the week.it's getting crazy..$20 for this$ 50 for that..it's coming out to be $175.00 each week they both go to school and work part time...Am I crazy.....
2007-01-27 04:46:53 · 17 answers · asked by DazzleMe 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Do you even ask WHERE the money goes? Hold them accountable, and quick before they decide to live off of you the rest of their lives! And before you accept their "reasons", do some research. They say school lunches cost them $4 a day? What the hey are they eating? Maybe you should consider making them TAKE a lunch to school. And drinking soda isn't healthy for a teenager...though most schools I know of have taken the machines out, just forbid them the money. And make a new rule.....if they want to do extra-curricular activities and work, they'll have to pay for it with their own money. Start asking WHY they need the money when they ask for it. Aside from school, work, and extra-curricular, only let them go "out" on the weekends. Make them save up their money to buy school clothes. (aside from the essentials like socks, underwear, etc, in which you can feel free to contribute)
One of the biggest problems with our society here in America is that people are coming out of high school and have NO CLUE how to save or spend their money wisely. Since most school courses don't teach this in America, YOU have a DUTY to teach it to them.
And don't worry about being the "bad guy" or a "bad friend" or a "meanie". It is not your job as a parent to be nice, accommodating, or a friend. It is your job to prepare them for the real world, which involves being tough, sometimes mean, and teaching them the skills they'll need to survive on their own.
And if you still can't bring yourself to do it, just remember this: what would happen to them if you DIED tomorrow? And would the person left to care for them be angry that you let them get this spoiled? Make some rules, write out your budget, and budget them so much per week. Let them see what you're doing, and let them know you can only afford to give them so much. If they have a problem with using THEIR money for some of their stuff, then start charging rent/bills instead and take a portion of their money for it. Your job is to give them food, clothing, and security (as a roof over their heads)....anything else they use (electricity, internet, heat, a/c, etc) is just icing that you are lucky enough to provide. Most people who live in this world can not even do that. This might be a humbling lesson for all.
2007-01-27 05:05:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They should not be given ANY spending money especially if they work part time. You should only be buying NECESSITIES. Just because they LOVE those new shoes, doesn't mean they NEED them. You need to control how much is spent on the necessities. The way I worked it for example was, when school started and they needed clothes, shoes, school supplies, I would set a dollar amount for each girl (I had two). If they wanted to buy one expensive outfit, one pair of shoes or three or four moderately priced outfits and a couple pairs of shoes, it was up to them. They shopped way more conservatively that way. Good luck.
2007-01-27 12:57:29 · answer #2 · answered by butrcupps 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure you love your daughters and want to give them good things. May I make a suggestion? Call a meeting! Sit down with them and discuss things. Come up with a budget. Explain that you don't have limitless funds, that you don't like saying "no", but that you're all going to have to put your heads together and come up with a resolution to all this money going out. If you bring them into the decision making, and have them see why there needs to be limits put on spending, it might work better. Good luck to you!
2007-01-27 12:52:37 · answer #3 · answered by Esther 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just say no. You're the parent! If they have jobs, they shouldn't be asking for money. Just be more assertive and strict. No one should be asking for that much money a week. Teach them to only spend what they have enough for or else they're gonna end up with a lot of credit cards and debt. No one would want that for their children.
2007-01-27 12:53:25 · answer #4 · answered by eml033 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That is a really deep religious question.
That being said, how is it that the parent has no control over how the child spends the parent's money?
2007-01-27 12:52:47 · answer #5 · answered by Tim 47 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's called "tough love" dear. YOU need to set
a limit and thats it. They are taking advantage of you big time. And they know they can get away with it. Tell them to get a JOB.
Be strong dear. Good luck.
2007-01-27 12:55:41 · answer #6 · answered by Kerilyn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you are holding the money and giving it to her as she 'needs' it.
When I was a teenager I got so much money twice a month and that included everything - school lunch, clothes, fun etc. I had to manage the money myself or else I would go hungry at school.
2007-01-27 12:51:42 · answer #7 · answered by mullah robertson 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Wait a minute. They have jobs, and you're not charging a nominal rent??? What's wrong with this picture??? THEY should be paying YOU, not the other way around!
2007-01-27 12:56:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Agree with the mullah, an allowance which is never supplemented is the way to go. Now if he could just have a word with my wife...
2007-01-27 12:52:54 · answer #9 · answered by fourmorebeers 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
yeah, it is tough when you let children set the rules and then complain about it.
what ever happened to "here is your allowance!"
"there will be NO more money until this time next week.....
NO MATTER WHAT!!"
guess that is too much to ask, eh?
2007-01-27 12:54:00 · answer #10 · answered by Chef Bob 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋