I went out with this guy once in December and we have talked a few times on the phone since then. On our one date, he practically stood me up: he had to work late but didn't call to tell me until an hour after we were supposed to be out. I went out with him anyway because I was all dressed up, and had an okay time, and we kissed a little at the end.
But he has since done a lot of not calling when he says he will and then he called at 4am drunk. We talked last night and i tried to tell him I didn't want to see him again, but he said that he was out of town because his friend was killed and that it wasn't his fault he didn't call. He has admitted that he doesn't want to feel "committed" to me b/c he just got out of a long relationship, but he does want to see me again. I don't want to bother with someone who doesn't take me seriously but I feel guilty about blowing him off b/c his friend died. How can I tell him I don't want to see him again without being mean? Is that possible?
2007-01-27 04:33:35 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like this guy won't take no for an answer. If he calls you again to ask for "one more chance" firmly restate that you two are looking for something different out of the relationship (ie, trust vs. sex) and that you don't care to see him again. You must have liked something about him, or else you wouldn't have gone out with him in the first place or kissed him, so if you really feel guilty tell him that he can call you when he gets his priorities in order.
But don't get your hopes up too high that that will ever happen, since he sounds like a bit of a loser. If he doesn't know how to treat a lady on the first date, how does he handle himself in a relationship? Be firm that you can't see him again and he probably will someone else before he thinks to call you again.
When it comes to his friend's death, you can't be responsible for that tragedy, and he can't allow it to destroy his manhood. His behavior is not a function of his grief because he blew off your date more than a month ago - it's who he is. You are not responsible for his feelings, ony for your own actions, so act in your own best interest (doing so with grace and dignity and kindness) and don't worry how he takes it. If he can't handle the truth, he can't handle a great girl like you.
2007-01-27 04:49:39 · answer #1 · answered by Mysterious Gryphon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just meet up with him and tell him face to face
2007-01-27 04:42:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋