I was recently in a 2 1/2 month relationship with a guy who had been a friend...then he pursued me and we had a wonderful 1 1/2- 2 motnhs together. He suffers from depression and is a work-a holic. He became distant...Moody..until he started to push me away. I just couldnt deal anymore. So we broke it off and are friends.
BUT..for some strange/bizarre reason. I feel so connected to him. I have moved on and starting dating again...but I often think of him while I am on dates and I feel that he still thinks and longs for me. I am unable to be intimate with my date. Not even hand holding. I want nothing more than to move on. Why Can't I?
2007-01-27 04:53:36 · 27 answers · asked by MiMi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You won't be able to move on until you get over this guy and he won't be able to have a relationship until he gets over whatever is making him feel depressed. If you love him and want to be with him and that is the feeling that I get when you speak about him then help him get over this mess and make him understand that you want to be with him. You love him because you can't see yourself with anyone else or picture yourself without him and that's why you think about him that much. He is a work aholic because he is lonely and thinks that he should share his life with someone being scared of inflicting pain for what ever the reason he feels depressed. Get him to see someone and him knowing that you are there for him and would be at his side as soon as he blinks he would want to work out whatever is bothering him. He woud have motivation as well as courage because people that suffer from depression it hurts them in a lot of ways even physically and it makes them sceared to even confront this. Let him know that you would be there for him through think and thin then you would see the transformation. Nothing should then keep you back from having a wonderful relationship. Don'tr go dating when you aren't ready or in love with someone else.
Good luck!
2007-01-27 05:19:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are crazy. But it's normal. You'll move on soon enough. Now you know why rushing into dating isn't always the best idea when you are on the rebound.
When you are happy being sinlge, don't care or think about your ex anymore. You aren't responsible for him, and the connection you feel is something you created (for it to be real, there has to be continual reciprocation, intimacy, romance, etc), it is an illusion, a ghost.
Let it go (and you will over time), and move on. Be happy. Life's what you make it: you can have fun without a mate (I should know--smile), so don't worry.
2007-01-27 13:07:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cant move on because you still really like this guy. very hard situation especially when he has depression and is a work-a-holic. you have either one of 2 options...try your best to make it work and accept that he is the way he is and try to help him through it. or just completely move on..even tho it will be hard at first you have to do what is best for you. Depression is a very hard thing for the other half to deal with...good luck!
2007-01-27 13:29:06 · answer #3 · answered by a_team_passion 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem like a very caring person and a good friend. I think the reason why you are having a hard time moving on is because because you are conected to him. But maybe being friends is better because it's easier for him to talk to you and he doesn't feel so embarrassed about his depression. Sometimes that's just the way it is. Talk to him about it. It helps.
2007-01-27 13:06:49 · answer #4 · answered by Angela B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are still just friends just try talking to him. See how he feels. And if he's moved on then you would feel better. You might just be feeling a little guilt but you have nothing else you can do. Just keep going out, meet new people and I'm sure one of them will make you forget about him.
2007-01-27 13:05:10 · answer #5 · answered by VMG 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depression and Work-a-Holic does not mix. It is better to have loved and lost than to ever have loved at all.
You've likely developed comfort feelings for him... You comfort level with him is more than with any other guys. Dating is a numbers game, so continue with it, and time will take its course.
Think about your future: Do you want a guy who is always working and gets depressed and hides in his room? or do you want to find a guy who treats you affectionately, cares for children, and will want to have a balance between home and work?
Hope this helps.
2007-01-27 13:00:43 · answer #6 · answered by freezie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get a gripe on yourself, or you are going to lose your boyfriend. You are selling yourself short, want more for yourself, and try and be happy with what you have. Nothing wrong with you thinking about your old boy friend, but he has issues, so you have to move on in your mind about him. If not you are going to lose out. Some things you have to let it go, for your own sanity, sake. Why not want the best for yourself!
2007-01-27 13:03:04 · answer #7 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because you love him. im in the same situation, i just got oout of a year long relationship and was unable to move on, now we're back together. you should have talked to him about it instead of breaking it off. he may not realize hes pushing you away. and if he tries to push you dont let him, stay persistance
2007-01-27 13:00:55 · answer #8 · answered by ! tiffy ! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will just take time and meeting the right next person. Hang in there, keep dating new people, and someone will come along that will make you completely forget all those feelings you have for your ex.
2007-01-27 12:58:06 · answer #9 · answered by Amy M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like there are some loose ends that are still dangling. You can either talk with him and tie them up or you can move on with your life. Time is the ultimate healer.
You're not crazy happens to us all.
2007-01-27 13:00:01 · answer #10 · answered by Sassy Pants 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋