Oh gosh where do I start, I have been dating this guy for almost a year and we live together (bad mistake on my part) but I want out of the relationship. I have tried breaking up with him on several occasions because I honestly dont see the relationship going anywhere, but I have a huge problem with being too nice everytime I break up with him he comes begging me back and I feel horrible because I know he loves me and I love him but just not in that way anymore. I have tried to explain this to him but he just does not listen and he makes me feel bad. Also I dont know what to do because we are both on the lease but I just dont want him there anymore, he doesnt help out around the house he owes me like $400 from the last 4 months of our rent payments, and to top it off he has cheated on me once with some ugly b****. Now I have explained this all to him but he always has this way to lure me back and make me feel horrible. I need some advice on this situation.
2007-01-27 05:20:06 · 23 answers · asked by Cassie M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He makes you feel bad about yourself. He's no good for you. He's stealing your joy away from you. You need to stand up for yourself. Start packing your things, start looking for new place to live, cut off your joint bank accounts, cut your losses and move on! Don't sit there thinking. Do it..start packing now! Move! Do you want him to win??? Then go and good luck!
2007-02-04 04:35:06 · answer #1 · answered by Warrior Guardian 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GROW UP!!! This is NOT Jr high! Your both adults! If you want him out , get him OUT! Your being insecure and letting him walk all over you! Talk with the landlord and see who's name can be removed from the lease so he doesn't ruin your credit too. This situation is NOT going to get easier or better, and worse, you could find yourself pregnant or with an STD before it's done if you don't do something soon. Guys have been known to tamper with birth control to keep a woman in a relationship. Move on and don't look back. Think of this as a learning experience. You're lucky if the most you're out before it's done, is $400 dollars!
2007-02-03 23:35:07 · answer #2 · answered by J. Hoffman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to the person with whom you signed the lease. Explain that you are leaving and sign off on your part. Forget the money he owes you, your freedom is worth so much more. Wait until you know that he is going to be gone for a while, then pack up all your stuff and move. He will figure things out when he comes back. Don't tell him where you are living and tell him that you don't love him the way that you both need, and it is cheating you both. Hopefully he gets the hint and gets out of your life.
2007-01-27 13:27:14 · answer #3 · answered by tryin4freedom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sit him down and tell him the same things you shared here.....stating that this will be the last time you are talking with him about the relationship ending.
Make him aware that you expect the debt to be cleared up before he moves out ..... since there is no point in his staying.
Make arrangements for another roommate and make sure he has the understanding that someone will be taking his place.
State to him that you can be friends, if that is what you wish, and that you wish him the best - since the relationship has not worked out.
Stand firm and take not casualities other than the love relationship!
2007-02-04 01:16:49 · answer #4 · answered by Marsha 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's called ...controlling you to get his way.
This is a con job he is pulling on you, because he has done it before and it has worked for him.
About the lease..... go to your manager of the house or apt. where you are staying, and tell them that you want him taken off the lease and this is why..( what you just told us...not paid in 4 months, and simply that you plan on terminating the unhealthy relationship that you are in ). If some one came to me and told me this, I would appreciate their honesty and remove this other person from the lease.
Okay, now listen to me...you know that this is not working for you. You must be strong, love your self, and get out of this draining relationship! He does not care about what's good for you or he would of listened and left by now.
He is a man taking care of his own needs.
Be strong...move on...you will feel a lot better when you do.
Good Luck to you
2007-02-04 12:49:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is a decision not a post set in concrete. It doesn't SOUND as though he loves you because one who loves another wouldn't stiff them for $400 in rent and screw around on their SO. It sounds, instead, as though he has found someone he can use and abuse and then weedle his way back into your life when you feel as though you've had enoug.
This isn't rockiet science. No mater how good you are to him, no matter how pretty you are or hot in bed or anything else, he's still a turd. He'll keep being that until you decide enough is enough. There is a difference between being "nice" and letting someone take advantage of you. Learn to honor and respect yourself and you'll do what you need to do.
2007-01-27 13:34:35 · answer #6 · answered by DelK 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to your landlord and tell him your situation. Ask if you can give 30 days notice, then move and do not tell your bf where you live. He sounds like a total jerk! A cheater, a mooch, and a whiner. You can do better! You have nothing to feel bad about except the fact that you have let him treat you so badly. He is a manipulator and you are being suckered.
Get out and find a decent guy.
2007-01-27 13:27:31 · answer #7 · answered by schweetums 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get out of there fast. Seems like you want nothing to do with him anymore. Seems like you decided you wanted him out of your life, and that you aren't willing to make it better. And not being willing to make it better a first sign the relationship's over. You should sit with him one day and say: "Look, I don't want to fool you anymore. I'm with you all this time mostly because that's what YOU want me to. But I don't want to do that anymore, don't want to fool us all over again. We had a great time, and our love was fine while it lasted, but I don't love you anymore, not enough to keep on pretending nothing's wrong. I want to go out, I need to be alone, and this time it's for real. I need to lead my own life, and I have a clear picture how I want to do that. So, I'm leaving you. Don't humiliate yourself by begging me to stay, because I hate when you do that, it will make it even easier for me to leave. Our love is over, and I will run away if I have to, but I thought we were grown up people, and that you should know." Then listen to what he says, but don't let him talk you into staying, be firm but fair, not attacking him for what he did, but explaining what you want to do. Then, after finishing the talk, pack your bags, hail a cab and don't turn back.
Good luck!
2007-01-27 13:38:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should start to talk to your landlord, to see if you can break the lease. and what your obligations are. Now if you can't, then you put him out, and get a court order. Explain to him, that this is not working, that you can't get out your head, him being unfaithful to you. tell him it is time for him to move out. Now don't let him keep soft talking to you. You deserve more for yourself. So stop selling yourself short. Now you can make this work, but only you can do it! stand firm! You do not need anyone in your life, who can't work with you! you can do bad all by yourself!
2007-01-27 13:35:43 · answer #9 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get him to break up with you. Start being mean - not evil or rude, just thoughtless. Only clean up after yourself. move into a spare bedroom or move him to the couch, only do your laundry (if you both do it), only buy groceries for you etc. He'll eventually get fed up.
Or you could just be upfront about it (being as though you are living with him) and just tell him to pack his stuff and get the heck out.
Oh - and he doens't love you, he's using you, if he loved you he woudln't have cheated on you and he would help you out and not owe you money - not to be harsh but stop making excuses for him - look out for yourself, he's obviously not going to do it.
2007-02-04 00:19:06 · answer #10 · answered by dolphinchick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋