For example: we sold our computer (for financial reasons) and he was going to build a computer for us. He told me it would be comparable to the one we had. Last weekend and the weekend before he said he would have everything loaded on it, but he doesn't do it. I am disappointed and frustrated since I rely heavily on the computer. He has no explanation as to why he doesn't do it.
2007-01-27 01:21:55 · 14 answers · asked by Nicole 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I've asked him politely and calmly but it didn't work. I ended up nagging which I dispise.
2007-01-27 01:39:36 · update #1
I think many times like this (male and female) it's a control issue. Our ego's are so fragile, that when we feel bossed or manipulated into doing something, even if it's for our own good, we rebel. Stop giving him orders, time limits, etc. and hopefully he will see that it's something that needs to be done and do it on his own. My husband wouldn't do ANYTHING I asked because he resented me asking. Fair, NO! but for some reason that's just the way people are, especially men.
2007-01-27 01:31:52 · answer #1 · answered by smcdevitt2001 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That would depend on your hubby and his schedule. It could be he works all week and is just tired and doesn't want to mess with it as it is not a priority for him, especially if he does not use the computer at home on a regular basis. He may not grasp the concept of how important it is to you.
Another possible explanation could be it is, and more likely on a subliminal level than a concious one, a control issue. More guys are passive aggressive and deal with problems covertly because when you confront them, they feel like you are acting like their mother.
He may have unresolved resentment at having to sell the old computer for financial reason, especially if he has it in his mind that the financial difficulties should be attributed to you and your spending habits and wants you to get it through your head that if you spend too much money, you will be inconvenienced and to think twice about doing it again.
While I don't agree with the wording an above poster used as it is a bit crude, the concept to get him to do it would be correct. Do something really, really nice for him but don't even mention the computer except in passing and how smart you know he is to be able to build a computer that others would envy.
2007-01-27 09:29:47 · answer #2 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sound like a nagging hag... (just kidding) what I'm saying in a non-to-diplomatic way... is he would probably do more if you examined the way you asked him to do things... next time...(and this only applies to things that are really important to you).. use the velvet glove approach... put on the war paint... a sexy dress (nothing on underneath) walk up to him... and ask him to do what needs to be done... and offer him a reward once he's completed the task... not only will you get what you want... but you'll get what you want... *wink* and he'll be more responsive to you're requests in the future. Guys... as most women know... are little more than 12 year old boys for most of our lives. if you have a problem getting your guy to do something... finds a woman with a 12 year old... and ask her how she gets him to do anything... then put a slight adult twist to it and you should have the world handed to you...
now ladies... don't tell them I told you this... it's supposed to be a guys secret... if you tell him I told you... I won't share anymore secrets with you :oP
2007-01-27 09:39:14 · answer #3 · answered by alex b 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am a husband prone to procrastination. The key is in incentive. Offer a blow/job with swallow upon completion of an important task, something a little less for other things. I guarantee he'll even scrub the ceilings.
2007-01-27 09:28:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately, men bring us to nagging. think about it, its like you are his mother. i hate to say it. think about his mother telling him to put out the garbage and clean up his room. what do kids do? they don't do it until the mother has a freeking fit. also, most men have selective hearing. they know how to tune us out. and they do it daily and on purpose. so they don't hear you the firs hundred times you say it nicely, they only hear it when you HAVE to start to "NAG". plus i have found that men tend to mess up the smallest tasks you set upon them so that you don't ask them to do it again. they aren't dumb you know. they have their own secrets that they keep. i personally get even to make a point. you really rely on teh computer, well he relys on clean clothes and food and tv. take it away and see how fast he does what he needs to do. unfortunately if he acts lifke a child you must treat him like one. again, not every guy out there are like that. but a lot are. good luck, and guys out there reading this, you know its true to soem degree. good luck and pretend he is a child, and yes, you have to talk to him like one too. and as you do, tell hime you love him. reassure him. at the same time, he might not feel appreciated. and maybe having to put together a computer reminds him of having to sell the computer for financial reasons and he feels inadequit about it about not being able to provide enough money. well good luck.
2007-01-27 10:56:19 · answer #5 · answered by bimmer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you nag him? When I nag my boyfriend to do something he extends it even more. LOL I have read that if you ask nicely and say you would appreciate it and thank him, that it would work. He wouldn't feel pressured or nagged and he would feel like you are grateful. I don't know if this will owrk for you, but it actually works for me. My boyfriend actually helps with laundry and cleaning now. LOL
2007-01-27 09:28:08 · answer #6 · answered by Noneyabusiness 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have no idea but speaking for my self I try to do what ever I am asked to do right then, better to take a small amount of time and get it done (there by making her happy) than listening to her for days to come.
2007-01-27 09:42:03 · answer #7 · answered by ogrething2001 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's a man thats just how they are, if it isn't something that they want or need it'll take them forever to get around to it.
2007-01-27 11:19:15 · answer #8 · answered by Mandie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
men are hard wired to react to work this way. i have no reason to believe otherwise except that when we ask them to do something they dont do it. i have been asking my fiance for weeks to hang the curtain rods in our new house... i think i am going to have to get someone else to do it. when i make that threat it usually gets done by him sooner than later.
2007-01-27 09:27:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
most men are like that. withhold something from him. go on strike. i do it all the time to get my way.
2007-01-30 23:03:07 · answer #10 · answered by xtal6872 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋