How could I trust on my mother?

Question

I'm now 20 years,I'd like to share some secrets with my mother or just to tell her what is happening with me in the university, but the problem is that I cant trust her,every time I tell her something I found after a while that all the family knows that thing..So plz help me.. Should I look for another mom!!

Answer 1

No need to look for another mom. Just be honest with her and let her know that things end up being shared with the family. And you would like to have a relationship with her but feel you caan't if this continues. Honesty is the best ppolicy. Or just share things that you won't mind others knowing. Good Luck

Answer 2

Im sorry that your mother can't keep your confidences in her. But I mean she gave you life and helped get you to adulthood that has to count for something. So she can't keep a secret , you already know this so simply tell her the things that you dont mind everyone else knowing about as well. If you must have a confidant then seek out a very close friend, teacher, clergyman , counselor etc that you can trust with your more personal info. Remember she's your mom and she's never going to be perfect just the same as you won't be either. Good luck in your studies.

Answer 3

I have to agree with the others. If you otherwise have a good relationship with your mother, then simply keep things that are confidential to yourself and find a new ear to lean on. Some people just simply can't help but gossip. I hope that is the case.

If, however, you have a truly poisonous relationship with your mother, and her gossiping is designed to bring you down to your knees, it might be better to simply seperate your two lives. If that is the case, then I understand perfectly...I have seen too many cases in which an abusive parent goes on to actively create havoc in their adult children's lives (including spreading rumors, confidences, and even lies about their children). Such persons did not stop at their own children, however, and ended up physically and emotionally abusing their grandchildren as well. And I know a few people who have been brave enough to cut an abusive parent out of their lives, and ended up living happy lives with beautiful, well adjusted children of their own.

As I said, I hope that the latter isn't the case with your mother, but if it is, you would have to be the one to stop that cycle of abuse...for the sake of your future children.