My bf has a son and his ex has full custody and is a real control freak! Last time she found out he was seeing someone she kept his son away from him for months. Now he has been trying to get shared custody and has done everything in his power to do so. He does not allow her in his business and he dosn't share with her that he is with me. But I feel he hides me away. He has explained to me that if she found out we where together he wouldn't be able to see his son till after a long custody battle! I know this is true cause I know how evil his ex is! In the past I havn't been the best gf and have strayed more then a few times. He always forgives me but I keep letting him down! But also I am sick of being hidden from his ex! he said after the custody battle it wouldn't be a problem to tell her. I know he is frustrated as well that he has to keep me a secret and frustrated that I bother him about it everyday! What should I do so he sees things my way! And does what I want?
2007-01-27 02:20:30 · 8 answers · asked by Krista H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He needs to deal with his ex for the sake of his son. It's too bad his ex is such a horrible person to do this to their son because that is who ultimately pays. It really doesn't sound like your committed to the relationship anyway since you've strayed more than a few times and you want him to do what you want. That sounds a little selfish to me. You may need to just move on so he can find someone who is more supportive and will stick by his side while he's going through something horrible in his life.
2007-01-27 02:29:56 · answer #1 · answered by Butterfly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have lived through this and its not easy. It makes you feel like second best to her that he would accomdate her needs and allow her to control him. And the fact is you are second best but where we get it wrong is that your not second best to HER you are second best to his son. Which is OKAY!!! Since his x doesn't care enough about their son to allow him to have a drama free life with a mother and a father, then in reality, if you truely love this man and want to spend the rest of you life with him, then you need to support him with his custody battle, who cares if the psyco X knows about you right now. Once the two of you have a court order that says she cannot keep the child from you guys then you'll be free and theres nothing she can do. But for now the important thing is the child. If hiding away gives that child his father, then your sacrifice is godly!!! As far as you're BF, he will never see things your way. Men don't have the thought process women do and they typically can only handle one thought at a time, and right now he has tunnel vision and at the end of the tunnel is his son. Not you and not her. It takes a stong woman to stand by a man in this situation, if he worth it, put your own feelings aside and think of the child, if he's not **** em and move on.
2007-01-27 02:35:02 · answer #2 · answered by Jaded Shell of Being 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well he shouldn't hide you from her, bottom line is this if he has visitation rights to his son, then by law she can not stop him from seeing his son. However if she feels that her son would be in danger she could file petition through the courts to have the visitation set up so that you would not be able to be around the child, but if you really love this fella why would you stray? I know its not cause he is keeping you hid from his ex. You might want to reevaluate the situation here. If he has visitation rights to his son he can get his son on the days that he is allowed to by the order of the visitation order, and if she doesn't allow it then he can the law go with him to get his son, and she can be held in contempt of court and for interfering with a court order.
Good luck!!! Wish you the best in this situation.. Just let your bf know that if he has been determined the father of the child he has visitation rights and she can be held responsible for not abiding by the order.
2007-01-27 02:28:51 · answer #3 · answered by unforseenfantasy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
now I mean this with much respect, and forgive me if i sound rude...but i cant believe you doing this. this man, wont EVER see his SON, his flesh and blood, its not like hes actually breaking up with you, hes just not telling his ex until his son is in his hands...its just going to better the situtation until a clear solution has been made. thats pretty selfish of you to just stray away whenever that pisses you off.... and look at the upside, AFTER he gets shared custody, you can BOTH go his ex and pick up the little boy....its not YOUUUU hes ashamed of or anything...its just that hes stuck in this really bad situation, that probably hurts him more than anything else, and he loves you, so you should support him. he is always going to love his son and do what it takes to get him...and if that means just tellin a simple little lie to his ex, then he should do it. dont take it soo personal.
2007-01-27 02:29:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow!! KUDOS to you!!! Youre an outstanding father for dealing flippantly with an ex like this!!! All i be attentive to is she would be able to no longer save doing this without a courtroom order. basically in case you needed to take your daughter to the .........park or something you have that good. she would be able to even call the law enforcement officers yet shes your daughter so as that they wouldnt do something. Its undesirable in the way she might experience like shes being pulled between you 2 nevertheless......damaging infant :( I wouldnt hassle lots approximately your felonies via fact now that youre older and function a sparkling record and a activity that shouldnt be 'lots' of a area in this. only try to save up for a lawyer and do what you ought to do....needless to say you be attentive to out of your posting what you ought to do. Shes your infant too and he or she should not be doing this ....it isnt honest on your daughter!!! sturdy success and that i wish you the terrific :)
2016-09-28 01:33:14 · answer #5 · answered by schiraldi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he's doing the right thing , if that means keeping you out of the picture for awhile then so be it, don't be so controlling because guaranteed that you wont win over his child. you are acting like you want to be first in his life well too bad he has a child and is doing whatever it takes to see his child stop nagging him if you know his situation,just give him support not grief because you want to be selfish. sounds like you want your cake and eat it too, if he's smart he would do away with you because its proven that you are free with your self to other men, worthless! poor guy would probably have a piece of mind if you were out of the picture period! stop trying to mess things up for him getting his child,you wont win anything but a one way ticket out of his life.
2007-01-27 02:30:01 · answer #6 · answered by sissy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well u cheating on him doesn't help he may get rid of u after he gets his son u must just be a temporary fix
2007-01-27 02:27:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It seems that all you care about is YOU YOU YOU.
So I think that you should move on and find some other shmuck that will do what YOU want
2007-01-27 02:30:45 · answer #8 · answered by Dave B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋