I tell her all the time that I'm just not comfortable with her going to the club. I also don't too much like the fact that she has a small entourage of "big brothers" or a bunch of guys that do on occasion hit on her and look out for her when it suits them.
2007-01-27 01:27:46 · 12 answers · asked by stupidfresh08 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You should be asking yourself, why you're not going to the club without her instead.
If there's any particular reason why you're not going, maybe she's not the right gf for you, and vice versa for that matter. Seriously; think about that.
Just because she has a bunch of single friends she likes to hang out with and party, there's no reason why you can go with her. Going with her and friends to go shopping is different, but going to a club/dancing/drinking/etc, should definitely be something you do together. Think about how many "hook ups" happen at a club.
Finally, if you have to ask if you should be ok with it, I am led to the conclusion that you have a problem with it. If that is truly so, then you should think about being with someone that "agrees" with you more.
A man doesn't deserve any less of a gf, any less than a woman doesn't deserve any less of a man.
I believe everyone has an ideal match, where both partners are happy, and don't question each others actionas. The issue is finding it. In other words, you CAN be picky.
2007-01-27 01:38:40 · answer #1 · answered by cko5 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't worry about her at the club, half the time a group of girls will go to a dance club to dance. Why dont you go out with your "boys" and spend time with them when she's at the club? Its very healthy for two people in a relationship to have "girls night" and "boys night". Enjoy the time she's gone and clear your mind before heading into boys night.
As for the "big brothers", I wouldn't worry about them at all. I've always had mainly guy friends and I can tell you one thing: Once a guy (or group of guys) becomes a "brother", they pretty much lose a chance at having a relationship with me. Have you ever heard a girl say "He's like a brother to me!" I decided to surround myself with males because my brother was never really around when I was growing up so I would try and use my male friends as a substitution for my brothers absence.
Lastly, you should thank her guy friends because they keep her safe at the club. You should actually try to build a friendship with those friends.
2007-01-27 01:45:10 · answer #2 · answered by Mystery_Woman 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to be "okay" with it no matter if she goes or stays home. I would be mad just because I have that type of personality. I wouldn't like my boyfriend going out to a club or a party with all his SINGLE guy friends and having his "Big Sisters" watch out for them... but then again you can't trust girls as much as you can guys. I think that it's probably going to bother you just because she's your girlfriend and you don't want anything bad happening, but if you trust her and care enough about her not to hold her back... let her go. If her girlfriends were good friends they wouldn't let her do anything stupid. I am sure they aren't going to bring her out to have her betray you or anything... they just wanna have a good girls night (we need those occasionally). As for the "Big brothers" thing... if you have met these guys and are comfortable with them being around her... then again, you have to let her go out and have a good time. Then again you say they hit on her, which is a normal guy thing to do to any girl- taken or single. Just trust her and know that if what you have is strong enough... nothing bad is going to happen.
2007-01-27 01:49:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relax. Do you trust her or not? If you trust her and feel secure in your relationship you should not worry. Men could hit on her all day and you should know she won't take them up on any of their advances.
If you don't trust her or your insecure then you need to find a way to get past it. If she has never given you a real reason not to trust her you need to get over your issues.
You would not appreciate her telling you not to hang out with your friends because of her insecurities.
Bottom line; The mature thing to do it let her have fun with her friends. Trust that she won't do anything that's not appropriate. Possibly you can hang out with them once in a while. Then maybe that may help you be more comfortable.
If you can't do that you probably shouldn't be in a relationship.
2007-01-27 01:38:25 · answer #4 · answered by You Don't Know Me! 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi there!
I guess it probably boils down to being comfortable and trusting her. And also getting to know her band of brothers.
As long as she understands that she is with you in a relationship and know the limits, I guess you have to trust her a little.
Being together also mean being able to be independent of each other.
I do have guy friends around but I know that if they do say certain things or look out for me, its harmless and I know that they do not mean anything more than what it appears to be.
Why not join in with her and get to know her group? I guess you will understand them and her better and also yourself :)
2007-01-27 01:37:43 · answer #5 · answered by littlepurplebugz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand why you're worried but you're just going to have to trust your girl on this one. If you start getting petty and jealous, you are sure to drive her into the arms of one of these big brothers. why don't you go along sometimes and get to know some of these guys. then, they might think twice before hitting on the girl of a guy they know and like
good luck
2007-01-27 01:34:27 · answer #6 · answered by glim 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would just ask her why she likes going. If she does mention another guy, you should go some time and see what he's like. He might just be a nice guy, who you might even become friends with once you get to know him. Give him a chance.
2007-01-27 01:39:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
why dont you go with her? then you can see for yourself that she is ok.Do you have a trust issue with her? has she given you any reason not to trust her?? if you answer no to these questions i think you need to chill out and tell her to have a good time but if you do have an issue with her than suprise her at the club shes at. i did with my ex and i caught him with another girl...it sucked but better knowing than not knowing.
2007-01-27 01:36:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you should let your GF do what she wants and if her relationship with you is true then you dont have to worry about anything.
2007-01-27 01:33:48 · answer #9 · answered by ♦bE cOOl♦ ☻ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what's stopping you going with her? Ask her if you and her can have one night to go to the clubs together.
2007-01-27 01:33:00 · answer #10 · answered by Love is Patient, Love is Kind ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋