possible, her grandma is probably CLASSICAL Dutch... Tell her Grandma "Hoo-da Mor-ha" ... the phonetic pronunciation of Good Morning in Nederlands (that's Dutch for 'Dutch'.

Answer 4

You are probably not suffering from an illness, it is more than likely you are just nervous of the impression that you will give. That is especially true if you really care about this girl and want to be accepted. Try to relax and be yourself, tell your gf why you are avoiding her family stuff, so she will know that you are not being rude, that you are for some reason more nervous about her family. She might laugh but she will pass along enough info to make the family take it easy on you.

Answer 5

Well at 18 your head is not still screwed on straight. I'm glad you are young becuase when you do break up with her............and you will, you will be able to look back on this whole thing and have a laugh. There may be variety of factors which prevent you from making dates that bring you in close proximatly to you g/f family, but it does not really matter becuase you are asking a complete group of stranger what we think it "may be" when you have not given us the answerers all the details. Things like "i hate parents becuase they are oppresive" or "i do not want them to be around becuase they will will catch me doing bad things to their little girl" would help us the answerers put some perspective on you dilema.

Answer 6

Is she Korean? (Oma) I know you must be nervous, but I would go and make sure your bring a gift to the family. ( A plant for the mom maybe?) The more you go over there the more comfortable you will feel. Trust me. It is always awkward in the beginning. Just be yourself and I am sure everything will work out. Good Luck!

Answer 7

If you really want to go, but feel a little insecure about it, let your gf know how you feel. She will understand and most probably do everything she can to make you more comfortable. Then the more you do it the easier it will get. Does meeting her family, make you feel more committed to the relationship than you want to be? That is another issue altogether. Something you have to think about. I just think you feel spotlighted when you go there. You will get over it. Don't worry, pretty soon you will be part of the Fam.

Answer 8

My boyfriend lives in Ohio and his mom lives in Georgia. I wish I could meet his mom, but I don't have the chance to travel with him since I'm your age. I think that you should take advantage of the chances that you have. You learn a lot more about someone by getting to know their family. Though I haven't met my boyfriends mom, I have met his dad, step-mom, and brother. I used to feel a bit odd around them but now I feel completely comfortable around them. It's something that you just have to do a few times even though it's awkward and I promise, it gets better. Usually, it even makes your relationship closer with, in your case, your girlfriend. If you keep making excuses, she will catch on and she'll take it the wrong way. Sure, it may just be that you're shy but she'll think that it's a shot at her...that you simply just don't want to meet the people that mean so much to her. So, when it's hard to do...keep in mind that you're doing it for the girl that means so much to you. There's no way around it. If you want this relationship to work you're going to have to build up the confidence to meet her family. You'll be glad you did, promise.

Answer 9

You may feel intimidated by her family or the thought of having
to impress her family.
Take a gift with you and be respectful.
If she likes you, she will run interference should the situation gets to stressful.
Consider it a good thing that she likes you enough for you to meet her family - that is if you want your relationship with her to progress further. If you are just out 'for a good time', then it could be that you are afraid they will see that in you.
Examine your motivation if the later is true.

Answer 10

Well, It's ok to be shy. Everyone is shy around people they barely know for a period of time. Talk to her about it and ask her for some pointers. I'm certain she would give you some pointers on how to break the ice. She might give you ideas on what topics to talk about to each of her family members. Stop giving excuses and put some effort into it. They wont bite. Go over, be yourself and have fun. :-)

Answer 11

Well, I can understand how older siblings of gfs can be intimidating, but if you are just chilled and being yourself, it's pretty likely they won't dislike you. You just seem a little shy. Go and relax and you'll find out that you'll end up having a good time.