Over 35 PLEASE. If you do not have children, why don't you?

Question

I don't think I want to have children. I'm not sure and I'm getting kind of old to be still wondering if I should or not. I am wondering if there is anyone out there like me. Are you married without children? Are you single without children and over 35?

Answer 1

Life's circumstances. Don't have 'em, don't want 'em.

Answer 2

Hi...

I'm 43, have been married for almost 12 years, and was in a couple of long-term serious relationships prior to meeting the man I would marry 16 years ago.

When I was young I babysat a lot and loved kids. Daydreamed about what I would name my babies, etc. Then, when I became an independent adult, and adult life stresses kicked in, I realized that I have absolutely no patience with little beings. I like kids, and love holding someones baby, but if the kids are acting up or that cute little bundle starts to cry...where's the mama, quick!!

So, I made a conscious choice to not have children. Luckily, my husband is like-minded. That is not always the case.

I've never regretted my choice, and have a very comfortable life with my husband. We have the freedom to travel and do fun stuff that other people with family obligations can't even think of.

As for you. It doesn't matter how old you are. If that biological clock kicks in later than most, no problem. Don't sweat it. I don't know if you're in a relationship or not, but if not, maybe your inner-voice is just waiting for you to find the right situation in which you would be comfortable becoming a mom. Or maybe it's not meant to be for you. It isn't a bad thing. That's why everyone on this planet is made differently. Hope this helps!

Answer 3

If you've never wanted children, or have never seen the need for children, you shouldn't have them.
I've wanted children since I was a toddler. I've always loved babies and children and everything about them. Some ppl aren't like that. My brother's never talked about children, never shown any type of interest in children. His in-laws are pushing, and I mean PUSHING, for him and his wife, who also doesn't want children, to have children. This is a big mistake!!!
Why does society view ppl inferior if they choose not to have children? It's costly and the hardest work of any employment I've ever experienced. Lots of ppl in compromised positions need to take out two and three jobs just to make ends meet. This makes no sense to me. Think of all the families on welfare, GEEZ!!
First of all, if the interest isn't there, don't think twice!!! PPl don't suddenly love children after they have them if they didn't like them before. It only makes the situation worse. Plus, abuse, neglect, etc.
My grandmother never wanted kids. This was back in the early 40's. She was an independent woman before her time. She was an archaeological anthropoligist and read and travelled all her life. My grandfather was in the same/similar position--a professor. Neither had the blood for raising children. My mother and uncle were raised without all the emotional support they needed that is so essential in a child's life. Believe me, this carries through generation to generation.
Don't do it. Don't worry about being over 35 and not having kids. You live a different life from other ppl, even your peers. Don't compare yourself to your peers.
What are some of the things that you wanted to do with your life and couldn't do without children?
Make a list of all the pros and cons on a sheet of paper.
You have to want it in your blood. You have to feel it. If the feeling's not there, don't do it. You and your husband will regret it.
Best of luck to the both of you...

Answer 4

k, i am married with children, but that was my choice. everyone is different. i think, and this is my opinion, that for as long as there has been women, they are expected to have children, even though they don't want to. now a days if you don't want them, hey you don't have to, but yet there are people who look at you like you are crazy i guess because its just been instilled in them, well all of us really, that when you get married you have to have children. the only thing i can think of is, if you have any firends with kids, and i am sure you do. start spending time with them and taking care of them and maybe even have the baby, toddler sleep over your house for the weekend and see how you like it. it is different when its your kid because you have a special bond with them, you know them since birth and you know their little movements what they mean, yes even if the baby is adopted. after doing that for a while then y ou might be able to figure it out. some people just should not have kids, and some people just don't want them. and there is NOTHING wrong with that. enjoy your life how ever you choose. you have to live your life, not them.

Answer 5

I'm single, over 35 and children are grown ... not everyone wants the responsibility of children and I admire them for being honest with themselves and others about it. There's a lot of people today that shouldn't be parents.

Answer 6

I am 36 and not married and don't have children.
Why?

1. I don't like sex with men.
2. I won't depend on man, because I don't know he might
be a dead beat dad or might die, and I don't wanna take
care child(ren) all by myself financially and I won't get on welfare.
3. I like my independent. I don't want to be trap at home to
take care kids all day long. Plus kids worried the hell out of you.
I want to travel and do other things, especially creative things.
4. I have no job and I have no money and I won't depend
on man and I can't afford a babysitter or nanny or stuff and I
won't get on welfare.
5. I don't think I am responsible enough, I am too lazy.
6. Plus the world is too dangerous to raise kids. There are
Child Molesters and other stuff.
7. Too much heart ache, College sucks, Career sucks, and
everybody is too mean and cruel and won't give everyone
good job opportunity and too hard to find good job.
I don't my future kids to go through disappointment like I have.
Facing BULLIES and namecalling by other mean kids.

Answer 7

Over 35, and have an 18 and 11 Yrs old!
Didn't think too much about it at the time,but education costs and the future are worrying!

Answer 8

Hello Self.

I'm 37 in Febuary, married for 2 years to a 28 year old woman, and childless.

I'm happy with that but the wife wants, so hence we are trying.

Still.

For 18 months now.

If you are happy to grow old without a family BEHIND you, then don't have kids.

Answer 9

I'm in the same boat. Long term relat, no kids. I just never felt strongly that I wanted to have one, happy with my life the way it is, don't feel I'm missing anything, that's it. But sometimes I wonder if I'm making a mistake....

Answer 10

Quite simple, I don't like kids.

And as my brother had already produced 2 by the time I was in a position to consider settling down I had no need to carry the family bloodline on.

Answer 11

30 yr. single. no child.
I am not sure I want kids or not yet. But I am in no hurry. Maybe someday I want, then I just have one.
If you are not ready, don't rush into it.