being walked on?

Question

yesterday my neighbor told me she would take me to my hubbys work so i could get his check cashed and go get food she said shed call me back in an hour 6 hours later she called me and told me she couldnt do it i can understand that so my sister left her kids with me then today she called me at 7 am and told me that she needed me to watch her kids well i have my car and my hubbies check and i told her i couldnt do it i had things to do but she begged now i do understand that she is doing a training for her job but come one she knew the kids dad wouldnt show up why didnt she make other arangements? i hate this i need to do things she knew it i would take her kids with me but i have 3 mo old twins and she has a 6 mo old and a 4 yr old my car only seats 5 yes thats enough seats but how am i suposed to get all of the babies in and out of the bank and the store and to top it off the 4 year old is in his jammies and no shoes i cant make him walk and none of the others can what do i do?

Answer 1

You seem like you have a problem in saying no. You felt that even though she didnt take you to get your stuff done she still offered. So you felt bad and even though you knew better you agreed to watch them. She may know that you can't say no and uses that to her advantage. Going to the bank w/ 3 babies and a 4yr old is tough. The lines are long and the kids get restless. Then to go shopping for food is even harder. You are all by yourself w/ 3 babies (even if you have one of those strollers that can hold 2 or more) the 4yr old can't walk b/c he has no shoes. It seems impossible to do. Next time you stick to your guns and if she gets mad at you then that's not your problem. It's fine to help out others but you make sure you have your stuff done first. You needed food for your family and you already had a handful w/ the twins to begin w/. She should understand and dont worry about it if she doesnt. A real friend ( or whatever she is to you) will understand and not get offended if you said you couldnt do it.

Answer 2

I know that you have things to get done, but she's also your sister in a tight spot. When she comes to get the kids you should sit down and talk to her about it. DO NOT WAIT UNTIL NEXT TIME. I don't think that she is walking all over you as much as she is not preparing and taking you for granted. You should tell her that you need to know at least so far in advance that she needs you and that you would appreciate if she would reciprocate the favor sometimes so that you can tend to your duties. As the oldest of 5 children and the first to have children I have had to go through this a lot and if you respect each others time then it will work out in the end.

Answer 3

I think people may be taking advantage of your kind heart. Your sister had to have someone else like a neighbor or grandparent to watch her kids. You have enough with your 3 month old kid. Next time say no if you are busy. Tell her that you cant handle all the kids together, as that is hard work. GOod luck and congrats on your twins!

Answer 4

You need to stop being a door mat. Your letting her walk all over you and since you cant say no, she always will. Today, just stay home until she gets back and gets her kids then do the things you need to do. If that's not possible, ask someone, such as your mother or another trusted person to stop by and watch your children while you take hers to the bank and store with you. Next time, tell her no and be firm about it no matter how much she begs. Her kids = her responsibility to find child care, not yours.

Answer 5

Tell her to call the kid's dad and get his lazy butt over there to take care of his kids. Can your neighbor come over for a little bit and watch the kids so you can at least go to the bank and the store. Maybe take the twins with you so she is not overwhelmed, and why can't she bother to at least bring some clothes and shoes for her kids? You need to tell her next time that she needs to bring clothes and shoes. That is just being lazy.

Answer 6

It depends, if this kind of behaviour happens frequently then yes people are taking advantage of you and not giving you the respect you deserve. You need to make it clear to these people that if this happens again you will not be available to help any more.especially with family. However it could have been a genuine problem with your sister and your neighbour. If this is the case you need to put it behind you. If not the case you need to be more assertive or your kids will follow the same trend.

Answer 7

You can't go anywhere. No one under the age of 13 should ride in the front seat. It's not safe. And, unless you're an octopus, there's no way of getting out of your car with that many little ones. You'll have to try again tomorrow. I know how frustrating this can be. Your sister owes you big time!

Answer 8

Next time she does this to you. Be firm with her and tell her that you already have your day planned and cannot take care of her kids. Also, ask her to call you a day or so in advance next time she needs you to baby-sit.

If she still shows up at your door with her kids, simply say "No, I'm sorry, but I can't help you today. You should have called me yesterday to see if I could."

Answer 9

tell your sister you don't mind watching her kids now and then and with warning but tell her you have a life and things to do yourself i know some things cant be helped but if you think she thinks your an easy touch you will be

Answer 10

Call your sister and see if she can help you. Next time say no even though it might be hard(trust me I am one those people who have a hard time saying no too.)