It has been 7 months, still I m stuck. I hate myselt that why I just cant get him out of my mind and my heart. It is hurting but I just keep doing it to myself. I tried to think of the bad things he did to me, but still I coulda. It was not the first time I broke up, but this time it is just so difficult. Cried on the street, grab my cell ph at mid nite just thinking he may call. He is still calling me sometimes, several times I managed to hung up, but sometimes I m just being soft hearted. What can I do?
2007-01-26 22:20:43 · 18 answers · asked by bebe 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We're in the same boat. My ex of four years and I broke up a year and six months ago, and up to now i still love him very much and i can't get him off my mind. His pictures are still in my iPod..i always listen to the songs we used to love..i still visit his cousins who are very close to me. Obviously, i haven't moved on yet. Sometimes become bitter and i want to curse love. I mean, you get that feeling that you gave everything yet your everything still isn't enough to make him stay. You tried to be perfect but still you're trying in vain. It's really hard, and you get the big phobia of falling in love again and risk getting hurt again.
My advice? Deal with it. Time heals all the wounds and so should you. You can't rush into moving on, you have to pass through several stages until you could say 'i survived!'. By now im sure you have the mottos 'love sucks', 'love is stupidity' etc....
1.) throw away all his mementos, photos, and eveything that reminds you of him.
2.) Spend more time with your friends and family.
3.) Keep yourself busy.
4.)Avoid listening to mellow music, esp. the songs both of you loved to listen to,
5.) Keep a list of all the bad things he did to you and tack them next to your bed.
6.) Sever all of your communications with him.
7.) Avoid seeing him.
8.)Avoid the places he frequents.
9.)Convince yourself that you don't deserve him.
Remember this:
GOD TAKES AWAY WHEN HE HAS SOMETHING BETTER TO GIVE.
2007-01-27 01:11:02 · answer #1 · answered by frisky_pink_bunny22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry. The only way would to be change your cell phone # block his phone # from your home phone & start focusing on friends, etc. It's gonna take a conscience effort to hurry up & replace thinking of him with something else. If you start to think of him, tell yourself you can't & think & do something else, quick! Maybe your heart hurts when you think about him because you know it's wrong. Could it possible be that you're not hurting for him but hurting for yourself because you keep allowing yourself to think about him when you know it's not good for you?
Is he taken or was he just really not good for you & you know you need to move on?
Like the guy below me said, it may be that your heart & mind is lonely & that's why you think of him. If a deserving right guy came along you'd forget him quick. Maybe it's not that you love him that is the reason why your mind & heart hurts. Maybe it's because when you think of him, you realize you are no longer in some sort of relationship & your heart hurts out of loneliness.... Give it time, I hope you have family & friends or something you can dote your time on. {hug}
2007-01-26 22:28:42 · answer #2 · answered by Nocine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop thinking about the bad things, that the Moron dod. Start thinking about the good things, that Some Respectful person will do for you. It's hard to understand that "He's out there". But he is. And we're not all Disrespectful Idiots. I suggest that, beofre getting into another Emotion. that you check with your Heart, first. Listen to how it beats. You were going on looks, appeal, or just plain lust. It never works that way. Now try falling in Love with someone's Heart. If his doesn't beat, for you? Keep lookin'. Simple as that. Buck up! You'll be fine.
2007-01-26 22:26:45 · answer #3 · answered by Goggles 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are hurting than obviously this guy should be left in the past. If he is contacting you then ask him to stop, be honest and say it hurts you to talk to him. It can be hard but I've been in the same situation, although I screwed up the relationship I was hooked on him for a long long time. I cut off all contact with him, focused on things I like to do and did them, spent time with friends and family and stayed single so I could become strong without him or anyone else. It's been 3 years and we are friends now. It's very hard but time will heal you.
2007-01-26 22:29:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
bebe..
you will not be the first or the last to feel like this but I can tell you now that loving someone to the point of thinking your insane is not good but its healthy..mind you I dont know you, however some of the people that I have delt with in the past have been and they are mostly locked up lol....What hurts the most I feel is that once upon a time the words he wrote were for you! They made you feel special and wanted, his world was you..as you thought, and as does everyone that becomes hooked in the world of looking for partners etc...its all about a game of fishing tactics, luring the fish in with those lovely juicy worms etc....Now you know that someone else is getting his lures and you know how good that made you feel, and now another is going to get those wonderful feelings that you once had from him...
You probably feel cheated too...and I will be brutally honest here...its gonna hurt, you will cry but then you will wake up and see that its all part of a game until the right one comes along...go out...do something totally out of character for you...go mad have a ball..dont go from one bloke to the other..(without thinking its all a game)...if you two were right for each other he would have come back to you...live life...if you two are meant to be...you will meet up again
2007-01-26 22:28:46 · answer #5 · answered by Mysterious 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stop seeing him! If he did something wrong and you know that he's not the one, then move on. Block his number, stop trying to contact him, and try not to let him contact you. Break it up completely. Pretend your stangers now. This is a type of situation where it's not good to be friends after you've broken up. It's too difficult that way. Tell yourself "I'm going to move on and find someone else, I don't need that loser in my life!" Don't try and work things out because if he did something very wrong and that is who he is, than he will do it again. Don't let him control you, control yourself.
2007-01-26 22:32:00 · answer #6 · answered by VietRebel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be strong. Delete his number.
It will take a while - - hang in there.
When he calls just tell him in a nice lovely voice that you are actually really busy at the moment and can't talk...keep doing this... it will drive you crazy as well as him but it'll be worth it in the end!
Be strong!!!!
You may still think about him 3years from now...thats fine, thats normal, but for now hold your head up high.
You will survive!!
2007-01-26 22:39:21 · answer #7 · answered by Moz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It took me years because I kept taking his calls. The only real way to move on is to STOP being caught in the middle. Change your cell number, and don't answer at home if he calls.
He just wants to make sure he can get you in bed again, so he stays in touch. It's not about him, anyway. It's about you. You deserve someone genuinely in love with you. If he was the one, you never would've broken up.
Time to toughen up and stop talking to him.
Think of it like this: Protect yourself! Love yourself! Respect yourself! That'll make you see him differently.
2007-01-26 22:27:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just wish i could grab people up and give them a big hug sometimes. Youve got to be strong, its over, not a whole lot you can do about it. Just persist, get another man, put your focus on hobbies/work/etc. Take your mind off it.
2007-01-26 22:28:19 · answer #9 · answered by coop 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. it takes time. 2. maybe you dont have anyone else in your life that fills your heart with joy. 2. youre just lonely. seems like those are the answers to all these 'broken heart' questions.
peace
2007-01-26 22:28:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋