How can a 14 yr old male with mental disorders make friends?

Question

My 14 yr old son has ADHD, bi-polar, ODD and on the side he has a personality disorder Extreme Narsasissim, controling, argumentative, uncooperative, rude, hateful and on and on and on......

I'm single and its just him and I living together. He is on 4 different meds and he never goes anywhere or does anything outside of the home unless its with me. When i was 14 I was NEVER home. I was always at a friends house or going to the mall, whatever, but my son does not have even 1 friend. I NEVER get a break from him unless I'm at work. I have tried to help him make friends but he is such a dictator that nobdy wants to be around him. We have already been through years of therapy and my son is completely aware that his actions are the reason he doesn't have any friends but he doesn't care. He would rather not have any friends than change his behavior to accomodate them. he thinks that other people should change thier behavior to accomodate his needs.

Answer 1

I would suggest seveal things. First, continue with therapy...if you can. If you are not in it...try to return to it and find a therapist who specializes in adolescence. There are a lot of theapists out there...some know and have more training than others to work with kids. Don't be afraid to ask questions of the therapist...like what techniques they use...style...approach...etc.
Second, try to get your son into a support group where he might meet others who have the same issues as he does. It is amazing what a support group can do for people with chronic and persistant mental illness.
Third, is there an activity your child enjoys that you can get him lessons or instruction in? Maybe a club at school (ie theater...music...computer club...etc) where he can express his creativity...
Lastly, take some time for yourself! Your son is 14 and is more than likely able to care for himself for short periods of time...even if it is just an hour or two to get a cup of coffee or shop with a friend...You may also want to try therapy yourself...not anly will you learn a lot about yourself...you will be able to find ways to cope with stressful situations that you and your son are in.
I hope this is helpful to you. Good luck and please email me if you have questions or would like to chat further or just need a little support. Parenting (even though I don't have kids...) is the toughest job you'll ever have...so I have heard! Have a great day and keep doing an awesome job with your son!

Answer 2

Wow, not to come dowm on you, but damn lady, either shet or get off of the pot.Instead of sitting around feeling sorry for yourself,I would be looking for ways to make you and your sons lifes a little more bearable.You say when you were 14 you were NEVER home. Lady, when you were 14 you NEVER had to take four different kinds of meds.Heres what you say about your son in one paragraph: 1)he never goes anywhere. 2)Never does anything outside the home. 3)Does not have even one friend 3)You NEVER get a break from him. 4)He is a dictator. 5)nobody wants to be around him.. Oh and heres the big one.6)He is completely aware of his actions and he thinks other people should change their behavior to accomodate his needs. The way you are describing your son kind of makes it sound like he is on the border line of being mentally retarded.I think your son needs to be shown he is loved, because that sure is one thing I am not reading here, No kind of gentle words or anything. I sure am not trying to come down on you, but how many times do you take your son in your arms and tell him you love him and that you will be his friend until he is able to make his own.Thats what I would do. I know if I walked in your shoes, NO, sorry ,I would not want to be in your shoes,Just try to show him more love. You could never give your son to much love. You both will be in my prayers, and again I am sorry if I sounded hard on you.

Answer 3

Is there any support groups or programs where he can meet other kids with the same disorders? This would be a great place to meet new people!