Ok I know this is none of my business but...?

Question

Ok, my oldest brother is a jehovahs witness, ( were not blood related but hes exactly like my brother) and his gf is a Catholic... They want to get married.. and I want to give my full blessings but I mean she celebrates x-mas,easter, and other "pagan" holidays, where he doesnt and ugh.. I have been trying to figure this out in my mind.. Do u guyz think that this marriage would last or not? I mean religon to some is not important BUT these 2 are firm on there religons and neither would convert....and his gf asked me to talk to him.. Does anyone have any advice I could give him? I know this is none of my business...

Answer 1

This marriage does not sound like a good match at all. If religion is very important to both your brother and his fiancee and neither is willing to convert, then it's not going to work.

It will be especially tough if they want to have kids - you can't raise kids in both religions, when the religions are so different and one considers the other religion's holidays "pagan." And if religion is very important to both parents, then it will be nearly impossible to "choose" one religion to raise the kids in. Furthermore, if they want a Catholic wedding, as part of their marriage vows, they will vow to raise their children Catholic. It doesn't sound like that's something your brother, as a committed JW, can do. I don't know what JW's marriage vows are like, but there might be a similar situation there as well.

Now the second question is what do you do about it. It may be that you can't give advice - you don't say how old you are, but if you're only a teenager, your advice is not going to be appreciated. Perhaps other family members can give similar advice? One way to approach it would be to ask your brother how he wants his children raised and to think long and hard about how feasible that is considering the different background of his fiancee. Ask him if he knows of any families where the mom and dad had such different beliefs where the children grew up to be practicing members of one of their parent's faiths.

In my experience, children raised by parents with different religions generally grow up to be non-religious. And those are kids from families where the religions are not too hostile to one another (e.g. Episcopalian/Jewish marriages). It's going to be even more difficult if you're talking about two religions that are rather hostile to one another. JW and Catholicism are extremely incompatible in their beliefs. A person simply cannot be both a Catholic and JW - it's just not possible. Plus it sounds like JW's would take a very hostile view towards Catholic practices. That's not a good environment to raise kids in - can you imagine, mom wants to take the kids to Mass, and put up a Christmas tree and Dad says this is pagan? In an environment like this, the kids will likely grow up to be cynical of all religion and won't practice JW or Catholicism or anything. If your brother and his fiancee are as committed to their faiths as you say, such a prospect would be devastating.

Answer 2

Go to www.apologeticsindex.com Look up catholic, and Jehovah's Witness, you may find links there that will help you understand each. Your brother is not a Christian, his gf could be. The trick would be to find out if his gf is a real Christian or just a catholic in name only. There is a difference. If she is not-then all they will do is bump heads all day long about their respective cults. If, by chance, she is a real Christian-then maybe she can find some help that will help lead him out of his cult.
Either way- a mixed religious marriage starts out on very shaky ground. One will have to yield in order for there to be peace in the marriage. Or both could repent and ask God to help them find a church that honors Jesus as Savior. That would be a happy ending to this tragedy.

Answer 3

Even though Christmas and easter were concieved around pagan holidays doesnt change their meaning that Christ was Born and Christ was Crusified. I dont understand Jehova witness theory but i think they still believe in Christ. These Holidays celebrate the Comming of christ and his sacrifice to save us all. The meaning of these holidays is vastly more important than when they are celebrated.

This is kind of a silly example but may clear up my meaning. I do not know when my dog was actually born, i got him when he was a bit over a year old. I chose to celebrate his birthday and mark his years on June 21 st. He usually gets a toy and a nice treat on this day. Do you think i chose this date because it has pagan meaning? no. it was just an easy one to remember, was close to his "real" birthday (whenever that really was) i know im close from documents or his shots he got when he was 3 months old. But its the meaning that was important of when he was born and to celebrate it. Christmas is no different we celebrate Christs birth. Tell your brother that.

Answer 4

Who are we to advice them?

What is wrong in celebrating the birth, death, and resurrection of Christ Jesus. We all know that the holidays were adopted from the pagan feasts. Its not the day in which we celebrate, its who we give honor and glory to.

Would not marry a man from the Jehovah Witness Cult, after all that group thinks only 144,000 will be in heaven and the rest in hell.

Unequally yoked, so they should not marry, but again who are we to advice them?

Answer 5

I know a couple that has been married for over forty years, and he is a JW, and she is Catholic. It was a little bumpy at times, but they made it work. Relax, almost anything can be worked out in the context of a loving relationship, if both people really want to make it work.

Answer 6

I hate to be negative but it does not seem that this relationship will work out. Think about when they have children they each will want their child to follow their own religion, it will lead to constant arguing. What exactly would you talk to him about? Does his GF want you to convert him? That's pretty arrogant on her part. Talking to just one person would not help. You need to sit them both down and explain that if they truly love each other they will respect their beliefs. Or perhaps this marriage is not the best idea.

Answer 7

This marriage should not happen. I'm sorry, but two religions so different cannot mesh. How will they raise their kids? If either of them were to convert, their families would probably shun them (it's possible...). This is just a bad idea. Since his girlfriend asked your opinion, tell her what you think. Talk to your brother. If they're each into their religions, it won't work.

Answer 8

It might be best to sit them both down together and explain that you're not comfortable getting in the middle of this issue.

Share with them what you've observed regarding their respective beliefs and the importance of religion to each of them, and recommend that they come to some resolution prior to taking the final plunge into marriage.

Then walk away and let them work it out for themselves.

Answer 9

I think he'll eventually break down when he sees her and her family having all the fun, and when he realizes any pagan meaning of the holiday was lost long ago. I mean do they believe celebrating it gives the pagan gods some sort of power? Do they draw their energy from the people's joy?

Answer 10

JW's are hard core when it comes to their hatred of Christian churches and the celebration of holidays and birthdays. That marriage won't last long because either your brother will have to leave the JW's or his future wife will have to renounce her Catholicism and join their cult.