I've been going out with my boyfriend for 7 months, and he's always saying how "hot" some girl is. It really makes me sad and angry to hear that 'cause I know I'm not as attractive as them. When I ask my bf what he thinks of my body he just says "there's nothing wrong with it." I've already told him how I feel but he still keeps checking out other girls. What can I do?
2007-01-26 21:01:21 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
guys are always like that, .......'but if he is checkin out' then he could be cheating too......just to note
2007-01-26 21:06:49 · answer #1 · answered by victorbusta5 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's a healthy young man, let him appreciate beauty! As long as he is not being a tactless jerk about it, be thankful he is saying it to your face. I'd be more scared if he hid it from me.
You get angry and sad when he compliments someone else because it triggers feelings of insecurity. You said you're "not as attractive as them." It may be true to you but consider his point of view. He must think YOU are attractive to him because he has stayed with you all this time.
Do you detect malice, of him trying to be hurtful when he says a girl is "hot"? That he wants her instead of you?? Or is he just making a statement of truth? Is he loving, thoughtful, considerate, supportive -- generally a good boyfriend? If he is, then he truly cares about you. What you can do for him is try to understand human nature and a man's propensity to admire beautiful women. Work on creating "inner validation" and self-confidence because, for a lot of men, self-confidence can enhance physical beauty by a lot.
Remember, even the most devoted husband "admires" the ladies whether he steals a glance or shares it with his partner. As long as they JUST look and NOT touch, you'll be OK.
Try this, the next time he compliments someone, say something like, "Yeah, she really has a nice butt!" AND mean it! See how he would react to that :)
2007-01-26 21:24:21 · answer #2 · answered by MamaBearKnowzz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The same thing happen to me and thats what u call no respect. I dont know why they bother to go out with us when they check on other girls. They are right in a way cause sometimes girls check on other guys. Well we cant have everything we want and wish for in a guy or a girl. Just slap on the head to wake him up or give him the silent treatment, ignore him until he learns from it.
2007-01-27 00:11:30 · answer #3 · answered by Zexyana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get someone who appreciates you for who you are; if he doesn't look elsewhere. To be straight honest with you most guys do check out other girls, even the married ones (though quite a few wouldn't admit it). Don't be insulted just by the fact that he's looking. If he doesn't seem like he appreciates or cares for you then it probably is time to look elsewhere. But, keep in mind if you're not doing anything special (dressing up, etc...) he may not think to pay you a complement (doesn't come natural to most guys, sorry...).
2007-01-26 21:09:55 · answer #4 · answered by M'kay 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have been with him for this long, I think it is a bit late to make him change his behavior. I am not going to tell you to just dump him, but next time you start dating someone, you should make very clear to your partner to avoid doing things that bother you, and also that you are not willing to put up with their crap!
Or, you could join him, and start mentioning how hot some other dude is (make sure is someone none of you know, this would only make matters even worse) just to see his reaction. Maybe he'll stop once he feels what you are feeling
I hope everything turns out well!
2007-01-26 21:12:17 · answer #5 · answered by ALLY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok have you ever heard the saying " you can look at the menu, but you can't order off it" which means guys are going to look!!! It is ok for them to look, but for them to be say out loud in front of you what he is thinking is wrong!!! Especially when he doesn't compliment you like that!!! I would straight up tell him!! That you don't mind if he looks, but untill he talks about you like he talks about other girls then you better not catch him looking at any girl!!! Tell him he is not going to disrespect you or you will find a man that will respect you!!! You are you and don't go changing things for him either!!!! If you don't dress up, just dress up a little more to be a little more eye candy for your man!!!! You got to give him something to look at every now and then, that blows his mind and reminds him why he is with you!!!! I hope this works!!! If he continues to be a pig, leave his a**, don't wait around for him to change. Because you will be waiting around forever!!!! Good Luck!!!!
2007-01-26 21:17:01 · answer #6 · answered by noramom4life101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All men look at other women but most of them manage to do it discretely or leave their comments for when they are on their own or with friends. A real man would NOT make these comments to their partner. He knows how you feel, he is probably still doing it to press your buttons and keep you on your toes. Tell you you accept he is gonna look but you expect him to respect you enough to be discrete about it and keep his opinions to himself.
2007-01-26 21:12:30 · answer #7 · answered by Rowan1964 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it right back to him and be prepared for him to be so jealous that he'll leave you. He deserves to be taught. So go ahead and check out the guys and make sure he's watching you.
Then leave him. although to find a guy who doesn't girl watch...will be hard to do. You just need to find one who does it discreetly and doesn't tell you how "hot" he thinks they are.
You deserve better!
2007-01-26 21:23:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simply put--it is an immature, self centered, and disrespectful thing that he is doing. He won't stop ----so if you really want him to get the message, make it crystal clear to him. He probably won't stop--might be better off with someone else. The longer you stay--the worse you will feel---surely there has to be someone with integrity and respect and dignity to date and not make you feel bad. love is NOT supposed to hurt. Get going---good luck
2007-01-26 21:09:08 · answer #9 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel, it is intimidating. Although you might feel bad and uncomfortable but I think you should do the same to him. Tell hIm how other guys are hot and if it means you gotta exeggerate then do so. DESPERATE TIMES CALL FOR DESPERATE MEASURES.
2007-01-26 21:20:46 · answer #10 · answered by LESEGO L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop letting him know it hurts you. All your doing his give him the ammunition he needs to keep you right where he wants you. Start agree with him tell him yeah she is cute, then tell him that guy over there is pretty cute too!! Don't let him know it hurts you.
2007-01-26 21:08:01 · answer #11 · answered by Countrygirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋